#obishmi

Obi-Wan is drawn to go with Qui-Gon and Padme for Force reasons. This is mostly out of a metaphysical need to find Anakin.

However.

During the sandstorm, Shmi goes into rut.

Obi-Wan does the math and decides, well, he can open his legs for the mission. He's a bit of a slut anyway, he doesn't mind. Qui-Gon can babysit the kids.

Rut's over in time for saving the rest of the plot. Qui-Gon still dies.

Couple weeks later, Obi-Wan finds out he's pregnant. Is already considering an abortion, but Anakin walks in on him looking at the test and goes "BABY SIBLING???" He was fully aware of and generally trying to ignore what his mom was doing during the sandstorm.

And so Obi-Wan has. Another factor in deciding if he wants to abort or just... give the baby to the creche.

Because he usually doesn't have to worry about the hypothetical baby's older sibling getting excited about it.

So. He figures out where his and his mom’s slave chips are, turns them off, and either gets them removed, or Shmi believes him when he says they can’t go off rn.

Somehow they get off the planet, end up on the way to Coruscant where Anakin marches his cute lil wide eyed self up to the high council chambers with a very confused mother behind him, and says he’s gonna be a Jedi.

He’s got a LITTLE bit of light in him, Luke was never wrong about that, but the damage Padme’s death and Palpatine’s influence did, are still there and messing with his moral compass. So he goes to the person he knows to be a very moral person. Obi-Wan.

Which is HILARIOUS because as soon as Qui-Gon get’s a load of this kid’s midi count he’s all ‘oh I’m gonna take that one as a student’ which Vaderkin replies to by hissing and force throwing a plate at his head before clinging to Obi-Wan (who’s utterly enchanted by the baby) and says over his dead body.

Obi-Wan has decided then and there he’s going to adopt the baby. Who fucking cares about being a Jedi, he’s tryina be a father. Is your mom single? Good, they can get married and run away to another planet. It’ll be great.

Baby Vader is highly considering it. He always wanted Obi-Wan to be his dad, but that’s his mommy, she isn’t a bargaining tool. Except then he sees the way mommy is looking at Obi-Wan’s butt and is all ‘ugh, fine, better than her marrying a moisture farmer’ and accepts them flirting. It’s kinda cute. Ani thinks Obi-Wan would be an adorable barefoot-and-pregnant type. Let’s do this.