#roosterteeth first

We start out with Cinder returning to Little Miss Mauve (I know its malachite, but malachites are naturally GREEN dammit) who tells her that Team RWBYJNORQ was headed to Argus, and through the most BASIC of basic ass deductions realizes they were going to Atlas.

With that, Cinder than walks out of their with noooooooooooo catc-

LilMiss: You know you turned out to be quite the interesting customer *DRAMATIC PAUSE OF DRAMATICISM* Cinder.

Oooooooooooooh crap she knows who she is, well that’s okay its not like she told anyone who might want to kill her for leading an attack that got their boss/implied lover kill-

2:42 Oooooooooooooh boy, BUST OUT THAT MAGIC CINDY-its fightnin’ time!

2:49 LilMiss: Maybe put away the GOOD glasses.

Chaps:...wait if we knew the mute ice cream lady was gonna try and kill the skeleton handed burnt face lady in a HUGE scuffle...why’d we leave the good glasses out at all?

LilMiss: THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING-whoever the hell our busboy is they are SO getting a stern talking to!

Neo starts it out with a classic SMASH AND SHATTER-

Neo than hits left, hits right, while Cinder blocks every other hit, making Neo pull the EVER FAMOUS-

BOWL TOSS MANEUVER!

LilMiss: Okay seriously, who left my nice glass bowls out for these bitches to smash? THIS IS A BUSINESS!

Cinder strikes punches, Neo umbrellas away AND THEN CINDER REMEMBERS-

3:38

Cinder: OH YEAH-i have magical superpowers, the FUCK was I doing?!

But all good bar fights come to a close as Lil Miss tells them to take it outside-

3:47 

LilMiss: Please take this outside or my...associates will force you to.

Cinder:...w...wait, why should I be threatened by you and your gang of mooks? I have the powers of ancient magic and she’s got some OP unexplained mirror quirk, why the hell should EITHER of us be threatened by you?

LilMiss: Because the plot SAYS SO!

Cinder:...EH-I’m easy! TOSS ME NEO!

3:52 SMASH!

LilMiss: Okay everyone, let’s treat this as a learning experience, when setting up meetings between two people who want to kill each other, do NOT make the meeting in your bar full of breakable glass.

Chaps: Yeah we could’ve set this up WAY better, now we’re gonna have to call the cleaning guy for just ONE stupid meeting, not to mention we’re gonna have to patch that window-UGH-mondays.

Outside Neo pulls a QUICK DODGE-but Cinder’s too smart for that, as she AUTOMATICALLY blasts a fireball at Neo’s umbrella,  UNDER WHICH REVEALS-

4:08

GAH ROMAN’S HAT ITS ROMAN’S HAT...wait, where the hell was she keeping that thing? Was she using her illusion powers on JUST her head and her tattered clothes for this whole fight, JUST to remind Cinder that her boss/boyfriend died in that attack? There’s EXTRA, and then there’s Neopolitan folks!

After a brief and pointless sword on umbrella fight-

-heh, love those swords, Cinder ONCE AGAIN remembers-

4:39

Cinder: Oh yeah, I have superpowers...fuck, where IS my head today?

Cinder than calmly tells Neo that they both have a common enemy in Ruby, and decide to start a BLOODPACT to kill her, RIGHT before this scene

Cinder: Okay then, let’s talk.

Cinder:...right.

Jesus Cinder, forgetting you have powers, forgetting your co-worker’s a mute(CANON), where the FUCK is your head today?

A. THEN. CUT. TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

5:11 Brunswick farms, formerly a BUSTLING agricultural scene, now a (possibly literal) ghost town where team RWBYQOM(pronounced Ruby Com for you filthy casuals who didn’t know) is staying for the night!

After Ruby briefly wanders why the a completely intact town wasn’t ravished or incomplete like MOST villages. The team busts inside a locked house where ITS REVEALED-

5:54 NOTHING! 

Qrow: Aw dammit, no bad guys? Busted down a door for nothing. Ah well-WHERE’S THE BOOZE?

After Maria rightfully tells them to shut the door they broke, Ruby than looks at-A PHOTO!

6:42 HOO boy, if “A series of Unfortunate Events” has taught me anything, its that the people in a mysterious group photo are either all dead, part of a secret society, or BOTH!

Weiss: *SCREAMS*

7:03 CALLED IT!

After blanketing a LOGICALLY traumatized Weiss-

7:21 How the hell can a screen shot look so cozy and so terrified all at the same time?

-Qrow than comes in telling everybody that EVERYONE in the village is dead, and because of the heavy snow they can’t leave. Yo Qrow, do that have a Semblance equivalent of Meta-cuffs yet, like from the Flash? Because your Misfortune power is getting a LITTLE irksome to our main cast.

Making the best they got, everybody decides that no-one besides Qrow goes out alone while looking for supplies, and BLAKE-

8:22

Blake: Yang and I can go search for other vehicles.

-capitalizes on a chance to get back on Yang’s good side, which LOGICALLY-

-either Yang sees RIGHT through it, or is STILL logically mad at her high school love interest for abandoning her. MAN am I glad I’m not these kids.

Ruby than takes-

-her OBVIOUSLY still traumatized potential girlfriend on a food search. Look at her, she looks like one of those victims on a cop show. THUS LEAVING OSCAR-

9:10 -left alone with a totally not mysterious old lady, whose totally not gonna tell a story that in NO WAY ties into anything in the plot...totally.

Blake and Yang continue their not-date of looking for vehicles in one of the sheds-WHERE THEY FIND-

10:18 A CART-that they can put Yang’s now-useless motorcycle on if and when they find a car with snow tires! Well that’s nice, I’m sure Yang isn’t gonna see anything els-

10:22 GAH-possibly real, possibly just trauma Adam-RUN!

After realizing it was just a PTSD flashback(OR WAS IT) Yang mentions how that attack still effected her, and I’m SURE Blake wouldn’t make her mad by comforting Yang wron-

11:21 Blake: I’ll protect you.

Yang:...what?!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH-bad move on Blake folks, she starts out strong by saying she’ll be by her side but then FUMBLES at the last minute implying that Yang isn’t someone who can take care of herself and needs protection. I don’t know HOW Blake will come out on top this season, but we still got half-way to go.

After that Yangsty scene where they decide to hook the flatbed...TO Bumblebee instead of putting said cycle ON the flatbed with a vehicle behind it-HA THEN CUT TO-

11:50-Ruby and Weiss(who ISN’T wearing a blanket, continuity, WHAT’S that?), who lucky for them find a FULLY stocked liquor cabinet and bar, which I’m sure Ruby has NO problem with at al-

Ruby: On second thought, maybe we should keep this room closed. I’m just...not sure how well my uncle’s taking all of this.

Weiss:...Oh.

God DAMN this is a bad day of discoveries for Weiss, first she sees TWO dead bodies, THAN realizes that Ruby has negative feelings about her uncle’s drinking problem. BUT MORE THAN THAT-the show FINALLY addresses that Qrow’s drinking problem...is a problem, instead of just “TEE HEE-he’s drunk!”

After that, bla bla bla, serious conversation about still going to Atlas given the fact that Salem is an immortal killing machine and their quest may be ultimately fruitless, going into a room with a spooky door that obviously holds Satan-BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT-

13:20 FUCK YEAH-Three Brothers Beans, SHRIMP flavored! Because when you wanna start a barbecue and only got enough cash for either beans OR shrimp, Three Brothers got your back with a great combination. Three Brothers, available at all Just Rites close to abandoned villages.

After Weiss begrudgingly agrees to eat poor people food, CLOSE IT OUT-

*CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK* *SLAM!*

Weiss: Hey Ruby, did you just hear a door slam just now?

Ruby: All I hear is how mother-flippin’ TASTY these shrimp-beans are gonna be!