#phd thesis

Want to be more active on Tumblr now that I'm writing my thesis chapters. I find myself gravitating towards Tumblr's authenticity rather than content exaggeration of other platforms.

And how your voice is an ‘invisible’ skill or aspect of this position, never once brought up by anyone I’ve ever spoken to about starting their doctorate, never on the list for getting into grad school.

How, for me personally, if I hadn’t trained as a therapist or hadn’t gone to therapy during my masters to take advantage of applying my learning to my own life, I wouldn’t have known or practiced how to distinguish and ask for what I need - feedback, a listening ear, reassurance, brainstorming, encouragement, poke holes in it with me - or been brave enough to ask for it.

How that would hinder my ability to move independently as a researcher; how I could imagine leaving supervisions with disappointment or without what I might have needed that week because I would have deferred to someone else’s voice over my own.

How if I didn’t know my own communication style, or aware of my own hurts that come up from conversations had in my past, I would have to spend so much time managing my own emotions related to relationships with my colleagues following conservations.

What the opportunity cost would be for my research if I spent hours and energy on that instead of reading or writing.

It is strange to think about a dissertation being a creation, in the art sense, as in, right now, it purely lives inside my brain and some day will be 100+ pages and exist outside of my body. But there’s vulnerability in this thing being my creation, a product of my brain.

And to develop that creation and share it with people requires so much understanding of my own voice.

Of knowing when parts of my creation feel tender and not ready to have someone challenge or when I feel confident in my ability to communicate it effectively to have someone provide me with feedback without feeling misunderstood.

I'm chronically horrible at responding to asks, so this is coming later than you probably expected!

For context, I'm now a second year PhD art history student about to take her doctoral (comprehensive) exams in April. I applied for PhD programs during the last semester of my master's program, which was a terminal degree through a different university than the one I currently attend.

I applied to two PhD programs in the United States and two in the United Kingdom: the processes are different, particularly when it comes to funding. The former will automatically consider you for funding and it's expected, at least in the humanities, that they will grant you tuition remission and a stipend for at least four years (potentially more, depending on your particular program). It's also possible to win additional fellowships, either through your university or a third party. For example, I have departmental funding (ie. a stipend that I receive for being a Graduate Assistant) and an outside fellowship from my university's Graduate School. My department applied for that fellowship on my behalf before I even enrolled. The other American university to which I applied also offered me tuition remission and a stipend, but it was less than the university I currently attend.

Two general notes about funding in the United States: (1) it often changes to account for rising cost of living but that does not necessarily mean you will be making a living wage, and (2) it often changes depending on whether your school has a Union. Graduate workers at my university are currently working to unionize, which would not only guarantee a living wage for union members but also offer protections for international students and student parents. There are a lot of benefits but the TLDR for funding is that unionizing often means the difference between $28,000 and $45,000 yearly stipend (see this article from the Boston Herald about BU's graduate student union). Graduate Assistants are often not allowed to hold a second job outside of the university and it's also difficult to do so when you are (a) working, (b) completing coursework, and (c) independently researching. My museum fellowship, which I'm due to begin in a couple days, jeopardized my funding status and I had to fight my university for them not to take away my fellowship. It ultimately worked out because I had my department chair's support but not all students are similarly supported—and not all departments are willing to advocate for their students.

Pivoting to UK schools: the TLDR is that they offer very little funding for international students and the funding that is available, either through the institutions themselves or outside organizations, is often not enough to cover the cost of living. Tuition is largely cheaper than in America but the difference was not significant enough for it to factor into my decision. If you're interested in more detail, I'd recommend reaching out to @therepublicofletters who actually attends a UK institution. She can also tell you more about how their programs are structured. Unlike American PhD programs—which involve at least two years of coursework, doctoral exams, and graduate assistantships before defending your prospectus and beginning dissertation research—UK programs ask you to apply with a prospectus that you will use as the basis for dissertation research that you begin immediately upon entry. The difference is that American programs typically take 5-7 years to complete whereas UK ones are only 3-4 years. While this may seem convenient in the short term, I was advised that American institutions (museums, universities, etc) often prefer PhDs from American institutions because of the extra work completed.

Setting aside this technical information, I chose the four programs to which I applied based on vibes. I had a master list of schools and advisors and I contacted each one to see if we fit in terms of academic interests and personalities. I did not want to work with an advisor I didn't like and who didn't like me—or who had so many students that they had no time for me. Aside from speaking with them personally, I also reached out to their current advisees: students will often give you a more honest perspective on faculty and the department as a whole. I would almost lend more weight to what the students say than any of the professors because they are and/or will be your peers. They are also the people who will give you the most honest information about how professors and the department view students of color, women, queer students, etc. Art history and the humanities are fairly white, straight, and male dominated, so it's important to get a read on how non-normative (for lack of a better collective term) individuals are treated. I used this information to narrow down my master list to four schools, each of which I would be happy to attend. Whether I was admitted to one or to all four, I would have a place to go where I would be content and able to find community.

This is a personal note but something to consider when it comes to advisors is gender. That should not be a determining factor but I realized after committing to my current school that this is the first time I've worked with a male advisor. I love him dearly and he is one of the most encouraging scholars I have met but there have been occasions where there is a disconnect based on life experience. That said, I know many people who have had no issues at all!

Throughout this whole process, the name value of the schools was functionally irrelevant. In my experience—and that of the numerous individuals who advised me during the application process—your advisor is far more important than your school. While this will necessarily vary by discipline, you want to work with someone who has connections and/or knows how to network. For example, an older scholar will likely know everyone and their mother whereas a younger scholar will know fewer people but likely be more present at conferences, etc.

In the end, what matters most is your happiness and stability. Will you like working with your chosen advisor? Will you like taking classes in other disciplines within your department? Will you be able to make friends and/or have civil relationships with other graduate students (ie. will people steal books you need because they know you need them, like at Columbia)? Can you afford to live in whatever city in which you school is located? Are they paying you a living wage and/or offering you alternate opportunities to apply for funding?

I chose my school based on the graduate community, my advisors (I now have two), and the funding package. There have been incidental issues that I could not have anticipated, but on the whole, I do not regret my decision because I prioritized my happiness when I was applying and did not make decisions based on what I thought other people would want. This is a huge commitment and you need to be self-motivated, to rely on your love of the subject, to make it through the hard times.

My last bit of advice, which I received from my undergraduate advisor: don't go into debt for art history! If a program isn't paying you and/or isn't paying you enough, then they're not worth your time. Know your worth and ask for what you deserve, never be afraid to negotiate funding.