#simon lewis

Raphael stood, hands in his pockets, and looked up at the demon towers, shimmering dark red. “Something’s going on,” he said. “Something unusual.” Simon wanted to snap back that the unusual thing that was going on was that he’d just been kidnapped and taken to Idris for the second time in his life, but he was feeling too nauseated. He’d forgotten the way a Portal seemed to take you apart when you went through it and reassemble you on the other side with important pieces missing. Also, Raphael was right. Something was going on. Simon had been in Alicante before, and he remembered the roads and the canals, the hill rising over it all with the Gard at the top. He remembered that on ordinary nights the streets were quiet, lit by the pale glow of the towers. But there was noise tonight, largely coming from the Gard and the hill, where lights were dancing as if a dozen bonfires had been lit. The demon towers were glowing an eerie red-gold.

shimmering dark red / glowing an eerie red-gold Two different colors, feels like suddenly changing the imagery. → shimmering dark red and gold / emitting en eerie glow (without changing the color out of nowhere)

he’d just been kidnapped and taken to Idris for the second time in his life / Simon had been in Alicante before Repetition. Surely the fact that Simon has been in Idris, more so specifically Alicante, before is already conveyed by the fact that this is, indeed, the second time in his life that he has been taken there. Besides, they arrive in the city.

He’d forgotten / he remembered / He remembered Funny to juxtapose, but terrible writing.

the Gard and the hill The Gard is told to be on the top of the hill. It doesn't matter really, but why is it necessary to mention the hill separately? They are in the same direction. The noise is "largely" coming from one exact place. We know the Shadowhunters are at the Gard, so choose either or, depending how specific you want to be.

as if a dozen bonfires had been lit Are these bonfires actually bonfires unlike last time when it was actually the Adamant Citadel or are you again using 'as if' to deliver the exact meaning, not a hypothetical comparison. Also "dozen" is very little compared to the area they're supposedly lighting.

So ↓

Raphael stood, hands in his pockets, and looked up at the demon towers, shimmering dark red and gold. “Something’s going on,” he said. “Something unusual.” Simon wanted to snap back that the unusual thing that was going on was that he’d just been kidnapped and taken to Alicante for the second time in his life, but he was feeling too nauseated. He’d forgotten the way a Portal seemed to take you apart when you went through it and reassemble you on the other side with important pieces missing. Also, Raphael was right. Something was going on. The roads and the canals, even the hill rising over Alicante with the Gard at the top, were quiet on ordinary nights. But there was noise tonight, largely coming from the Gard, lit by dozens of bonfires. The demon towers were emmitting an eerie glow.

Raphael tells Simon that the demons towers change colors to convey messages. Red means magic and danger.

He was about a head shorter than Simon. Simon wondered how old he’d been when he’d been Turned. Fourteen? Fifteen? Only a little older than Maureen. Who had Turned him? Magnus knew but had never told.

Simon wondered Simon wonders nothing. → He was about a head shorter than Simon. How old he’d been when he’d been Turned. Fourteen? Fifteen?

Simon has had a time to wonder all of this many times before but hasn't because Raphael's characters wasn't such point of focus. Now there is a hurry to build him up more since he's going to die, and all of this interest now comes off as insincere.

Magnus knew but had never told. Why would Magnus ever tell Simon anything, especially about Raphael with whom he is far closer friends? The assumption is as crazy as audacious.

“The Inquisitor’s house is there,” Raphael said, and pointed at one of the largest of the houses, with a pointed roof and balconies out over the canal. “But it is dark.”

No comma, same subject.

Simon couldn’t deny that fact, though his unbeating heart gave a little leap as he looked at the place. Isabelle was living there now; one of those windows was her window.

How? How does an unbeating heart leap or flutter or do anything? Insinuates there are living and functioning pacemaker cells.

They must all be up at the Gard,” he said. “They do that, for meetings and things.” He had no fond memories of the Gard himself, having been imprisoned there by the last Inquisitor. “We could go up there, I guess. See what’s going on.”

There's dialogue, then constant stops to comment on something that has happened previously or wonder about things not related to anything taking place. Do we care? Does it matter? What is the point?This is useless.

Raphael decides they should go to a house granted to the vampire representative on the Council instead of the Gard. Before leaving, Simon spots Isabelle.

Simon’s vision was clear and precise now—one of the few things he really liked about being a vampire—and he could see details even at a distance. He saw her before she could have seen him. She was walking along quickly, her head down, her dark hair in the long braid she often wore it in when fighting.

Simon’s vision was clear and precise now / and he could see details even at a distance Repetition. "Precise" means exact, clear, and correct down to the smallest detail. → details revealing themselves even at a distance. → Simon's vision was precise now / details being clear even at a distance.

her dark hair in the long braid she often wore it in when fighting. Off the top of my head, I don't think Isabelle's hair has warranted much of a mention any time she is in battle that this is either true or false. Just an odd information to peddle at this point in the series when it's a barely established trait. This book occasionally tries to sell other random details as facts without previously establishing anything at all.

Raphael teases Simon about Isabelle. Simon then goes to greet her.

Raphael shrugged innocently but didn’t move. Simon turned away from him and stepped out of the shadows, into the street.

I was not under the impression that they were standing in shadows. All we know is that they had arrived on a street. Only indication why Isabelle couldn't have seen Simon first was the distance and her clearly inferior eyesight compared to Simon's vampire one. (Also a useless comma.)

Simon felt suddenly awkward. Maybe she wouldn’t appreciate his suddenly appearing in Alicante like this—this was her world, not his.

To show instead of telling: Simon halting, or blushing, or scratching his neck, or fidgeting with his wonderful puffy shirt etc.

“I—” he began, but he got no further, because Isabelle had launched herself at him and thrown her arms around him, nearly knocking him off his feet.

→ Scrap.

Simon let himself close his eyes and bury his face against her neck. He could feel her heart beating, but violently pushed aside any thoughts of blood. She was soft and strong in his arms, her hair tickling his face, and holding her, he felt normal, wonderfully normal, like any teenage boy in love with a girl.

He could feel her heart beating, but violently pushed aside any thoughts of blood. → Her heart beat against his lips, but he shoved aside any thoughts of blood. (No filtering and a stronger verb istead of an adverb)

he felt normal, wonderfully normal Simon of course feels unnatural and abnormal for being a vampire, but that feeling can be conveyed through the context here without explicitly stating it. → holding her he was like any teenage boy in love with a girl.

In love. "He jerked back with a start and found himself looking at Izzy from a few inches away, her huge dark eyes shining.

I love how this just snuck in, so casually, just as suprisingly for Simon as well. But I don't vibe with jerking back from such a wonderful realization. Jerking back is also a startle response, which can be inferred from, once again, surrounding context without "with a start" mentioned specifically. There's also something more softer with just "He jerked back and found himself looking at Izzy from a few inches away." Like the thought doesn't scare him but is welcome. Just a feeling and a preference though.

Isabelle notices Simon's clothing, Raphael snickers in the apparent shadows they were previously standing in, and Simon suggests they go inside so he can tell Isabelle what has happened since they've last seen each other.

Luke's PoV. Magnus is in Amatis' cellar, inspecting Jocelyn's silver box.

Jocelyn was gazing at him with a look of curious anxiety.

Feels like repetititon. Or too much. Or just clunky. → Jocelyn was gazing at him with curious anxiety.

“Take your time,” said Luke, leaning back against a table shoved into a cobwebby corner. Long ago it had been his mother’s kitchen table. He recognized the pattern of careless knife marks across the wooden top, even the dent in one of the legs he’d made when he’d kicked it as a teenager.

Okay but this is what I mean with dialogue, then exposition. Followed by dialogue, then, once more, exposition. The flow of the dialogue gets constantly interrupted by narration, the purpose of which is of course to reveal more information about the characters and make them more rounded and real by expanding their (back)stories. But if I didn't give a fuck about Luke (or Amatis) before, the segue from his mother's kitchen table is not going to do it now either.

It had been Amatis’s for years. It had been hers when she’d been married to Stephen and had sometimes hosted dinner parties at the Herondale house. It had been hers after the divorce, after Stephen had moved out to the countryside manor house with his new wife. The whole cellar in fact was stacked with old furniture: items Luke recognized as having belonged to their parents, paintings and knickknacks from the time Amatis had been married. He wondered why she had hidden them away down here. Perhaps she hadn’t been able to bear to look at them.

Luke offers all this painful context tied to the furniture Amatis has clearly hidden away in the cellar to rid herself of the memories and pain of being constantly reminded. And Luke wonders WHY. Perhaps she wasn't able? PERHAPS? The hand-holding turns Luke into a massive idiot, like Amatis' reasons aren't clear as day here. → Just scrap the last two sentences. They offer nothing new that isn't obvious from the rest of the paragraph. Leave it for the readers to feel it and get it themselves. We don't need Luke to explain what you already successfully have demonstrated.

Magnus finds nothing wrong with the box. They discuss what happened in London, and Magnus realizes that Jessamine saved the Institute. Magnus then changes the topic to the matter at hand, which was not at all the siderailing with necessary TID tie-ins.

“I guessed as much,” said Luke. “We appreciate the visit, though I admit I was surprised to see you on our doorstep. It’s not where I thought you’d go.” I thought you’d go to the Lightwoods’ hung in the air between them, unsaid. “I had a life before Alec,” Magnus snapped. “I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn. I am here to take a Council seat on behalf of Lilith’s Children.”

These people are adults, yet act nothing like it. This is not even tact, but embarrassment and an inability to talk about things like adults. → "We appreciate the visit, though I admit I was surprised to see you on our doorstep. I thought you'd go to the Lightwoods'."

Also as if that is completely excluded just because Magnus came to Jocelyn and Luke first?

“I thought Catarina Loss was the warlock representative,” said Luke, surprised.

I fact so poorly conveyed and not in the first opportunity when it should've, resulting in unnecessary confusion (though the writing does sort this out.)

My distrust with the narrative with this specific thing is that the writing in general is shit, untrustworthy, and all over the place that you can't always say or determine whether something is intentional or a mistake. So when Clare makes these choices and leaves details like this hanging, there's always the uncertainty whether it will get addressed at all. Not that Catarina having taken Magnus' place wasn't clear or obvious, it was more so that I wasn't sure whether Clare herself remembered who it was supposed to be and whether this change of plans was communicated in any way by the writing. You know?

ANyway. Magnus wanted to talk to Luke about what happened in the Hunter's Moon.

Luke sat down on the rickety table. “Did you see Bat?” he asked. Bat tended to set up office in the Hunter’s Moon during the days, rather than the police station; it was unofficial, but everyone knew that was where to find him.

Action beat. Dialogue. Exposition.

“Yes. He’d just gotten a call from Maia.” Magnus ran a hand through his black hair. “Sebastian doesn’t exactly appreciate being rebuffed,” he said slowly, and Luke felt his nerves tighten. Magnus was clearly hesitant to impart bad news.

Dialogue. Action beat. Exposition.

Magnus reveals that he has spoken with Maia and knows what has happened to Praetor Lupus. He tells Jocelyn and Luke the message Sebastian left Maia.

“I talked to Maia on the phone. She had me memorize it. Apparently he said, ‘Tell all the Downworlders that I am in pursuit of vengeance, and I will have it. I will deal this way with any who ally themselves with Shadowhunters. I have no argument with your kind, unless you follow the Nephilim into battle, in which case you will be food for my blade and the blades of my army, until the last of you is cut from the surface of this world.’ ”

Everyone remembers every quote perfectly anyway. Trying to explain this here now takes the oomph away. Yeah, like, so, apparently, get this, he said, "I'll kill y'all." → Scrap and proceed straight to the message.

Luke looked at Magnus. “Are you going to deliver that message at the Council?” Magnus tapped at his chin with a glittery fingernail. “No,” he said. “But I’m not going to conceal it from the Downworlders, either. My loyalty is not to Shadowhunters over them.” Not like yours. The words hung between them, unspoken.

You fucking "grown ups." Also yes, call him out! Also, no? Magnus' loyalty always cleaves to the Nephilim?

During this entire exchange, Jocelyn is unsettled. She hugs her arms around herself and makes a ragged sound before she speaks. LUKE, instead of comforting her, just sits on Amatis' ragged-ass rickety table and doesn't even go to her. Not the point of the scene but also shows how little the portrayal of their relationship is thought of when something else in the scene takes precedence.

LUKE also doesn't reflect on his loyalty or allegiance to the Nephilim over the Downworld even at the face of this new knowledge of what happened to the Praetor. This is his PoV and the deepest thing we get is him wondering at the fucking furniture in his sister's cellar.

“I have this,” Magnus said, taking a piece of paper from his pocket. Luke recognized it, since he had one of his own. “Will you be at the dinner tomorrow night?” “I will. Faeries take invitations like that very seriously. Meliorn and the Court would be insulted if I didn’t go.”

Thank you for the most unnecessariest of explanations. → Scrap.

This whole exchange about the dinner is also idiotic because the story has already idiotically revelead that it is going to be a trap.

“I plan to tell them then,” Magnus said. “And if they panic?” said Luke. “If they abandon the Council and the Nephilim?”

Oh, but they already have, so there's no true fear or tension to this possibility. The narrative has already ruined it.

“It’s not as if what happened at the Praetor can be concealed.” “Sebastian’s message could,” said Jocelyn. “He’s trying to frighten the Downworlders, Magnus. He’s trying to make them stand back while he destroys the Nephilim.” “It would be their right,” said Magnus. “If they do, do you think that the Nephilim will ever forgive them?” said Jocelyn. “The Clave is not forgiving. They are more unforgiving than God himself.” “Jocelyn,” said Luke. “It’s not Magnus’s fault.” But Jocelyn was still looking at Magnus. “What,” she said, “would Tessa tell you to do?” “Please, Jocelyn,” Magnus said. “You hardly know her. She would preach honesty; she usually does. Concealing the truth never works. When you live long enough, you can see that.” Jocelyn looked down at her hands—her artist’s hands, that Luke had always loved, agile and careful and stained with ink. “I am not a Shadowhunter anymore,” she said. “I fled from them. I told you both that. But a world without Shadowhunters in it—I am afraid of that.” “There was a world before the Nephilim,” said Magnus. “There will be one after.” “A world we can survive in? My son—” Jocelyn began, and broke off as a hammering sound came from upstairs.

I want to highlight this part because it's good and flows well. It holds interest. Actually different stances colliding without overindulgence in emotions or melodrama. And as a bonus, each character feels like themselves and you get why they think the way they do. Also the dialogue isn't slowed down by constant stops to tell useless stuff in-between. (Minus for The Holy Mother Theresa, why is she suddenly everyone's guiding light and a point of moral extortion?)

“A world we can survive in? My son—” Jocelyn began, and broke off as a hammering sound came from upstairs. Someone was pounding on the front door. “Clary?” she wondered aloud. “She might have forgotten her key again.”

Yeah, I supposed she wonders aloud as it is in quotes, she's the one talking, and this it not her PoV. → Scrap.

“I’ll get it,” Luke said, and stood up.

No comma, same subject. Good, you leave that fuckass table alone now.

Luke goes to the door and is met with Helen. She comes with a message about Clary.

We cut to Maia sleeping, having a nightmare about Daniel. She startles awake when Bat touches her.

She was in a half-lit room, a single window looking out onto a winding downtown street. She could see the leafless boughs of trees through the smeared glass and the edge of something metal—a fire escape, she guessed.

She could see This is her PoV, no filtering. → The leafless boughs of trees spread out behind the smeared glass

the edge of something metal—a fire escape, she guessed. Does she have to guess? Cannot she just know? A fire escape in an environment like that is pretty recognizable. → This is such a bad sentence that I don't know how to fix it without losing the original shape. → She could see the leafless boughs of trees through the smeared glass and the edge of a fire escape.

She glanced down—a narrow bed with an iron headboard and a thin blanket that she had kicked to the foot. Her back against a brick wall. A single chair by the bed, old and splintered. Bat sat in it, his eyes wide, slowly lowering his hand.

Really taking in the surroundings, huh. (Setting the scene like a film)

Bat apologizes for waking her up. Maia demands to know where her sweater and jacket are. Laundry day, duh. Bat asks Maia if she remembers what has happened and confirms that Jordan is dead.

Bat’s face was grave; there was a greenish cast to his brown eyes that made them shine in the half-light. It was a face she knew well. He was one of the first werewolves she’d ever met. They’d dated until she’d told him she thought she was too new to the city, too jittery, too much not over Jordan for a relationship. He’d broken up with her the next day; surprisingly they had stayed friends. “He’s dead,” he said. “Along with almost all the Praetor Lupus. Praetor Scott, the students—a few survived. Maia, why were you there? What were you doing at the Praetor?”

greenish cast to his brown eyes Where are Bat's gold-ringed pupils?

They’d dated until she’d told him she thought she was too new to the city, too jittery, too much not over Jordan for a relationship. He’d broken up with her the next day; surprisingly they had stayed friends. Another heap of (rather unrelated and not imminent) exposition awkwardly making its way where it doesn't really belong.

Maia tells Bat what happened, and Bat offers some of Jordan's things to Maia. She doesn't want them and says Simon should have Jordan's pendant when they find him. Bat reveals to Maia that Simon has been found and is in Idris with the Shadowhunters. Who told him? Only one that could've is Raphael.

“New York is empty of Shadowhunters now, and Luke is in Idris with them. They’re putting up extra wards. Soon we’ll barely be able to get messages in and out.”

New York is empty of Shadowhunters now Solid plan, as previously said.

They’re putting up extra wards. Soon we’ll barely be able to get messages in and out Extremely convenient that. There needn't be rules that cannot eventually be bend and broken.

Bat then asks whether Maia knows Rufus Hastings. I don't, neither does Maia.

“He survived the massacre. He’s here in the station, with us. He’s been filling us in,” said Bat. “And he’s been talking to the others about Luke. Saying that he’s more of a Shadowhunter than a lycanthrope, that he doesn’t have pack loyalty, that the pack needs a new leader now.” “You’re the leader,” she said. “You’re second in command.” “Yeah, and I was put in that position by Luke. That means I can’t be trusted either.”

Oh, hey. Look at that. A consequence! I have totally forgotten this. Nice! But aren't the rules that he has to kill Luke or that Luke has to name a successor? Man, sounds like you can do nothing without Luke there. So how is Rufus (of whom I have no memory) any threat here?

Bat is worried that others in the pack are listening to Rufus. Maia is apparently the only one with the ability for foresight.

That’s ridiculous. After what’s happened, we need to be unified, not to have someone trying to split us up. Shadowhunters are our allies—” “Which is why Sebastian targeted us.” “He’d target us anyway. He’s no friend to Downworlders. He’s Valentine Morgenstern’s son.” Her eyes burned. “He might be trying to get us to abandon the Nephilim temporarily, so he can go after them, but if he managed to wipe them off the earth, all he’d do is come for us next.”

Many characters get hung up on this, understandably, but only Maia so far has taken the logic a bit furher. Like so. Nice. This is the kind of questioning villain logic needs in the series. Not idiocy and leaving them unchallenged.

“I know you’re right,” he said, and went over to a table in the corner of the room.

No comma, same subject.

He returned with a jacket for her, socks and boots. He handed them over. “Just—do me a favor and don’t say anything like that this afternoon. Emotions are going to be running pretty high as it is.” She shrugged the jacket on. “This afternoon? What’s this afternoon?”

socks and boots Socks and boots what. WHAT. → He returned with a jacket, socks, and boots for her. → He returned with a jacket and a pair of socks and boots for her.

He handed them over / She shrugged the jacket on. Bat handing the clothes over is implicit with her putting the clothes on. It's also implicated by the fact that he brings them to her. Not every tiny action warrants a separate mention when it's clear that must have happened from the following actions. You can skip these.

There's a funeral in the afternoon. And sceeene.

Back with Simon and Isabelle. Isabelle is trying to find Simon other clothes to wear and is rummaging through Alec's wardrobe.

Simon was lying barefoot on one of the beds—Jace’s? Alec’s?—having kicked off his alarming buckled boots. Though his skin didn’t really bruise, it felt amazing to be on a soft surface after having spent so many hours on the hard, dirty floor of the Dumort.

What's that got to do with comfort and the sensory experience?

“No accounting for taste.” Isabelle held up a dark blue sweater Simon recognized as Alec’s, mostly from the holes in the cuffs.

Alec really is reduced to over-worn sweaters, isn't he. Simon asks about speaking with Robert as that is the reason he was brought with.

“Sure, why not. My dad loves talking.” She sounded bitter. Simon leaned forward, but when she raised her head, she was smiling at him and he thought he must have imagined it.

So, we as readers know she is bitter. Why must we suffer Simon not being in the know? Why must Simon think he imagined it instead of actually clocking it and demonstrating that he knows Isabelle well enough to know she's hiding her feelings from him?

They talk about the battle currently taking place, while Isabelle manhandles Alec's clothes, writing utiliziling once again unnecessary commas.

“No, he’s not,” Isabelle said fiercely, and yanked a green sweater down from a wooden hanger. “Besides. He’s a man.”

Like so.

“Fifty or sixty,” Isabelle said. “I wanted to go, but—they wouldn’t let me.” She had the guarded tone in her voice that meant they were closing in on a subject she didn’t want to talk about.

That you get?

He saw her mouth quirk into a reluctant smile. “Try this on,” she said, and tossed him the green sweater, slightly less frayed than the rest.

No comma, same subject.

Isabelle then goes into her Lord Montgomery bit.

She pounced onto the bed and crawled over to him, eyeing him like a cobra considering making a snack out of a mongoose.

Hot? (Not.) Threatening? (Also not.)

Simon decided this was a lot like role-playing in D&D, but potentially much more fun.

→ Scrap.

Her lips parted under his, and suddenly everything was all sweet dark heat and Isabelle’s lips brushing over his, first teasing, then harder.

This is on par with the Clary and Jace kissing scene in chapter 4. ("She felt him breathe out in surprise against her mouth, and then they were kissing, really kissing, exquisitely slow and hot and intense.")

It's a really steamy kiss when you just tell it was steamy.

She smelled, as she always did, dizzyingly of roses and blood.

We have once more encapsulated Isabelle's essence to smelling like something. But not vanilla? Not vetiver or figs? But roses just like everyone else even though that was not what she supposedly wanted?

Also, BLOOD DOES NOT SMELL GOOD. It's an unpleasant and stale smell. I am convinced that people who think smelling like blood is hot, or cool, or sexy, have seriously never actually smelled blood. Like proper amount of it.

Simon and Isabelle's bit gets interrupted by Alec. Isabelle scolds her for not knocking, but as Alec states in his defende, it is his bedroom. Simon will get Alec for this later in Born to Endless Night, because interrupting intimate scenes is hilarious and fun tradition in TSC. (Not.)

Alec tells them both to put some clothes on.

“You’re not going to leave—are you?” Isabelle said in a sulky tone, sliding off the bed. She picked up her jacket and shrugged it on, then tossed Simon the green sweater.

Mind you, Isabelle is still in her boy shorts as she has not put anything else on besides the short, tank top, and the jacket. It's like getting dressed in wrong order.

Simon goes to the bathroom to change, meanwhile Alec tells Isabelle what he felt through his parabatai rune. Simon overhears them and asks about Clary and Jace going through the Portal.

“They didn’t exactly have permission.” Alec was leaning back against the wall. He looked tired, the shadows under his eyes bruise-blue.

Panda man. Also Isabelle still chilling scantily clad???

Alec scolds Isabelle in turn for not telling Simon and using him to forget what happened at the Gard. Or more so, if she plans to do that, she should do it in her own room, not in Alec's. Then Simon has this fucking epiphany about Isabelle's previous behavior.

Simon thought about Isabelle’s eyes, shining when she’d seen him standing in the street. He’d thought it was happiness, but he realized now it had more likely been unshed tears. The way she’d been walking toward him, her head down, her shoulders curved in, as if she’d been holding herself together.

Like this is epiphany worthy. Simon, you're just dumb and can't read Isabelle at all where it counts.

“You were, though,” he said. “Or you would have told me what happened. You didn’t even mention Clary or Jace, or that you were worried, or anything.” He felt his stomach clench as he realized how deftly Isabelle had deflected his questions and distracted him with kissing, and he felt stupid. He’d thought she was glad to see him specifically, but maybe he could have been anyone.

I get it. I get both of them. But this is just juvenile and ridiculous to constantly to-and-fro with the relationship progression. There is no true progession if Simon so easily reverts back to Isabelle not caring about him and being happy with just anyone in his place. And in a sense, maybe true, as Simon has not demonstrated knowing Isabelle or his worth to her at all.

It's like with Isabelle and Clary. There are moments that are clear points of progression and them supposeldy becoming closer until the next book where all that proves to mean nothing as they have reverted back to the starting point, essentially. It seems similar here. Every conflict or emotional turmoil and defeating those does not bring them closer or make them more stable. It all reverts back to the same instability it has been since City of Bones.

Isabelle then snatches her ruby pendant back from Simon, saying she should've never given it to him. Simon tells her it saved his life. Alec then once more interrupts their emotional scene as his parabatai rune is acting up again. Something is wrong with Jace. Dun, dun, dunn.

After the Mortal War, Angel Square had been full of bodies. Shadowhunter bodies, laid out in neat rows, each corpse with its eyes bound in the white silk of death.

We are still talking about people though. → their eyes

The demon towers were shining down a brilliant light on the scene that greeted Simon when, having followed Isabelle and Alec through the winding streets of Alicante, he finally reached the Hall of Accords.

Back to my previous point: Not every action needs to be written out when it's evident from the context that this must have happened for something else to happened. It is implieeeeeeeeed. → the scene that greeted Simon when he finally reached the Hall of Accords with Alec and Isabelle. (Bolded part optional because following paragraphs show that Alec and Isabelle are with Simon.)

He could make out a few familiar figures: the Consul moving anxiously among her people, Kadir from the New York Institute, Silent Brothers in their parchment robes directing people wordlessly toward the lighted building.

I forbid this expression to be repeated. You've just used it in the previous chapter.

They learn Jace is being treated in the Basilias. Simon offers to go with Isabelle to see him, but it is for Shadowhunters only. Because segregting hospital aid and healthcare is fun.

Alec said, “Isabelle. Come on.” He was holding the shoulder marked by his parabatai rune stiffly.

You know his shoulder? The one where he has the parabatai rune? The same shoulder he has just held for hurting before the previous scene cuts to this? How would we know which shoulder he is holding if it isn't explicitly, constantly told that it is, in fact, the shoulder where Alec has his parabatai rune? → He was still holding his (rigid) shoulder. (no adverbs, no handholding)

Simon wanted to say something to him, wanted to say that his best friend had also gone into the battle and was also missing, wanted to say that he understood. But maybe you could only understand parabatai if you were a Shadowhunter. He doubted Alec would thank him for saying he understood. Rarely had Simon felt so keenly the divide between Nephilim and those who were not Nephilim.

THIS IS THE POINT? NOT EVERY OTHER PREVIOUS INSTANCE OF BLATANT DISCRIMINATION AND PREJUDICE? Just because he cannot adequately equate his friendship with Clary to the magical warrior bond Alec and Jace share? Be real.

Simon watches them go, and Raphael appears on his side.

“Do you think,” said a soft voice at his shoulder, “that they would mind much if we fed on their dead?”

Asking the real questions here.

It was Raphael. His curly hair was a mussed halo around his head, and he wore only a thin T-shirt and jeans. He looked like a child.

Well, he physically is. A child.

“Then if you know things, tell me where Jace and Clary are,” said Simon, without a lot of hope. Raphael was rarely helpful unless it was useful to him.

without a lot of hope → with little hope → almost with no hope → hopelessly → having lost (most of) his hope

Anything really than this clunky thing.

Raphael was rarely helpful unless it was useful to him. Don't you think Raphael should be established enough by now that this should be the expectation of him without clunky reminders?

He caught sight of a blond head and a dark head bent together—Aline and Helen, tending to one of the wounded—and thought for a moment of Alec and Jace.

What are you insinuating. (It doesn't matter, I love it.)

“If you are wondering what would happen if you drank Jace’s blood now, the answer is that it would kill you,” said Raphael. “Vampires and heavenly fire do not mix. Yes, even you, Daylighter.”

Okay, but how do you know? Where do you get this information? Has it been proven? These random rules appearing whenever feel completely arbitrary. Also why would Simon think that? Why is this a question now that needs answering?

Simon tells Raphael that no, he wasn't thinking about that and wants to know what happened at the battle. Raphael tells Simon everything we already know.

“How did Sebastian manage to trick them into thinking he had fewer warriors than he did?” Raphael shrugged a thin shoulder. “Shadowhunters forget sometimes that not all magic is theirs. The Citadel is built on ley lines. There is old magic, wild magic, that existed before Jonathan Shadowhunter, and will exist again—”

How did Sebastian manage to trick them into thinking he had fewer warriors than he did? Because the Clave are convenient idiots and Sebastian is not the mastermind this story would like everyone to believe. It was asinine and will forever be asinine.

How did Sebastian manage to trick them into thinking he had fewer warriors than he did Sure, it's Raphael's business to know things. Conveniently for the plot too. Thanks for dropping important lore for Simon to later figure out.

They then stop as Simon spots Clary laying on the ground, seemingly not far from dying. Magnus is healing her, Jocelyn and Luke at her side. Luke then goes to grab Simon before he manages to get to Clary.

Luke looked at Simon with tired blue eyes.

Where are Luke's gold-ringed pupils?

Luke hesitated a long moment. Then he said, “I have something for you. Magnus brought it from New York.” He reached into his pocket and drew out a medallion on a chain. The medallion was gold, stamped with a wolf’s paw and the Latin inscription Beati Bellicosi.

The composition of this chapter is OFF.

I. First time we see Magnus, he is already in Amatis' cellar inspecting the box. Helen comes with the news of Clary, so logically the next thing they do is go to the Hall of Accords, as Magnus attempts to heal her. It's unreasonable to assume Magnus would have any time to Portal back to New York just because.

II. First time we see Maia after the Praetor is after the scene with Magnus inspecting the box, meaning Magnus already had the pendant with him. Though in the scene with Maia, Bat still has the pendant and offers it to her. Maia denies it and says Simon should have it, meaning that scene actually took place before Magnus left for Alicante.

III. My intial complaint about the Maia and Bat scene was that it felt like there was no in-between Maia being at the Praetor and waking up in this chapter, which was then confirmed by Bat as he says Maia has done nothing but slept after coming back. It's not unreasonable to assume Maia called Magnus right after Jordan died and most of the Praetor were murdered, but there was a weird disconnect with it, but I decided to forgo it, because the timeline did somewhat make sense.

IV. But now this is just dumb! Why present the scene with Maia after Magnus has already been given the pendant. There are no surprises or plot twists or anything meaninful gained from it, just illogical composition.

Luke then ends up revealing to Simon that Jordan has died. First being kidnapped, then essentially kidnapped again, then the girl he realizes he's in love with seems emotionally distant and not truly care about him, then his best friend is found greatly exhausted by the battle she had no business taking part in, and now his other friend has been murdered. Simon is not having a good time at all.