#porkius

tales from the smp . . . the pit !

Color-fall #25

“Only the best of warriors have entered the games.. and some jos not gonna lie to you.. the suben empire.. not a lot of talent here”

“We build a new coliseum every time it’s very wasteful”

“He’s one of the aforementioned jos. He dies first. I need our strongest warrior to fight this man”

“Even his name sucks”

“Is it possible for them both to die in like a tragic accident”

“It was in vertical filming the whole time. I executed him immediately. Where are we going to post our gladiator fights tik Tok?”

“In fact I think I’m going to use one on this first fight because I hate them”

“He got knocked unconscious in the pool of lava which was apparently room temperature. The architects scammed us”

“If he gets lost I’ll be okay with that”

“Why does everyone in this empire have cringe names”

“If you were less useful I would execute you for the puns”

“I will execute five architects for this”

“As we say in these times poppin off”

“They were all ugly”

“Put him back in the cell he has zero creativity”

“Bye water loop”

“What did that old sap say his name was I think we just laughed at him”

“I just remembered why we left him in there”

“This guys weird alright”

“I can’t believe I used a royal decree just to re name that guy ugly”

“I feel like you did that just to avoid the topic of conversation”

“I’m going to start firing at ugly I’m shooting him”

“It just sounds so much lamer when he says it let’s hope he looses”

“This is the least intense bar fight I’ve ever seen”

“You can be general grievance because you complain so much”

“Ah yes gladiators please wrap it up somebody die”

“I’ll disable the zombies when you clean up the dirt”

“Pick up the dirt cheater”

“The zombies had to go after the guy using dirt”

“Let’s give Jackie a power five now”

“ once again the zombie split is fifty fifty”

“We named him general grievance for a reason am I right”

“You were the one who said you were having a bath”

“My citizens only get to see one video a year and now they don’t”

-Ran is from the City of Mizu (see post under this to read about it) and choose Technoblade as his idol because they found him highly interesting and wanted to learn to fight.

-Ran says this place is going down as it reminds him of Mizu, unknowingly heading towards its fall.

-Ran is almost completely Enderman

-Jackie actually didn't know Ran was a enderman and thought it was a disguise until he looked him in the eyes for to long and Ran started getting aggravated.

-Levi also didn't know Ran was a enderman until he spilled beer on him and his skin started to sizzle/burn and hurt Ran.

-It is rare for enderman hybrids to teleport. But Ran can do that, and also pick up blocks.

-At the end of everything, Watson somehow gets Ran to agree to travel with him.

-Lagguis is actually sick during the battles.

-King Porkius actually isn't that bad of a King. Definitely isn't best but also isnt the worse.

-Because I'm a sucker for happy endings King Porkius let's everyone live yayyyy!

-Watson is the dad figure even though he doesn't want to be.

-Jackie is 16. Ran is 19, almost 20. Watson is 35. Porkius is 36. Levi is 23. Bartholomew is 29. Edward is 28. Grievous is 22. Genevieve is 28. And Lagguis is 27.

-Ran sometimes has night terrors (about the deaths in Mizu mostly)

-During one of the rounds it started to rain, and since Ran was in the round, they got rained on. When he realized it was raining he immediately ran from his advantage point on the King of the Hill and ran into one of the open caves. Where they eventually surrendered/forfeited when the rain wouldn't stop.

-Ran is he/they.

-Jackie is basically attached to Ran, almost always seen by him. Ran acts annoyed by this but he secretly enjoys it and doesn't mind.

-Bartholomew is a drunkard of course, but when he's not drunk he is an extremely good fighter albeit easy to knock off balance.

-Genevieve is a mother figure to Jackie, and to Ran but they'd never admit it.

-Ran is actually a good fighter.

-While Ran can teleport he sometimes has problems teleporting accurately. For example if they want to teleport next to a tree, he can end up under a different tree. This is due to his hybrid status which complicates things like teleporting.

-Karl couldn't/cant tell if Watson is Phil or if Watson is a decendant of Phil.

-Porkius isn't directly related to Technoblade (like father son related), Techno is more of a very distant uncle.

-Ran is about 8'7 but is still growing and is the tallest of the group. The second tallest is Porkius at 6'9

-Ran is Ranbobs younger brother

Sorry this includes some elements of a au I have (mainly the letting everyone live) I couldnt help myself. If anyone wants to hear the au im more than happy to share!