#adam taurus

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Kali: ...

Juniper: ...

Kali: Hello Juniper...

Juniper: Hello Kali...

Kali: You've gotten fat... again...

Juniper: Seems like you've ballooned up yourself.

Juniper: So... how far are you along...?

Kali: Four months. You?

Juniper: Five months.

Kali: You're winning so it seems... now on to the main question. What is it?

Juniper: A boy. After seven tries, we finally had a boy. What about you?

Kali: Congratulations. As for me, I am having a girl.

Juniper: Congratulations. Well then... with this new found knowledge... shall we enact our plan?

Kali: Yes.

JK: The plan to create blonde hair grandbabies is a go!

~~~

Age 4

~~~

Juniper: Jaune this is Kali's daughter Blake. Say 'hi' Jaune.

Jaune: H-Hi...

Kali: Say hi back Blake.

Blake: Hi...

Juniper: Why don't you two go out, and play for a bit, okay?

Jaune: Okay... Come on Blaky! Let's go play!

Blake: Okay!

Kali: Fufufu~! The seeds have been planted~!

Juniper: And, now we wait, and make sure they bloom~!

Kali: Oh, the fun is about to begin~!

~~~

Age 6

~~~

Blake: You stink!

Jaune: What?

Blake: You are stinky!

Jaune: What, do I'm not! I had a bath!

Blake: You are a stinky, stinky human!

Jaune: What?!

Juniper: Oh no... they're fighting again...

Kali: Hmm... I'm not so sure.

Juniper: What? Blake's calling Jaune 'stinky.' Isn't that standard child bickering?

Kali: Maybe, but among faunas calling someone stinky is often because they either smell bad, or.. they smell nice.

Juniper: Jaune smells nice?

Kali: To Blake in a certain manner.

Juniper: What kind of manner?

Kali: Don't worry Juni. You'll find out one day.

Juniper: Okay then.

~~~

Age 9

~~~

Jaune: You're joining the White Fang?! They're a bunch of terrorists?!

Blake: No! They're a bunch of freedom fighters, fighting for faunas rights!

Jaune: By blowing up a building, that wouldn't serve faunas?!

Blake: We need to make our plights known to the people of the world!

Jaune: By blowing them up?!

Blake: Of course you wouldn't understand... You stinky human...

Jaune: Wait, what did you call me?!

Blake: I knew I could never make friends with a human... Goodbye Jaune...

Jaune: No wait! Blake! Black come back!

Juniper: Oh shit...

Kali: Well this put a damper on our plans...

Juniper: A 'damper?' Blake may have just torpedoed the whole plan!

Kali: It's not over yet! Blake called Jaune a stinky human again, she may be angry with Jaune, but she still likes him! It's not over yet!

Juniper: Wait, calling Jaune a 'stinky human' was Blake doing the childish thing of a boy being mean to his crush?

Kali: Well yes. Yes she is.

Juniper: Hu...

~~~

Age 15

~~~

Kali: 'Juniper bad news!'

Juniper: 'What is it Kali?'

Kali: 'Blake has a boyfriend!'

Juniper: 'What?! Who?!'

Kali: 'A terrorist in the White Fang! This crazy bull faunas named Adam!'

Juniper: 'Dammit!'

Juniper: 'I knew she would fall for those 'bad boys.' But, a terrorist?!'

Juniper: 'Our plans are unraveling apart at the seams!'

Kali: 'Adam is on the more radical side of the White Fang, but Blake is more on the peaceful side. So, there is a chance she still likes Jaune, and this is all a teen romance type of thing.'

Kali: 'It won't last long.'

Juniper: 'Won't last long?'

Juniper: 'People think Romeo, and Juliet was a teen romance.'

Juniper: 'It's called a, The greatest tragedy ever told for a reason.'

Kali: 'Romeo, and Juliet is a tragedy?'

Juniper: 'They both commit suicide because they fell in love too fast?!'

Kali: 'Oh.'

~~~

Age 17

~~~

Juniper: 'Kali look at what Jaune sent me!'

Kali: 'Is that Jaune, and Blake?!'

Juniper: 'They reunited at Beacon!'

Kali: 'Look at that shoulder hug. They're so cute!'

Kali: 'Is that a blush I see~?'

Juniper: 'I think our fears over that Adam fellow were over exaggerated.'

Kali: 'No Romeo, and Juliet then.'

Juniper: 'High school, teen romance anyone~?'

Kali: 'I'll take one please~!'

Juniper: 'Things are back on schedule!'

~~~

Age 18

~~~

Kali: 'Well, Blake came home with a blond boy.'

Juniper: 'What?! I wanted Jaune to bring Blake to my place first.'

Kali: 'It's not Jaune. It's some blond monkey named Sun.'

Juniper: 'She brought home some random blond monkey?'

Kali: 'Well, he followed Blake home, so she didn't really bring him home.'

Juniper: 'A psyco ex-boyfriend, and a stalker? What next, a jealous lover?'

~~~

Kali: 'I have an update to the Blake lover situation.'

Juniper: 'What is it?'

Kali: 'There was a jealous lover.'

Juniper: 'Gods dammit.'

~~~

Age 18

~~~

Juniper: 'Kali! Kali! Kali!'

Kali: 'What? What is it?'

Juniper: 'Look at this photo Saphron sent me!

Kali: 'Wait?'

Kali: 'Is that Jaune, and Blake in bed together?!'

Kali: 'Are they naked?!'

Kali: 'Is that a condom package?!'

Kali: 'Several condom packages?!'

Juniper: 'They've done it! It's just a matter of time until we have our golden kitten grandbabies now Kali!'

Kali: 'FUCK YES!!!!!'

~~~

Age 21

~~~

Blake: Uhh... Jaune?

Jaune: What is it Kitten?

Blake: Uhh... can you come here for a moment?

Jaune: Something wrong Blake?

Blake: Look at this...

Jaune: A book? What is this abou...?!

Jaune: What the?

Jaune: W-What is this?!

Blake: Our moms plan to get us together so they could have blonde kitten grandchildren.

Jaune: T-They set us up when we we're kids?

Blake: Yep...

Jaune: I feel so conflicted about this... I mean... I love you Blake.

Blake: I love you too Jaune~!

Jaune: But, it's feels weird... No, it feels wrong that our parents set us up just for... grandkids...

Blake: Well, at least they weren't forcing us to get married for political, or financial reasons like Weiss's dad did to her, and her sister.

Jaune: I knew my mom was baby crazy, but your mom too?

Blake: Mom wanted to have more kids, but... things happened.

Jaune: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Jaune: So uhh... knowing all of 'this.' What should we do?

Blake: Well for starters, I can stop taking my birth controls, you can give me that wedding ring already, and we can give them those blonde kitten grandchildren they want already.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: H-How do you know I got you a ring...?

Blake: I checked your bag looking for... something, I forget what. And, I... found it.

Jaune: Oh...

Jaune: D-Do you want it now, cause I had this whole thing planned for when I asked you to marry me.

Blake: W-What did you have planned?

Jaune: Well, I don't want to spoil anything, but... There's a lot of expensive sushi involved. And, I was going to do it next month so...?

Blake: ...

Blake: I can get off the pills so you can knock me up in the meantime?

Jaune: There was going to be expensive Sake with the sushi though.

Blake: Oh...

Blake: Want to practice for when I'm not on the pill~?

Jaune: Very much so.

~~~

Age 22

~~~

Juniper: She is so gorgeous?!

Kali: Twenty two years, and we finally have a blonde kitten grandbaby!

Juniper: And, she's adorable!

Kali: Juniper I want to hold her!

Juniper: Give me a minute!

Kali: You said that five minutes ago!

Jaune: Okay...

Blake: Well, it seems like they're happy~!

Jaune: Yeah, but...

Blake: But, what?

Jaune: Three, two, one...

Kali: Blake give me more!

Juniper: At least five more!

Jaune: And, there we go.

Blake: F-Five?!

Jaune: Yeah, saw that coming...

Blake: Give me at least a month, or two to recover, and then I'll give you another!

Jaune: R-Really?

Blake: Shut up, we got to have loads of sex when we made her, so we'll get to do it all over again. And, in new positions~!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Fair enough.

///

Here's the idea I mentioned @tearval

In honor of the holiday, I present you with the new artwork for the series of "RWBY characters in Slavic folk costumes", sponsored by @carn-project.

The week of Maslenitsa has just started! It's a delicious Eastern Slavic folk holiday, especially famous for blini, syrniki, and the burning of the Lady Maslenitsa's effigy on Sunday.

Adam is wearing a Belarusian costume. And look, the ornaments have even moved to his mask! He's holding a mug of kvass, a traditional Slavic low-alcoholic beverage made of rye bread.

And Cinder has a very unique outfit – the traditional costume of Bistra, the region of Croatia. I managed to find this outfit while looking for an interesting winter version of the Croatian costume. The ornament on the eye patch is the red checkerboard, one of Croatia's national symbols.

Croats don't celebrate Maslenitsa, but they have a similar holiday called fašnik or poklade.

-Tyrian is trying to capture Ruby and kill her uncle and her friends? The moment he gets slightly distracted, Ruby takes the chance and cuts his tail off without a second thought.

-Cinder is affected by Ruby's silver eyes in the Battle of Haven? Jaune doesn't hesitate and the moment she lets her guard down he tries to stab her in the face; had he gone for a slash instead, Cinder would be dead.

-Tock has blinded Maria and is about to kill her? There you go, Maria will decapitate her. Bye, Tock.

-Adam keeps trying to kill Blake and Yang? Oh, he gets stabbed by both of them. No more Adam.

-Ironwood tries to shoot Winter again with that weird gun even though she's a Maiden now? Winter just sends the blast back at him and leaves. Doesn't even check if he's still alive.

-Neo just pushed Yang to the void and they think she's gone? Blake WILL try to cut Neo's head off. And while they're fighting Ruby doesn't hesitate to push Neo off the bridges even if she thought that would kill her.

Which are all like, normal. Those other people are actively trying to kill them or their loved ones as well. Which is why I used to be really confused when I kept seeing some people complaining mostly about the Ruby with Tyrian and the Blake and Yang vs Adam things. Saying they are supposed to be the good guys and they should set an example to viewers instead of maiming or killing their foes.

Adam: Know a man's weakness and you'll control his mind.

Ilia: You stole that from a DustTube video.

Adam: Shut the fuck up, Ilia!

Ilia: Take a shower, idiot!