Nov 18, 2024
You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?
The emotional amnesia.
Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.
You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.
It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?
And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.
#Ironically thinking hard about all this creates a somewhat paradox#By stressing about feeling nothing you torture yourself into feeling bad things#Not about the memories just about yourself as a person#x Celyn#celyn speaks#dissociative disorder#dissociation#depersonalization#derealization#depersonalisation#derealisation#dissociative identity disorder#did system#osdd system#osdid#osddid#osddid system#system stuff#emotional amnesia#osdid system#cdd#cdd system#complex dissociative disorder#dissociative amnesia#flux speaks#flux takes#did symptoms#sysblr#cdd community#did community
