Dean being the "It's not gay if you don't kiss" type
He's like, "yeah, I've given/received the odd handy here and there, but it wasn't GAY!" It was just guys blowing off steam, needing a different set of hands. Maybe they were other hunters, sharing a foxhole-type situation, or maybe there just weren't always willing women in the dive bars/roadhouses he found himself at.
For Destiel, it's like: He definitely can't be genuinely attracted to Cas, and certainly can't be in LOVE with him. Definitely don't look into the way he gulps and has to leave the room when Cas takes his trench coat and suit jacket off and rolls his sleeves up. And there's NOTHING to be seen here when Dean takes 10 minutes to get out of the car when Cas pulls a reverse 180 in Baby during a chase. What do you mean it's super gay that Dean got Cas to show him how he gets off to make sure he's doing right? Cas was only human for like, 5 minutes, he's probably jerking it wrong somehow!!
For Wincest, he's like: "We're not doing anything wrong, a bit of grinding doesn't matter. Just a couple of bros taking care of a biological need. No one else is here, and we aren't going all the way, hell, we're not even kissing!" It's just a big brother looking after his little brother. Besides, isn't it better to just rub one out than leave Sammy alone while he finds a girl (Or not a girl) to take care of it? He certainly can't bring a girl back to the motel. It's not safe. And he can't have SAMMY cruising for chicks. He'd be terrible at it, and it wouldn't be SAFE. So MAYBE He lets Sammy grind on him a bit at night, and MAYBE he 'demonstrates technique' there's nothing wrong with that!
Like...baby boy...no matter who you get shipped with, you are a beautiful, pathetic, deeply-repressed pervert.












