hello angel !!! so i am in quite the predicament.. i have a crush on someone who's already in a relationship !! (╥﹏╥) i feel terrible and so guilty and i hate not being a girl's girl. how can i get rid of this crush ??
thank you so much ♡
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: crushes when they're unavailable (staying true to yourself) :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
hi sweet angel!
first off, please don't beat yourself up about this! having feelings for someone who's unavailable doesn't make you a bad person or a terrible girl's girl. feelings aren't something we can always control, they just happen sometimes, and that's completely human.
the fact that you're feeling guilty and want to handle this with integrity shows that you ARE a good person with strong values. so let's work through this together, okay?
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ why this happens (and why it's normal) ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
crushes on unavailable people are actually super common, and there are usually deeper reasons behind them:
⋄ they feel "safe" to like ~ because nothing can happen, there's no real risk of rejection or vulnerability ⋄ the mystery factor ~ we tend to idealize people we can't have and fill in the gaps with our fantasies ⋄ timing and proximity ~ sometimes you just meet someone amazing at the wrong time ⋄ they represent something you want ~ maybe they embody qualities you're looking for in a partner
understanding the "why" can help you process these feelings without judgment.
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧ how to move through this gracefully ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
create some distance ~ this doesn't mean being rude or obvious about it, but maybe don't seek out one-on-one time or engage with all their social media posts. give yourself space to let these feelings fade naturally.
redirect your energy ~ when you catch yourself thinking about them romantically, consciously shift your attention to something else. have a go-to distraction ready like a playlist, a hobby, texting a friend.
focus on their humanity, not the fantasy ~ remind yourself that you probably don't know them as well as you think you do. that person you're crushing on? they're a whole complex human with flaws and quirks, not the perfect fantasy your brain has created.
honor their relationship ~ whenever you feel those crush feelings bubbling up, remind yourself that they've chosen to be with someone else. respecting that choice is actually a beautiful way to show love, by wanting what's best for them, even if it's not you.
⋆｡‧˚ʚ what this crush might be teaching you ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
i know this sounds very "everything happens for a reason," but hear me out, sometimes crushes like this are actually our subconscious showing us what we want in a relationship.
what specifically do you like about this person? their sense of humor? how they treat people? their ambition? their kindness? these are probably qualities you want in a future partner, and now you have a clearer picture of what to look for.
this crush might also be highlighting that you're ready for a relationship or that you want to put yourself out there more. use this energy to focus on meeting new people who are actually available.
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ a few steps to move forward ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
journal about it ~ write out all your feelings without censoring yourself. sometimes getting it out of your head and onto paper helps process it faster.
talk to a trusted friend ~ not to gossip, but to have someone remind you of your values when you're feeling weak.
invest in other connections ~ spend more time with friends, family, or even start dating other people if you're ready.
self-compassion ~ treat yourself the way you'd treat your best friend going through this. with kindness, not harsh judgment.
give it time ~ crushes usually fade, especially when you're not feeding them with constant attention and fantasy.
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ staying true to your values ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
the fact that you're asking this question tells me you already know what the right thing to do is. you want to respect this person's relationship and maintain your integrity, and that's beautiful.
being a "girl's girl" doesn't mean never having inconvenient feelings, it means handling those feelings in a way that doesn't hurt other women or compromise your values.
you're doing great by recognizing this situation and wanting to handle it well. trust yourself to do the right thing, even when it's hard.
please remember, the right person for you will be available and excited to be with you. this crush will pass, and you'll be grateful you handled it with grace 💕
sending you strength and self-compassion!
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
xoxo, mindy ♡
