#phstudyblr

June 5, 2023

Yes, finally!!! I can’t believe this day has come. I started to create this studyblr right after I finished my first degree, Accounting Technology. I’ve experience A LOT OF FAILURES trying to pursue BS Accountancy. Most of the people I’ve started this journey with already left the program (whether they simply just stopped, transferred, shifted) I questioned the system of the school, the management, the other misdeeds of my classmates. I also had a lot in mind why this degree requires tremendous efforts, tears when in reality when you go to a BIG 4 you’ll get underpaid in the end. 

I could have stopped pursuing the CPA dream and just live as a normal person who can do still do accounting. But I was possibly too hurt and would feel more hurt if I quit and not attaining anything at all. Of course, my mental health and my relationships with my family & friends were also on the line. It was really hard, it took me a while to finally realize things. 

“Life is unfair and it will always be”

I have resented cheaters who obviously got ahead before me and even the upper management who turn blind eye for all “bad genius” things that happened. I questioned a lot why I have this kind of life wherein I cannot focus 100% of the time because I have a lot of family things to do. It was all “whys” until slowly, I finally realized that the solution to all of my problems will only be solved if I had taken things to a different perspective.

I have realized that there are a lot of things not under my control and I cannot do anything about it. But for things I can manage, I should control it the way I need it to be. 

I realized that studying smart > studying hard. I could study for almost whole day without getting the full gist of what I need to know vs. studying for few hours at my most productive time and fully understanding it more.

I also realized that instead of complaining to my family that I could not do certain things because I need to study or do something else, I should just do it anyway. I managed to maintain my calmness (despite being under the fire sign) because honestly, though it would take time I’d rather do it. I’ve severed more emotional pain arguing with my family rather than just doing it.

I am also (slowly) trying not to give a f*** about everyone. Whether it is my classmate doing unethical things, the head degrading us, my neighbors and relatives who keep on whining “why is this girl not working and still studying???” 

Before, I used to regret why I still tried to enter this tiger cage that I cannot escape out but now I am thankful. Even though it tainted my transcript of record, have putted me on my lowest I am still happy for the fact that I have gained my most trusted friends in this process. I was also able to have a better relationship with my family amidst everything that have happened. Without these hardships, I would not fully understand that the world have different kinds of people and thankfully through this bitter-sweet process that I would carry into the professional world, I would know how to deal with them later on. Also, I was able to like EXO amidst all crazy things that have happened in my Accountancy life. I would not have clicked on that video if I wasn’t in my lowest state. 

James 4:3  “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” I used to have doubts, but maybe if you finally do trust fully what you ask, you will receive. 

contest days ✨

these are some old pics of my room during the contest ~era~ of my last year of high school.

summer break starts now! I don’t want to be unproductive just because it’s our break already. to keep me sane, here are my summer goals for this year:

30 days of learning

30 days of sweat

review anaphy and histology book

read parasitology topics

meet up and catch up with my friends

read more books

study the bible more

j o u r n a l

declutter my digital space

declutter my room

I’m going to try to post more original content this summer so stay tuned!

[ 03/30/18 ]

Holy week is such a short vacation but I have to do a month-worth of paperwork that are due on monday. I was lucky enough to escape studying for a day and went out with my aunt and cousin. Here are some photos from last wednesday afternoon. :)