A year later.
I came across my previous blog entry today and smiled.
Because the funny thing about imposter syndrome is that it makes predictions with so much confidence and then turns out to be wrong.
Back then, I genuinely believed I wasn't good enough. I kept questioning if I was in the right room.
I thought everyone else was smarter. I thought I had fallen behind. I thought being humbled meant I wasn't capable.
A year later, I finished my first year of graduate school with flat uno grades. It wasn't because I suddenly became a genius overnight. Not because the doubts magically disappeared.
But because I kept showing up. I attended classes. I read the materials.I wrote research papers. I participated in discussions.
I kept going, even on days when I felt inadequate.
The lesson wasn't that I was secretly exceptional all along. The lesson was that growth often feels like incompetence while it's happening. Sometimes, you're not failing. You're just learning.
And sometimes, the person who doubts themselves the most is also the person working the hardest.
So to the version of me who wrote that a year ago:
Thank you for not quitting. You were right about one thing.
Your time did come. And it came because you stayed.
