#popcornballs

Enjoy the nostalgia of old-fashioned popcorn balls with this simple recipe. Perfect for a sweet and crunchy treat!

Ingredients: 10 cups popped popcorn. 1 cup sugar. 1/3 cup light corn syrup. 1/3 cup unsalted butter. 1/2 teaspoon salt. 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract.

Instructions: In a large bowl, place the popped popcorn. Remove any unpopped kernels. In a saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, corn syrup, butter, and salt. Stir constantly until the mixture comes to a boil. Continue boiling for 4-5 minutes without stirring. Remove the saucepan from heat and stir in vanilla extract. Pour the hot syrup over the popcorn, stirring to coat evenly. Allow the mixture to cool slightly, then grease your hands and shape the popcorn into balls. Place the popcorn balls on wax paper to cool completely and harden.

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

You see where this is going.

“But thesheeark, why didn’t you just take the pot off the stove?”

You see young padawan, I DID. My stove and oven happen to be senile and are, by all political correctness, fucked. The oven decides its own temperature but never high enough, and the stove top has two temperatures: “Is it even on?” and red hot LAVA In seconds. Cooking on stovetop is a delicate art of lifting and setting down the pot repeatedly upon Sauron’s blazing gaze.

So yes, I did take the pot off the stove,

but the pot remained hot.

We began running out of containers quickly, the white volcano of popcorn was ever pouring out while we panicked. The kids and cats, at first delighted in the magic of the moment, soon ran in fear. It was like when you accidentally put dish soap in the dishwasher or laundry, but the bubbles were solid.

For once in the south we knew snow.

In the house where it doesn’t belong.

And it smelled of butter.

We couldn’t just pour it because along with the popcorn was enough butter soup that if we did, it would have ate through the floor or plumbing with the corrosive acidity of xenomorph blood. So I just had to hold the erupting pot until it stopped.

We ate as much as we could, ate to the point of sick, including the animals. We were still surrounded by popcorn.

My neighbors have seen me do many strange things, and I’m sure what we did next was also another mystery. As our whole little unit formed a bucket line from the door, passing buckets of popcorn to each other as the last person poured it over the front lawn. And it just kept coming. I’m sure it was a curious sight, the neighbors were standing outside on their porches watching with perplexed expressions.

We covered the entire front yard in a single layer of popcorn for the birds and animals. We were exhausted by the end and just bagged the popcorn we had left to make the popcorn balls later.

I say this… bc lately I’ve been seeing strange plants in my front yard most unusual. Curious, I left them to grow.