#cpale

I just feel like I have an accountability to tell this (if anyone's concerned about it)

I am part of the 85.68% of examinees who did not become Certified Public Accountant this October 2019. It took me so long to be here and still not becoming a part of those 14.32% who passed.

There may be a lot of factors but I don't want to point fingers to anyone, not even myself. It's the worst I could do if I would bring myself to the lowest despite everything.

We don't know what's wrong but if there are around 2000+ people who passed out of almost 14500 then it must have been something achievable.

Regardless, I am still waiting for the verification of ratings and hoping at least to be have a conditional status.

Never I have been so firm in my decision in life. I have decided to apply for a job ASAP (regardless whether condi or failed). If condi, I will pursue this May 2020 and if not I'll be taking a rest until I feel okay.

Halos anim na linggo nalang ay lalaban na kayo sa giyera.

Lagi nyong tatandaan, wala kayong ibang kalaban dito kung hindi ang sarili ninyo. Kung papaano nyo maoovercome yung pressure na nararamdaman nyo ngayun. Lahat kayo halos pagdudahan nyo na ang sarili ninyo at sabay sabi: "Nakuuu, malapit na.... Ang DAMI ko pang dapat aralin! 😔" "Bakit parang kakaunti palang ang nalalalaman ko" "Kakayanin ko pa kaya?" Bago mo isipin yan, isipin mo muna kung papaano mo nasurvive yung undergrad mo at nakapaggraduate ka noon sa kabila ng hirap at sakripisyong pinagdaanan mo. Pagkatapos, ngayong malapit na ngayun ka pa ba mapanghihinaan ng loob? Ang dami mo ng nagawa. Kaya pakiusap, lakasan mo ang loob mo lalo!

May mga bagay na wag mo na dapat problemahin, anu ngayon kung marami ang umaasa na papasa ka? Isipin mo, anu man ang maging resulta ay buong puso ka paring mahal ng mga taong sumusuporta sayo tulad ng pamilya at mga kaibigan mo. Susubukan mo lahat hindi dahil sa natatakot kang bumagsak at may masabi ang iba, kung hindi dahil sa ito ang PANGARAP mo!

Natural lang sa ngayon na maramdaman nyo ang kaba habang lumilipas ang mga oras. Hindi ka normal kung hindi ka nakakaram ng pagdududa at takot. Manatili ka lamang na matatag!

Wag mong isipin mga kasama mong nagrereview, "Ay buti pa si ganito, marami ng alam" nakuu! Pareho lang kayo ng iniisip sa bawat isa. Wag mong pakealaman ang ibang kasama mong nagrereview, kanya kanya kayo ng diskarte at timetable! Wala yan sa dami ng handouts o libro na nabasa at nasagutan. Nasa tamang pagiintindi lang. Madalas kasing mangyari ang, "Sa sobrang dami ng inaral, nakalimutan" Ito ang numero unong problema ng mga hindi pinapalad sa CPALE. Marahil ay masyadong nakatutok ang iba sa paramihan ng materials na masagutan at umaabot na sa puntong minememorize nalang at hindi na naiintindihan. Pakiusap, wag na wag nyong gagawin yan! Di bale ng wala kang nasagutan basta ang importante matibay ang pagintindi mo sa konsepto ng accounting standards at laws. Natural lang rin na may mga topics na hindi mo tlga magugustuhan o mahihirapan ka tlga mula umpisa, ngunit ang importante ay kaylangan mong mahalin ang iyong kahinaan at araw araw mo itong labanan. Lagi mong isipin na madali lang, hanggang sa kusa na itong tatatak sa iyong kaisipan at hindi ka na mahihirapan. Tanungin mo ang iyong sarili kung ano na ang iyong progreso sa oras na ito, at planuhin kung papaano mo maikakasya ang natitirang oras.

May magagawa ka pa! Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa iyo ang gawa! Power!

09.16.2020 | for the first time in forever since I came back from Manila, I finally got to finish 1 topic.

Yes, finally!!! I can’t believe this day has come. I started to create this studyblr right after I finished my first degree, Accounting Technology. I’ve experience A LOT OF FAILURES trying to pursue BS Accountancy. Most of the people I’ve started this journey with already left the program (whether they simply just stopped, transferred, shifted) I questioned the system of the school, the management, the other misdeeds of my classmates. I also had a lot in mind why this degree requires tremendous efforts, tears when in reality when you go to a BIG 4 you’ll get underpaid in the end. 

I could have stopped pursuing the CPA dream and just live as a normal person who can do still do accounting. But I was possibly too hurt and would feel more hurt if I quit and not attaining anything at all. Of course, my mental health and my relationships with my family & friends were also on the line. It was really hard, it took me a while to finally realize things. 

“Life is unfair and it will always be”

I have resented cheaters who obviously got ahead before me and even the upper management who turn blind eye for all “bad genius” things that happened. I questioned a lot why I have this kind of life wherein I cannot focus 100% of the time because I have a lot of family things to do. It was all “whys” until slowly, I finally realized that the solution to all of my problems will only be solved if I had taken things to a different perspective.

I have realized that there are a lot of things not under my control and I cannot do anything about it. But for things I can manage, I should control it the way I need it to be. 

I realized that studying smart > studying hard. I could study for almost whole day without getting the full gist of what I need to know vs. studying for few hours at my most productive time and fully understanding it more.

I also realized that instead of complaining to my family that I could not do certain things because I need to study or do something else, I should just do it anyway. I managed to maintain my calmness (despite being under the fire sign) because honestly, though it would take time I’d rather do it. I’ve severed more emotional pain arguing with my family rather than just doing it.

I am also (slowly) trying not to give a f*** about everyone. Whether it is my classmate doing unethical things, the head degrading us, my neighbors and relatives who keep on whining “why is this girl not working and still studying???” 

Before, I used to regret why I still tried to enter this tiger cage that I cannot escape out but now I am thankful. Even though it tainted my transcript of record, have putted me on my lowest I am still happy for the fact that I have gained my most trusted friends in this process. I was also able to have a better relationship with my family amidst everything that have happened. Without these hardships, I would not fully understand that the world have different kinds of people and thankfully through this bitter-sweet process that I would carry into the professional world, I would know how to deal with them later on. Also, I was able to like EXO amidst all crazy things that have happened in my Accountancy life. I would not have clicked on that video if I wasn’t in my lowest state. 

James 4:3  “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” I used to have doubts, but maybe if you finally do trust fully what you ask, you will receive. 

As most of you know, results are unfavorable.

Life must go on though. As of the moment I have no drive to do anything (that involves my hobbies and interests for some unknown reason).

Day of results

I didn't feel anything when I randomly woke up at dawn. I was nervous before I open the site but didn't feel anything when I saw that my name wasn't there. I knew that wasn't normal.

When I told my mom about it, the reaction was normal "okay". When my dad got home from work later that afternoon, arguments got heated. We're all good now, don't worry. But that's when I started to break down.

Next few days

I was just being plain lazy. I complied to everything we need at home though. Did basic household chores, yet I still cannot clean up all of my handouts I used for the review. On my free time I just read CPA success stories, rants about failure, and some drama going on Accouting Coach facebook group. I also talked to few individuals and asked for advice on what should I do. I know for now I could go for a full time review. I needed a job. I decided to go to one of big 4 fims. I texted my contact there and sent an email to the HR.

Just that night before, it took me hours to update and fix my CV. I searched about the firm and basic interview questions.

But there's one thing I failed to prepare: the employment exam. It was not an Accounting exam. I've been only studying accounting, auditing, taxation, advisory and law subjects for a long time. It seems like my knowledge on basic english (like synonyms) and on other basic stuff has been kind of rusty. I don't know if I did well on that. I wasn't able to be interviewed since the firm will have Halloween Party on that afternoon.

I'm still gathering all of my options now and planning to apply to other 2 big 4 firms.

On other days, I went to the mall to get a package, went out for grocery with my family and did some medical check-ups & laboratory tests.