jimon + 'you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life’ au (only if u like it if not just ignore me sorry !!)
sjdsjdjsdjs i love this prompt i’m sorry it took me so long to answer. also i think this derailed a bit but i was having too much fun constructing an entire au in my head for this world, so.
“Hmm.” A voice echoes from above Simon. “This isn’t what I expected.” Simon freezes, his fingers tightly gripping the window ledge as a handsome and strangely familiar blonde wrapped up in a form-fitting grey sweater leans out the window.
“This isn’t what it looks like.” Simon says quickly, and then groans because it’s probably the most suspicious thing he’s ever said. In his ear, Clary is furiously whispering through his earpiece for him to get out, drop down and extract yourself, what do you think you’re doing, Simon -
“No?” The blonde asks, a delighted smile crossing his face. “It looks like you were about to break into my apartment.”
“Well, I wasn’t.” Simon says insistently, and he shivers. “Look, if we’re going to do this, either call the police or let me in, because it’s freezing out here and my fingers are going to fall off - “
“You’re awfully talkative for a thief.” The man mutters, before he leans down and hauls Simon in by the shoulders, surprisingly strong. They tumble to the floor, and Simon scrabbles for purchase, accidentally groping the man’s very fit torso in the process, before he pushes off and rolls away, getting up and staring warily at the man.
“I’m Jace.” The man says, sticking a hand out to shake. Simon stares at it and shakes hesitantly, noting where the front door is and how fast he can run to it. He knows the layout of the expensive flat from the plans Clary got him, knows everything from the painting studio down the hallway to the sleek-looking espresso maker he can see sitting on the kitchen counter.
“S - Robin.” Simon says, tripping over his own name. “Robin Hood.”
“Yeah.” Jace sticks his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight and raking his eyes up and down Simon’s body. Simon suppresses a shiver, strangely attracted to the man in front of him, oddly charmed by the way his blonde hair is falling softly in his face and his sleep pants are rumpled, like he forgot to fold them properly. “You steal from the rich and give to the poor, Brooklyn’s newest superhero. Or,” he adds, as Simon flushes and tugs his mask and cowl tighter across his face, “depending on what circles you move in, a supervillain.”
Hot anger rushes through Simon, and he tamps down the instant urge to turn invisible and pummel the guy. So far, nobody’s been able to cotton on that the reason Robin Hood and his accomplice Red Riding Hood - and seriously, what newspaper was in charge of giving the him and Clary the most obnoxious names in the history of the world? - get away with all their heists is because he can turn invisible and Clary has super speed, and they have Magnus helping them from his command center with keeping surveillance of the city. He needs to keep it that way, even if Hot Blonde Mysterious Dude - Jace - is attractive and checking him out even though it looked like he was going to rob Jace just a few minutes ago.
Though to be fair, he was going to rob Jace, who’s the adopted son of one of the more powerful families in the city. He’s here for the money, and to investigate what shady deals the three eldest Lightwood children seem to be involved in, since Magnus constantly sees them ducking in and out of buildings they definitely shouldn’t be in.
“It’s all a matter of perspective, I suppose.” Simon says, shrugging and starting to edge towards the door. “For example, it may have looked like I was going to rob you, from your perspective - “
“I think it’s fairly explanatory what a handsome thief is doing hanging off the window of a wealthy man’s apartment.” Jace says dryly, crossing his arms and smirking as he steps closer to Simon. Simon grinds his teeth, torn between flirting back or telling the man to fuck off. “I’m not going to call the police, Simon, chill out.”
Simon freezes, his blood turning cold as he hears his real name, and he immediately turns invisible, leaping backwards and sending a lamp flying. Jace’s mouth drops open and he looks horrified with himself as he stumbles forward, eyes fixed on a point five feet to Simon’s left. “No, shit, don’t go - I’m sorry, I’m Angel, I should have led with that - fuck.”
Angel?
Oh no. Simon’s face drains of color as he considers possibly catapulting himself off the roof of the apartment building in embarrassment. Angel is part of the other trip of superheros working in Brooklyn, fast and strong and equipped with a set of distinctive russet-colored angel wings. He, Archer, and Whiplash dole out vigilante justice, and are well-loved by the people.
Angel is also obnoxious and attractive and started following Simon around when he started using his powers to be Robin Hood and constantly flirted with him and infuriated him, and now Simon’s been stupid enough to not connect the dots between the superhero he was crushing miserably on and his target for the night, oh God.
A set of wings are unfurling from Jace’s back, even as Simon holds perfectly still, hidden by his invisibility. Jace looks around, and calls out, “Simon? Did you leave?” He waits a few seconds, and then sighs, tucking his wings tightly against his body and flopping onto the sofa to grab his phone, dialing a number and pressing it close to his ear as he runs a hand through his hair.
“Alec?” Jace asks, and Simon could kick himself because obviously the Lightwood siblings are crime-fighting superheros. That would explain the shady behavior, at least. “Yeah, Simon came by tonight as Robin Hood. He didn’t know I was Angel, and - “ There’s a pause on the other end of the line, and then Jace laughs bitterly. “No, I think he’s gone. He shifted to invisibility and my windows still open, so I think he climbed out - no, obviously I didn’t ask him out, are you crazy? He hates me right now.”
Simon makes a disbelieving noise, his heart speeding up his chest, and Jace freezes, slowly turning his face to the sound.
“Call you later.” He says into the phone, and then he shuts it off. “Simon, you’re still here.” He squints suspiciously in the general area of where Simon’s standing, and mutters to himself “If he’s not here, I’m going to feel like such a fucking idiot.”
Simon exhales, focuses, and turns visible again, and Jace visibly jumps in shock.
“I have to get used to that.” He says, and he bites his lower lip. “You heard.”
“Yeah.” Simon says, eyes wide.
“Well, now you know.” Jace spreads his arms wide, his expression defeated. “You’re shit at hiding your identity, and I like you. I’m sorry.”
“So Angel swooping in and interrupting my fights,” Simon says slowly, “that was you…flirting?”
“I thought I was doing okay.” Jace defends himself, and Simon cuts him a look before he glances down at his watch.
“I still have work to do tonight. There’s a flat in upper Manhattan owned by a Camille that’s just begging to be trashed and redistributed by Robin Hood.” Simon says in a rush. Jace watches him carefully, his eyes dark, and Simon half-smiles at him. “But…you know, maybe - if you want - we can go on a date tomorrow? Just Simon and Jace. No - no this.” He makes a vague motion with his hands, gesturing to his own mottled green-black uniform and Jace’s wings.
Jace laughs, genuine and carefree, and nods, stepping closer to Simon. “For now,” he says, smirking, “how about a kiss for luck before you go off to be a criminal?”
“You’re such an asshole.” Simon grumbles, and then he cups the back of Jace’s neck and pulls him down for a kiss, groaning softly as he realizes that Jace’s lips really are as plush as they look, and that Jace kisses like a champ - slow and wet and deep - and that Jace’s slight stubble scraping along his face is apparently the hottest thing Simon’s felt. Frankly, it’s unfair how much Simon likes this.
“Okay,” Jace pulls away, his face flushed and his breathing ragged, “go save the world. Or just Brooklyn. Break into someone else’s house.” Simon grins and salutes him, taking a few steps back and leaping out the window to climb back down the building. “Don’t kiss anyone else, though! I better be the only person you steal a kiss from!”
Simon grins even wider, and puts a hand to his earpiece as he uses his other hand to swing down a floor.
“Red,” he says, “I think I’ve found my Maid Marian.”
Jace is going to hate his new nickname.
