If you are still taking asks for your 5 headcanons, could we get some Immortal AU with PepperMay + Stony please? đ
I have also grown fond of these Chaotic Dumbasses. For reference, Peter was four in the original story here and he is now seven.
Maria learns about Pepper and Tony going to the human realm when, during the Spring Ball, Sarah had asked her where Tony was, because Steve wouldnât tell her and they really needed to decide what season the wedding would be, because Maria was a Winter Fae, Howard had been from a Summer court, and the Rogers held Spring Court.
âWedding,â Maria repeats, trying not to show off how surprised she is. âWhat wedding? What do you mean Steven wonât tell you where he is?â
âUh,â Sarah says. âSteve tells me he left sweet peas and chrysanthemums on Tonyâs porch, and thatâs how we declare our intentions, so...â
âWhat the fuck is a porch?!â Maria sputters.
Sarah has never been more terrified in her life. Maria has always been cool, calm, and collected--any anger she felt was carefully hidden behind a smile until she could get revenge privately, because she considered public chastising âgauche.â Itâs a well-known fact that Maria is not to be trifled with, both in the Seelie and Unseelie courts.
So sheâs isnât going to be the fucking idiot who lies to her. âItâs a human thing, I think?â
âA human thing,â Maria repeats, voice devoid of emotion.
Sarah does not cringe, but barely. âYes. A human thing.â
âANTHONY EDWARD STARK,â Maria rages, releasing a surge of magic, and every fae at court makes the conscious decision to forget they heard his full name, because if there was one thing more dangerous than a Queen of Courtâs ire, it was knowing her childâs name.
Tony drops the basket of vegetables heâd been carrying and clutches his chest, bending over with a whimper. âOh.â
âTony?â May asks in concern, setting her own basket down to grab him so he doesnât just keel over.
âMy mother just walked over my grave,â Tony whispers. âSave yourself.â
âYou guys have been here for three years, certainly Tonyâs mother would have noticed sooner?â May asks as she packs a suitcase.
âTime is different for us,â Pepper begins mysteriously, and then grimaces. âAlso Tony avoids court events like the plague so Maria sort of expects him not to come.â
âSounds like Tony,â May agrees reluctantly.
Steve appears beside them between one breath and the next, looking pale. âSheâs coming.â
âSo,â Tony says grimly. âThis is how I die.â
âYour motherâs not going to kill you, Tony,â May scoffs. When the other two fae look uncertain, she firmly repeats, âSheâs not going to kill you.â
âWell, I mean, we left out realm without a word to her, went gallivanting about with humans, and now Tony has gotten engaged without any of the proper courting that is expected for a fae Queenâs son,â Pepper points out. âIt would be a miracle for her to choose not to kill him. And me,â she adds thoughtfully. âMay please pack faster we really need to get out of here before Tonyâs mother arrives.â
âAunt May!â Peter says cheerfully. âI got my bag packed and put it in the car and this really pretty lady asked me if Pepper and Tony lived here and I said yes!â
âFUCK!â May exclaims as Pepper and Steve immediately faint. She should honestly just leave them there for Maria to kill. Theyâd deserve it.
Maria Stark is as beautiful as Peter had said. She also grabs Tony by the throat as soon as she sees him.
âYou have embarrassed me in front of the other courts,â she seethes.
âYes,â Tony agrees, choking.
âWHAT THE FUCK,â May exclaims when she sees this. She looks around, spots the broom, and grabs it, turning to wallop Maria in the head with it. âPUT HIM DOWN GOD FUCK YOU FAE I HATE YOU YOUâRE SO STUPID.â
âHit her again!â Peter cheers, bouncing behind May.
Maria has been chased down by humans with a variety of weapons, but a broom has never been one of them, and she canât decide if sheâs offended or impressed. She settles on deciding later, instead setting Tony down and grabbing the broom. It immediately withers to dust in her hands.
âI just trained that broom,â Tony says sadly.
âTony,â Maria says, voice as hard as steel. âYou will be returning home with me immediately.â
Tony turns to look up from the broom-dust, surprised. Then his face does something terrible, and he sneers and says, âI will not.â
âTony,â Maria snarls.
âI hate it there!â Tony snarls back.
Suddenly Maria doesnât look as ethereal, as deadly--now she just looks surprised, as if she was just a regular human mother who had been told that her son didnât like the piano lessons sheâd insisted upon. âWhat do you mean, you hate it there?â
âNobody likes me there!â Tony snaps. âThey pretend to, sure, but only because theyâre afraid of me! Or worse, theyâre afraid of you. The Rogersâ court were the only ones who werenât intimidated by me, and I thought maybe Iâd found somewhere I could belong where people wouldnât treat me differently. Then I accidentally offended them, and I was told in no uncertain terms not to come back! What was I supposed to do? Come back to your court and be miserable? Pepper was my only friend there and she was leaving! She was the only one who cared about how I felt! So I followed her here, and itâs the best choice Iâve ever made! I havenât even said yes to Steve yet, and do you know why?â
âIâm sure I donât,â Maria says softly, because sheâs coming to realize she doesnât know her son at all.
âBecause I know if I say yes, heâll want me to come back to the fae, and I donât want that! I donât want to go back where people donât like me!â Tony exclaims, tears glistening in his eyes.
âTony,â Steve and Pepper say from the doorway, feeling as if heâs just ripped their hearts out.
Peter pushes past May and looks up at him sadly. âMe and Aunt May like you, Tony.â
âI know,â Tony chokes out, and then he leans down to scoop Peter up into a hug and walks out onto the porch so he can sit on the swinging bench there.
Maria stares after him, stricken, then disappears between one breath and the next. Steve and Pepper are quick to follow, there one moment and gone the next.
May stares at where the fae had been, then silently walks out onto the porch to sit down beside Tony and wrap her arm around him.
May had known, of course, that Tony had been... hurt. It shone through when he least expected it to, like when he was out scolding his plants, or babysitting Peter, or after a happy couple were bickering over which veggies to get for dinner. He would stand there, and sigh, and his shoulders would drop, as if to say âthis is the best Iâll ever get--and I should be happy with it.â But sheâd thought, perhaps foolishly, that Tony was getting better.
So with the knowledge that he hadnât, Tony had just gotten better at hiding it, she arrives early to farmers market and tells everyone that Tony is considering moving to a different market because a rich âKarenâ type had told him he was cute. Underhanded? Perhaps. But she learned from her girlfriend how to manipulate people for good.
âYouâre so nice, Tony, we love having you here,â Clint says, and Tony blinks at him in bewilderment even as he sneaks another box of cherry tomatoes into Clintâs bag because Lucky loves cherry tomatoes.
âIâm so grateful for you lending an ear whenever Iâm trying to puzzle out my next step in my thesis, Tony,â Bruce tells him, and takes his hand and gives it a squeeze, and Tony just smiles back shyly.
âYouâre so good at what you do, Tony, and your face lights up so beautifully whenever you talk to people about what theyâre going to make with your produce,â Thor praises. âI didnât like very many vegetables before, and youâve singlehandedly made me enjoy eating them. Youâre a treasure.â Tony blushes and covers his cheeks and pretends he doesnât see Loki putting another box of green tomatoes in their bag.
âI like you,â Natasha says simply, and when Tonyâs face goes all scrunched up, trying not to cry, she sets down the bag of zucchini loaf sheâd made for him and walks around the table to bring him into a hug.
May is pretty proud of herself, because Tony seems to bloom under the praise, and his smile looks a little more genuine with each person. Sheâs just about to ask Tony if he wants her to relieve him so he can go walk off some nervous energy or get some lunch or something all of the sudden the hair on the back of her neck stands on end, and she whips around to see a family standing in front of Tonyâs booth, and Tony looks quietly terrified.
âCan I help you?â May asks, stepping up beside him, and he grabs her hand and squeezes.
âWe just wanted to see who the new fae is,â one of the men says, and May is immediately disgruntled. If this is a pissing contest or they tell Tony he needs to leave, sheâs throwing the entire goddamn table at them.
The matron seems to sense this, and holds her hand out to May in amusement. âRoberta Rhodes. Donât worry, dear, we left court life long ago. Didnât agree with me.â
âIâm May,â May replies magnanimously, taking her hand. âAnd this is Tony Stark.â
âTony Stark?!â Roberta sputters, and then gives Tony another up-and-down. Then she laughs and laughs, and walks away still laughing, followed by the rest of her family.
May stares after her, frowning in concern. âWhat the hell was that?â
âMama and Maria Stark were what humans call âfrenemies,ââ the remaining fae explains, looking amused, and holds his hand out as well. âJames. Or Jim, Iâm not picky.â He turns a smile on Tony. âIf I know my mama, and I do, sheâs gonna tell everyone that youâre under her protection just because she knows itâll piss your mom off.â
Somehow, Tony looks delighted by this.
âWould you like to come to dinner?â May asks sweetly.
âMay for the love of frogs will you STOP INVITING FAE TO THINGS SO YOU DONâT GET FUCKING CURSED,â Tony snarls, turning toward her.
Jim laughs.
May is glad she invited Jim to dinner.
âFUCKING BLEW OUT MY KITCHEN WALL?!â Tony screeches at Pepper, Steve, and Jim.
âTony needs to put a quarter in the swear jar,â Peter points out to May.
She motions his attention back at his food. âEat your supper.â
âTHIS IS MY HOUSE I CAN HAVE GUESTS! SOMETIMES THEYâRE FAE!â Tony screeches at them, then turns to his wall again. âMY FUCKING WALL!!!!!â
âIâll build it back,â Steve offers.
âTHIS UPSETS MY HERBS! I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT! THEYâRE SENSITIVE!â Tony continues, and the other fae wince when they look at the herbs and see them wilting.
May is almost certain that the herbs are hamming it up, because it seemed like theyâd been watching the spectacle in interest only moments before.
âWeâll apologize to the herbs,â Pepper offers.
âYEAH YOU BETTER IF YOU WANT CHIVES IN YOUR--â Tony gasps in horror when he turns and finds the chive pot broken in half, soil spilling out. âMy chives!!!â
Jim walks over and cups his hands around the pot, which promptly forms itself back into one piece. âSorry,â he tells the chives, which perk up happily.
âTony,â Steve says grimly. âIâm taking out your other kitchen wall.â
âWhat the fuck--â Tony sputters, before Steve lets out bone-jarring noise and tackles Jim through it.
âWHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY KITCHEN I COOK IN HERE!!!â Tony snarls, and then yelps when he sees the fight moving toward his tomato plants, scampering out after them. âYOU STAY AWAY FROM MY TOMATOES YOU MONSTERS!â
âWhat have you done,â Pepper asks after a moment.
âSheâs cheering up Tony!â Peter answers happily. âDidnât you see how happy he was?â
Well, he was livelier than heâd been in a while, Pepper had to agree. âIâm still blaming you for the walls,â she says.
May shrugs, unbothered. âSteve will fix them.â