#peppermay

pretend twitter is still twitter. x never happened.

tony and rhodey

pepper and may

happy and correctavengers

bonus: this guy (ew)

Title: First Impressions Can Be Misleading Square filled: Flower Shop AU (I2) for @marvelousrarepairbingo Card number: 043 Name: Archi (weigheddownbyfandoms // coffee_and_notebooks) Relationship: May Parker/Pepper Potts Warnings: None Rating: General Link: N/A Summary: “You know,” May says into the darkness. “The first few times you came into the shop, I thought you were some sort of player.”

“What?! Why?!” Pepper splutters. “Can women even be called players?” She adds as an afterthought.

“Don’t know really. But you always came in, asking for five or more bouquets, and I immediately was like, nope, not getting involved. Guess that didn’t work out,” she says fondly.

“What made you change your mind?”

“I volunteer at the nursing home. I went one day and recognized all the bouquets on everyone’s bedside tables.”

Rhodey turns around oh his chair to glare at him, “this will not end well, will it?” 

“No, I promise this favor is fine,” Tony assures him, then pauses, “well, no, it’s weird, but it’s more mild. Completely harmless. I mean relatively speaking... Yeah.”

Rhodey squints in him, “alright spill.” 

“I told Pepper we were dating.”

Rhodey was not expecting that, “why on earth would you do that?” 

“Well, me and May were talking and apparently she’s dating Pepper now, which I did not know because Peter is a traitor. I probably had a look on my face so she asked me if I was ok so I panicked and said I was dating someone. Then Pepper called me and asked me who I was dating and I said you. Because... well, I don’t really have a reason, but anyway she asked for us to double date and I agreed. So...” 

Rhodey, already used to Tony’s ramblings, sighs and completes his sentence, “so you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend for an afternoon?” 

“Yeah,” Tony says, with a guilty look on his face, “and then I was thinking maybe I could break up with you. So I don’t seem completely unloveable. Or maybe that makes it seem like I’m scared of commitment? Alright then maybe it could be mutual. Like with me and Pep.” 

Rhodey gave a noncommittal “uh-huh” sound, knowing how many nights Tony spent crying over how he would never get to touch Pepper’s soft hair again. 

He though of what Tony was asking him to do. His heart told him it was a really stupid idea; he was in love with Tony since MIT, and it would probably break his heart to see what it was like to be with Tony for a day, only to look up and see him pining and jealous over Pepper. His mind told a different story; he was pretty good at hiding his crush on Tony, and they were pretty affectionate to begin with. It wouldn’t be that different. His friend really needed his help. How hard could it be? 

“Alright, fine,” Rhodey agreed and Tony beamed at him. 

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, honeybear! I swear I’ll make it up to you by being the best boyfriend you ever had. Or. The only one, I guess. I just- thank you,” and Tony kissed his cheek. 

After Tony left, Rhodey unconsciously pressed two fingers onto the spot on his cheek were Tony pressed his lips to. Then he groaned. 

Oh, this was going to be torture. 

~~~

Pepper and May seemed like a really good couple. They smiled at each other from time to time, laughed at inside jokes and touched each other’s shoulders or brushed hands nearly at all times. As they sat down to eat, May’s hand reflectively begun stroking Pepper’s arm. It stung a bit. He thought Pepper didn’t like PDA. 

Rhodey and Tony tried to find their own rhythm as a couple, but it was a bit stiff. The only romantic touch they did that didn’t make Tony want to crawl out of his skin was Rhodey settling a hand on his lower back. Touching romantically just felt wrong. As if it wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Thankfully, they still had their own inside jokes and Tony’s nicknames, so they weren’t that far from believable. They knew each other well enough, and they took of each other well enough, to pass as a couple. Plus, Tony could brag about the fact they lived together to Pepper. Take that keys Pepper and May exchanged.

“You know, when you told me you and Jim got together I was a little surprised but I don’t really get why,” Pepper said out of the blue. 

“What d’ya mean, Pep?” Tony asked. 

“Well, I always thought there was something going on between you. The way Jim used to look at you and the way you used to crave Jim’s attention. It was probably part of the reason why you and I didn’t get together sooner. That and the fact that you were my boss.” 

Rhodey and Tony suddenly didn’t look at each other. Rhodey retracted his hand from Tony’s back. They were both blushing. Tony didn’t expect to be exposed about his old crush on Rhodey when he signed up for this. 

Thankfully, May noticed the tension and changed the subject. But Tony and Rhodey didn’t even bother acting like a couple again. 

~~~

Later, they both settled in for a movie, and Tony decided to address the elephant in the room. “So, you used to have crush on me, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Rhodey admitted, “but what Pepper was talking about, that was a long time ago.” 

Tony couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed. “Yeah,” Tony repeated after Rhodey, “no lingering feelings on both sides, right?” 

“Right,” Rhodey agreed. 

But Rhodey wasn’t looking at him. Could it maybe be that...? 

Tony let his head drop on Rhodey’s shoulder. At first, Rhodey tensed, his shoulders squaring, but then he relaxed, let it happen, leaned his forehead against Tony’s head. “This is really unfair, you know, with me having trouble moving away.” 

Tony looked his right in the eye, titling Rhodey’s chin with his finger to get to stare into the eyes he fell in love with all the way back in MIT. “Are you complaining?” 

“Hey there,” he coos, squatting down a few feet away in order to avoid startling her. She eyes him warily, and he holds his hands up, hoping it might earn him some trust. “I’m not gonna hurt you. Promise.”

Behind him, one of the muggers starts to tease him, saying something about how the supposed powerful Spider-Man going soft for a stray cat. Without looking, Peter aims behind him and fires a web to cover his mind, only glancing over to make sure he aimed right and that the guy can still breathe through his nose. The second mugger is looking at the first one incredulously, and then murmurs an offended, “Dude, I have a cat. You know I have a cat. My cat loves you. Why would you say that shit, man?”

Peter ignores him. Turns back to the kitten and asks, “You think I might be able to pet you, sweetie?”

It takes multiple minutes of gentle coaxing and soft words that he knows that cat doesn’t understand, but eventually he’s got the little furball in his arms, a little pouch of web on his chest that he nestles the kitten in, and he swing slow and careful back to his apartment.

He thinks he might name her Penny, because her eyes look like little pennies, and then they can kind of match. Peter Parker and his cat, Penny Parker, against the world.

All he has to do is convince Harry to keep her.

I have also grown fond of these Chaotic Dumbasses. For reference, Peter was four in the original story here and he is now seven.

Maria learns about Pepper and Tony going to the human realm when, during the Spring Ball, Sarah had asked her where Tony was, because Steve wouldn’t tell her and they really needed to decide what season the wedding would be, because Maria was a Winter Fae, Howard had been from a Summer court, and the Rogers held Spring Court. “Wedding,” Maria repeats, trying not to show off how surprised she is. “What wedding? What do you mean Steven won’t tell you where he is?” “Uh,” Sarah says. “Steve tells me he left sweet peas and chrysanthemums on Tony’s porch, and that’s how we declare our intentions, so...” “What the fuck is a porch?!” Maria sputters. Sarah has never been more terrified in her life. Maria has always been cool, calm, and collected--any anger she felt was carefully hidden behind a smile until she could get revenge privately, because she considered public chastising ‘gauche.’ It’s a well-known fact that Maria is not to be trifled with, both in the Seelie and Unseelie courts. So she’s isn’t going to be the fucking idiot who lies to her. “It’s a human thing, I think?” “A human thing,” Maria repeats, voice devoid of emotion. Sarah does not cringe, but barely. “Yes. A human thing.” “ANTHONY EDWARD STARK,” Maria rages, releasing a surge of magic, and every fae at court makes the conscious decision to forget they heard his full name, because if there was one thing more dangerous than a Queen of Court’s ire, it was knowing her child’s name. Tony drops the basket of vegetables he’d been carrying and clutches his chest, bending over with a whimper. “Oh.” “Tony?” May asks in concern, setting her own basket down to grab him so he doesn’t just keel over. “My mother just walked over my grave,” Tony whispers. “Save yourself.”

“You guys have been here for three years, certainly Tony’s mother would have noticed sooner?” May asks as she packs a suitcase. “Time is different for us,” Pepper begins mysteriously, and then grimaces. “Also Tony avoids court events like the plague so Maria sort of expects him not to come.” “Sounds like Tony,” May agrees reluctantly. Steve appears beside them between one breath and the next, looking pale. “She’s coming.” “So,” Tony says grimly. “This is how I die.” “Your mother’s not going to kill you, Tony,” May scoffs. When the other two fae look uncertain, she firmly repeats, “She’s not going to kill you.” “Well, I mean, we left out realm without a word to her, went gallivanting about with humans, and now Tony has gotten engaged without any of the proper courting that is expected for a fae Queen’s son,” Pepper points out. “It would be a miracle for her to choose not to kill him. And me,” she adds thoughtfully. “May please pack faster we really need to get out of here before Tony’s mother arrives.” “Aunt May!” Peter says cheerfully. “I got my bag packed and put it in the car and this really pretty lady asked me if Pepper and Tony lived here and I said yes!” “FUCK!” May exclaims as Pepper and Steve immediately faint. She should honestly just leave them there for Maria to kill. They’d deserve it.

Maria Stark is as beautiful as Peter had said. She also grabs Tony by the throat as soon as she sees him. “You have embarrassed me in front of the other courts,” she seethes. “Yes,” Tony agrees, choking. “WHAT THE FUCK,” May exclaims when she sees this. She looks around, spots the broom, and grabs it, turning to wallop Maria in the head with it. “PUT HIM DOWN GOD FUCK YOU FAE I HATE YOU YOU’RE SO STUPID.” “Hit her again!” Peter cheers, bouncing behind May. Maria has been chased down by humans with a variety of weapons, but a broom has never been one of them, and she can’t decide if she’s offended or impressed. She settles on deciding later, instead setting Tony down and grabbing the broom. It immediately withers to dust in her hands. “I just trained that broom,” Tony says sadly. “Tony,” Maria says, voice as hard as steel. “You will be returning home with me immediately.” Tony turns to look up from the broom-dust, surprised. Then his face does something terrible, and he sneers and says, “I will not.” “Tony,” Maria snarls. “I hate it there!” Tony snarls back. Suddenly Maria doesn’t look as ethereal, as deadly--now she just looks surprised, as if she was just a regular human mother who had been told that her son didn’t like the piano lessons she’d insisted upon. “What do you mean, you hate it there?” “Nobody likes me there!” Tony snaps. “They pretend to, sure, but only because they’re afraid of me! Or worse, they’re afraid of you. The Rogers’ court were the only ones who weren’t intimidated by me, and I thought maybe I’d found somewhere I could belong where people wouldn’t treat me differently. Then I accidentally offended them, and I was told in no uncertain terms not to come back! What was I supposed to do? Come back to your court and be miserable? Pepper was my only friend there and she was leaving! She was the only one who cared about how I felt! So I followed her here, and it’s the best choice I’ve ever made! I haven’t even said yes to Steve yet, and do you know why?” “I’m sure I don’t,” Maria says softly, because she’s coming to realize she doesn’t know her son at all. “Because I know if I say yes, he’ll want me to come back to the fae, and I don’t want that! I don’t want to go back where people don’t like me!” Tony exclaims, tears glistening in his eyes. “Tony,” Steve and Pepper say from the doorway, feeling as if he’s just ripped their hearts out. Peter pushes past May and looks up at him sadly. “Me and Aunt May like you, Tony.” “I know,” Tony chokes out, and then he leans down to scoop Peter up into a hug and walks out onto the porch so he can sit on the swinging bench there. Maria stares after him, stricken, then disappears between one breath and the next. Steve and Pepper are quick to follow, there one moment and gone the next. May stares at where the fae had been, then silently walks out onto the porch to sit down beside Tony and wrap her arm around him.

May had known, of course, that Tony had been... hurt. It shone through when he least expected it to, like when he was out scolding his plants, or babysitting Peter, or after a happy couple were bickering over which veggies to get for dinner. He would stand there, and sigh, and his shoulders would drop, as if to say ‘this is the best I’ll ever get--and I should be happy with it.’ But she’d thought, perhaps foolishly, that Tony was getting better. So with the knowledge that he hadn’t, Tony had just gotten better at hiding it, she arrives early to farmers market and tells everyone that Tony is considering moving to a different market because a rich ‘Karen’ type had told him he was cute. Underhanded? Perhaps. But she learned from her girlfriend how to manipulate people for good. “You’re so nice, Tony, we love having you here,” Clint says, and Tony blinks at him in bewilderment even as he sneaks another box of cherry tomatoes into Clint’s bag because Lucky loves cherry tomatoes. “I’m so grateful for you lending an ear whenever I’m trying to puzzle out my next step in my thesis, Tony,” Bruce tells him, and takes his hand and gives it a squeeze, and Tony just smiles back shyly. “You’re so good at what you do, Tony, and your face lights up so beautifully whenever you talk to people about what they’re going to make with your produce,” Thor praises. “I didn’t like very many vegetables before, and you’ve singlehandedly made me enjoy eating them. You’re a treasure.” Tony blushes and covers his cheeks and pretends he doesn’t see Loki putting another box of green tomatoes in their bag. “I like you,” Natasha says simply, and when Tony’s face goes all scrunched up, trying not to cry, she sets down the bag of zucchini loaf she’d made for him and walks around the table to bring him into a hug. May is pretty proud of herself, because Tony seems to bloom under the praise, and his smile looks a little more genuine with each person. She’s just about to ask Tony if he wants her to relieve him so he can go walk off some nervous energy or get some lunch or something all of the sudden the hair on the back of her neck stands on end, and she whips around to see a family standing in front of Tony’s booth, and Tony looks quietly terrified. “Can I help you?” May asks, stepping up beside him, and he grabs her hand and squeezes. “We just wanted to see who the new fae is,” one of the men says, and May is immediately disgruntled. If this is a pissing contest or they tell Tony he needs to leave, she’s throwing the entire goddamn table at them. The matron seems to sense this, and holds her hand out to May in amusement. “Roberta Rhodes. Don’t worry, dear, we left court life long ago. Didn’t agree with me.” “I’m May,” May replies magnanimously, taking her hand. “And this is Tony Stark.” “Tony Stark?!” Roberta sputters, and then gives Tony another up-and-down. Then she laughs and laughs, and walks away still laughing, followed by the rest of her family. May stares after her, frowning in concern. “What the hell was that?” “Mama and Maria Stark were what humans call ‘frenemies,’” the remaining fae explains, looking amused, and holds his hand out as well. “James. Or Jim, I’m not picky.” He turns a smile on Tony. “If I know my mama, and I do, she’s gonna tell everyone that you’re under her protection just because she knows it’ll piss your mom off.” Somehow, Tony looks delighted by this. “Would you like to come to dinner?” May asks sweetly. “May for the love of frogs will you STOP INVITING FAE TO THINGS SO YOU DON’T GET FUCKING CURSED,” Tony snarls, turning toward her. Jim laughs.

tony/strange

pepper/may

pepper/nat

tony/bucky

ned/peter

ned/betty

Ironstrange (Stephen/Tony):

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell 

Peppermay (pepper/May):

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell 

Pepper/Nat:

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell 

WinterIron (Tony/Bucky):

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell 

Interweb:

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell 

Ned/Betty (MCU not comics cause comic this ship is just sad and poor Betty):

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell