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i wish i could be more open about my sadistic traits. i feel so different from other people. i’m not sure if i want to be like everyone else . i like being different but it gets lonely. no matter what i feel incredibly lonely. like i’m an alien in this society. i feel so exhausted talking lately. what’s the point in talking if i’m not entertained? i rlly only talk on here and to my best friend. but that’s really it. i’ve gave up talking. it’s boring. small talk is boring.
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I want to pull a Kei Nagai and go live in a country village with a random grandma.
I want to restart my life. Anything is better than this.
(I truly just want to be a incel gamer in his bedroom. Sighhh)!
-???, they/them
Uh.
Questioning aspd culture is getting over the despair of being what I always saw as the bad person disorder and realizing I’m actually more normal than my entire social circle
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When your friend who could understand you left so now youre stuck with people who will only demonize your traits ☠️
bpd + suspected/questioning aspd is wanting to fucking blow up on ur fp because youve been pissed at them for an entire week now and you cant fucking take it anymore, you want to fucking snap at them, you want to release your anger at them because youve had ENOUGH. PLEASE FUCKK OFFDDD UHHHHDHHDDG I HATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUUUUUUU ughHHHNNNrrr (and if u actually did blow up on them and then u then realize on what you just did after awhile ud then start splitting on urself and start sobbing because why the fuck did i do that?? why am i like thisbi should just fucking kms ib hate ut hsreeeee ughhh im such a fucking disappointment this is why ppl always abandon me)
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im specifically fronting to ask this. are there any resources for someone who might have aspd? our host has been considering it, because over the last couple of years of unpacking trauma responses and how we view the world it seems to keep coming up. but obviously if you fucking look it up all you’re going to get is “are you a sociopath” quizzes which are fucking stupid. we just want to know if we have traits. or even just any resources to help or anything anyone does to cope with this shitty way of existing. because even if we don’t have aspd itself then we can maybe just use coping tools that’ll help us anyway. whatever
if anyone has an answer feel free to reply I guess?
i saw someone talk about how they used to hurt animals and i felt like i should too
when i was younger i used to take out my anger on animals.
hitting them,kicking, throwing .
the one i would do the most is restrict their breathing until it would whine or something like that.
i don’t do this anymore . i get urges tho. but i don’t plan on acting on it.
if you have struggled with this, just know you are not alone.
I RECENTLY GOT 100 NOTES YEAHHHH THE SUPPLY IS RUNNING THEOUGH MY BONES (thank u guys)
