#crush problems

thank you so much ♡

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: crushes when they're unavailable (staying true to yourself) :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

hi sweet angel!

first off, please don't beat yourself up about this! having feelings for someone who's unavailable doesn't make you a bad person or a terrible girl's girl. feelings aren't something we can always control, they just happen sometimes, and that's completely human.

the fact that you're feeling guilty and want to handle this with integrity shows that you ARE a good person with strong values. so let's work through this together, okay?

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ why this happens (and why it's normal) ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

crushes on unavailable people are actually super common, and there are usually deeper reasons behind them:

⋄ they feel "safe" to like ~ because nothing can happen, there's no real risk of rejection or vulnerability ⋄ the mystery factor ~ we tend to idealize people we can't have and fill in the gaps with our fantasies ⋄ timing and proximity ~ sometimes you just meet someone amazing at the wrong time ⋄ they represent something you want ~ maybe they embody qualities you're looking for in a partner

understanding the "why" can help you process these feelings without judgment.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧ how to move through this gracefully ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

create some distance ~ this doesn't mean being rude or obvious about it, but maybe don't seek out one-on-one time or engage with all their social media posts. give yourself space to let these feelings fade naturally.

redirect your energy ~ when you catch yourself thinking about them romantically, consciously shift your attention to something else. have a go-to distraction ready like a playlist, a hobby, texting a friend.

focus on their humanity, not the fantasy ~ remind yourself that you probably don't know them as well as you think you do. that person you're crushing on? they're a whole complex human with flaws and quirks, not the perfect fantasy your brain has created.

honor their relationship ~ whenever you feel those crush feelings bubbling up, remind yourself that they've chosen to be with someone else. respecting that choice is actually a beautiful way to show love, by wanting what's best for them, even if it's not you.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ what this crush might be teaching you ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

i know this sounds very "everything happens for a reason," but hear me out, sometimes crushes like this are actually our subconscious showing us what we want in a relationship.

what specifically do you like about this person? their sense of humor? how they treat people? their ambition? their kindness? these are probably qualities you want in a future partner, and now you have a clearer picture of what to look for.

this crush might also be highlighting that you're ready for a relationship or that you want to put yourself out there more. use this energy to focus on meeting new people who are actually available.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ a few steps to move forward ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

journal about it ~ write out all your feelings without censoring yourself. sometimes getting it out of your head and onto paper helps process it faster.

talk to a trusted friend ~ not to gossip, but to have someone remind you of your values when you're feeling weak.

invest in other connections ~ spend more time with friends, family, or even start dating other people if you're ready.

self-compassion ~ treat yourself the way you'd treat your best friend going through this. with kindness, not harsh judgment.

give it time ~ crushes usually fade, especially when you're not feeding them with constant attention and fantasy.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ staying true to your values ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

the fact that you're asking this question tells me you already know what the right thing to do is. you want to respect this person's relationship and maintain your integrity, and that's beautiful.

being a "girl's girl" doesn't mean never having inconvenient feelings, it means handling those feelings in a way that doesn't hurt other women or compromise your values.

you're doing great by recognizing this situation and wanting to handle it well. trust yourself to do the right thing, even when it's hard.

please remember, the right person for you will be available and excited to be with you. this crush will pass, and you'll be grateful you handled it with grace 💕

sending you strength and self-compassion!

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

xoxo, mindy ♡

so y'all there's this guy who i've been talking to. he spontaneously decided on Friday (its Sunday night rn) to drive TWO HOURS (ONE WAY) at 9 pm to meet me even though the drive was not easy (hilly roads and shit).

we had the most amazing night. we talked, smoked a lil, and had the hottest messiest make out sessions ever. like we didnt even have sex and he was so focused on my pleasure and making me feel good it was just ugh so good. and he spoke a lot about like "oh you should come to my place i'll take you around" and "i'll come to your uni next month for a comp" and all. and like when he was leaving, he was literally like a koala bear like hugging me and kissing me and shit like he DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE.

he had to leave early (like 3 am early) to get home before his mum found out he left (he's younger than me by a year 😭). obv i was worried so i made him call me when he reached which he did. the next day, i woke up and texted him (like 8 am) and this guy replies only at 5 pm cause he was sleeping all day. i reply to this texts, then text him the following day AT TWO DIFFERENT TIMES and he still hasn't replied 😭😭

what is he on. like does he like me or not. chat am i getting ghosted?

is it platonic if i buy him swimming trunks for his birthday?! (he wants them and like we are both competitive swimmers it’s a whole thing)

MAYBE IT IS

i’m overthinking this

Since the start of the school year, I’ve had a crush on a boy. A few months went by, and when I finally mustered the courage to start a conversation with him on Instagram, I quickly realized that, despite his kindness, he wasn’t interested in me. Not long after, I learned from a friend that he was flirting with another girl. When I found out he was in a relationship, I completely gave up on the idea of talking to him. Shortly after, I discovered that quite a few people in my class were aware of the whole story, and I felt so stupid and ashamed for thinking there might have been something between us.

I feel like absolutely none of the people close to me realize how much this whole situation has affected me, which is understandable in a way, because I don’t really have a reason to be upset or so sad since it’s not like we were friends or anything. He’s practically a stranger to me… Yet, I can’t get him out of my head. I love his vibe, the way he talks, his looks, and how everyone describes him as being the god of kindness. Honestly, he seems like such a good boyfriend and truly a MAN, as Rihanna would say.

I’m so exhausted by this situation because this school year is one of the first years of my life where I’ve attended a “real” school, as I spent most of my life out of school due to a severe school phobia. This is to say that I’m already REALLY struggling mentally with school and just going there, but on top of that, seeing the boy I’ve fallen for kissing and hugging another girl… damn, I feel like quitting school again. I cry every night because my life was so much better before last September.

Godddd I think my gym crush dm'ed me on Grindr but i'm too afraid to check omfg what do I dooooo like I havent been on that god forsaken app in like 2 months and last time I was on there I saw a profile that kinda looked like him? Just more lean a bit more musular.

It said he went to the same uni that I go to so maybe, but the problem is is that theres multiple campuses so I have no idea if its mine and ive just been so afraid to checkkkkkk.

He dosen't even go to the campus gym anymore and maybe he thinks I've been avoiding him. If he DID dm me on Grindr and that WAS his profile which means he IS gay cuz god i couldent even tell if he was at first...

But he was eyeing me and I think he tried to talk to me irl at the campus gym but my earbuds were on full blast so I couldent even hear it really THERES BEEN SO MANY TIMES where I thought that someone was talking to me but they actually werent and it would be so akward omfg I just couldent risk that with gym crush so...