#negotiating

Basically, Tav getting addicted to organizing loot as a means of a short little escape from the horrors they've seen. Astarion thought that it would be fine, however, if it didn't get to the point where they started to neglect their own needs.

He decides that perhaps a break is in order.

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Astarion kept stealing annoyed glances above his book at you from where he stood in front of his tent. Everyone gathered around Gale with bowls and bread, all banter and grateful sounds for long-awaited food. 

Conversely, you kept fussing around with the loot everyone snatched from earlier that day. You were sorting through it with piles of books, letters, potions, and poisons surrounding your little area. Your tongue stuck out in concentration as you created a new pile of unenchanted armor and useless trinkets that could be sold to the next trader they came across on another adventure. 

"Tav! Come and get your food!" Karlach thankfully called, probably pitying how you were usually always the last soul to eat (only thanks to Astarion cutting in and saving you a bowl) because you'd never even noticed the smell of food in the air. 

Suppose loot wasn't occupying your mind. In that case, it was filling canteens and waterskins, sharpening and polishing everyone's weapons, doing laundry, brewing potions, or burying your nose in a text you found that day- anything that made you forget everything around you. 

Astarion honestly wondered if you even had a stomach sometimes. Or a need for sleep. 

You blinked and glanced up from your fort of loot, shaking your head, and Astarion almost rolled his eyes to the back of his skull. 

"I've gotta get through this first."

"They're doing it yet again. I wonder if it's just my cooking," Gale sadly pondered aloud as he poured a bowl for you anyway. 

"It's not that; Tav just gets lost in things sometimes," Shadowheart told him, not really as a reassurance, but more just as a matter of fact. 

"I will say that they keep a very organized camp because of it," Lae'zel stated, grabbing your bowl and walking over to place it next to you. 

You mumbled a quick thanks as you organized the books neatly into a chest, moving on to put some helpful scrolls into a pouch, potions the same. And, of course, as Astarion predicted, you ignored it for about ten minutes before he decided that you might like a lukewarm meal over a cold one that night. 

Astarion closed his book and made his way over, leaning against an enormous chest. You didn't even notice his presence or stare, you busy bee. 

"Would you like some help?" he offered, which was rare. 

At first, he thought you didn't hear him, as you were too lost in picking through some enchanted jewelry. But you eventually glanced up at him, tilting your head a little at the vision of him. 

"No, thank you." 

Then Astarion's eyebrow twitched as Wyll called over his shoulder, "I've tried that one before!"

The vampire ignored him and tried once again because, of course, he was just as stubborn as you were, dammit. 

"Are you sure, Tav? This is a pretty infrequent opportunity to finally put me to work around here. Would you like to eat? Bathe? Rest? You know, basic things that everyone needs but you somehow neglect?" 

You blinked and grabbed a circlet, raising it to inspect, unanswering. Were you really ignoring Astarion now? 

Astarion huffed and muttered under his breath, "Fine. Enjoy your frigid stew. That is if you even eat it."

"Wait," you called, standing from your spot and swaying a little. 

Astarion glared at you, but his expression slowly slipped away the closer you came toward him. Your eyes finally focused as you fixed the golden circlet atop his head. Your fingers brushed some of his white curls to the side as you took in his entire face. 

His cursed undead heart would've been beating out of his chest at the sudden sight of you and your eyes on him, only him. It was like your attention was always there, with the corners of your lips rising into an appreciative smile. 

"Beautiful," you told him, completely engrossing his attention in you once again. The dark circles under your eyes, the dirt and blood spatter on your skin, and your frazzled hair from a hard day fought. Every part is endearing, especially compared to how much you did for everyone else and maybe for yourself despite your fatigue. 

This adventure only offered some bouts of control, but most days, it just didn't. If there was something to make you forget those chaotic moments, painful moments, in getting lost in these things, then Astarion reasoned it wasn't so bad- if even for a moment.

But he'll be damned if he was going to let you deprive yourself of your needs. 

"You're quite sly, you know that?" Astarion asked, grinning back. 

"Why, I have no clue what you're talking about," you replied with that cheeky smile that Astarion secretly adored. You gestured to the enchantments and said, "You can help me put these somewhere for everyone to look through tomorrow." 

"And what exactly do I get in return?" he asked. "Aside from these cherished adornments."

You weren't surprised by those words. Astarion was sure you already knew he wasn't going to give. 

"I'm not quite sure. What would you like then?" 

You wanted to hear him say it, and he would have indulged you if it meant you finally understood how important it is to take care of yourself.

"There's many things I'd like. For starters, you could finally eat that sorry bowl of stew. Otherwise, the entire camp has to suffer Gale's river of tears." 

"I heard that!" the wizard crankily hollered all the way over from his tent. You glanced over at the table and noticed everyone had finished eating by then and returned to their bedrolls. 

We have just the thing, babycakes! Here's our guide to asking for stuff other than a salary increase (though you should still absolutely ask for that no matter the size of the company) and a couple more resources for your situation:

If Your Employer Refuses To Negotiate Salary, Try These 11 Creative Counteroffers

Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment 

You Really Need to Ask for a Raise. Here's How. 

This isn’t confusing at all, I know exactly what you’re asking!

Okay so-! If you attend a workshop on playing, or sometimes before a play party there is a mandatory talk you have to attend, or you’re attending a newbie event, they may likely bring up something called “negotiating up,” and that you shouldn’t do it. “Negotiating Up” refers to re-negotiating mid-scene and adding something to the scene that wasn’t previously negotiated and/or consented to before the session. This is potentially dangerous, especially for newbies:

as the players’ headspaces alter their feelings and thoughts (players may not be able to give full consent).

it causes an interruption in the scene/headspace (could kill the mood, breaking out of a headspace isn’t fun).

if the sub is bound and is literally in a vulnerable position, they may feel pressured to say “yes,” or the Dom takes advantage and pushes for a yes.

the added activity may already be risky on its own, or make the other consented activities, or the rest of the session, risky.

When playing with someone new, and/or you’re inexperienced, you should absolutely negotiate your scene, and then stick to it the whole way through. Negotiate what happens before the session, during the session, and after the session, and keep to it. Feel free to negotiate down (take away a certain activity, tool, tease, phrase, loosen bondage, get out of the bondage), but do not negotiate up. Especially if you’re a newbie, it’s your first time playing with this person, or you’re not 100% trusting and comfortable with the person you’re playing with.

But yes… unfortunately I have to admit that I have “negotiated up” during sessions, only with play partners I have played with multiple times, there’s been prior teasing about these certain acts being done eventually, and we’re all experienced players with multiple references. I have had a session that turned us both on, and they were tempting me by lightly tickling my thighs and over my panties with a big fluffy feather like how could I resist!! And another session where my mouth was duct-taped and they asked mid-scene if they could lift my bra to play with my nipples and I nodded a “yes~”. This probably makes me look so bad- 🫣😖.

Though then again, tickling and erotic tickling/touching aren’t as risky as other kinks out there. My play partners and I generally stick to our realm of tickling and having painless sessions! I didn’t necessarily be like, “do what you want to me!” in these examples, though I would love to have blanket consent like that with multiple play partners!