#mulitiple system

Me: We need to make a video about dissociative amnesia. It's a popular topic….

Well, not Donna. At the end of her life she called herself Polly. People ignored it too.

Her books about autism are popular even in Russia.

She was one of the people that created the Autistic community...

And... and when she was diagnosed with DID people just ignored it.

Her plural experience was completely erased even for her fans.

And after that we realized that society not just “doesn’t see plural people”

They prefer to ignore us, sometimes they are scared to believe that Multiple experiences are so common.

This is a video about why it happened. We people prefer to gaslight us.

At least for our opinion.

P.S. In 17 minutes you could see how we switched to our Little, Mowgli. He is Autistic 4 years old boy and he is really cute. We left all his speaking about kittens 🐱

Sometimes it’s exhausting. And it’s important to acknowledge it. A child alter is a child that you have just like that, a child that you never choose to have. And even if you love this kid it could be difficult sometimes.

It’s important to explain this to you Little: you could love them, but sometimes you are angry and tired and have some unpleasant thoughts about them and this is completely ok. Because everyone has unpleasant thoughts. No one could completely control their thoughts and feelings.

It’s important to pay attention to your spoons: because if you have Littles, especially if this Littles likes to front... it’s like having a child who’s needs you have to constantly keep in mind. I mean, not to become too tired or overwhelmed, think better where you are going and for how long.

And you have to be patient. Not to traumatize your Little one who is already traumatized. Not to be an ageist like people around.

We are still only learning all of this. For us “spoons part” is the most difficult. For you it could be any other part of this journey.

But anyway, I believe that it deserves so much effort. And yeah, you will make mistakes. It’s important to acknowledge them too.

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✅Alters could be abusive.

✅Alters could try to kill you. Inside. Or outside, by killing the body.

✅Alters could harm the body in many, many ways: because they wanted to harm themselves, or harm you, or any other alter or just don’t understand what is going on.

✅Alters could harm people around you, sometimes even the ones you love.

✅Alters could try to bring you back to you abuser.

✅Alters could lie to you.

✅Alters could change or erase part of your memory.

Actually, they could do anything that any other very close person could do. And even more because they have access to your mind - to their mind - to your common mind.

And sometimes it’s fac*ing difficult to be Plural. Sometimes we want to be just us.

And yeah, when I said that we are family I mean exactly this. Families are not fairytales. They could be good, they could be bad. And some family members could be awful, could be abusive and dangerous. And you could hate them.

But it doesn’t mean that all family members are bad if one of them or a couple of them is bad.

And the fact that many families are bad doesn’t mean that all families are bad or families could be good.

After all, we all have bodies.

And it’s especially important for the disability justice movement because a “relationship” between our body and society really often makes us disabled.

So, I will tell you one shameful thing about my disabled body.

I couldn’t stand water in my face or head. I I almost never wash my face and my head once a week (sometimes less often). Sometimes I need several days to have enough bravery just to go to the shower because I hate changing temperatures - especially when water changes temperature.

It is one of the most unpleasant feelings for me.

I like bubble bath but I could have problems with my pressure and faint after it, so this is not a reall solution.

Most of the time I fully wash my body only one time a week (sometimes two times), and on other days just wash my armpits and perineum. And I use deodorant for my armpits. That’s all.

And sometimes I forget to brush my teeth for weeks.

This is not something that I’m proud of. And I tried to make my personal hygienic life more easy and healthy. I haven't found any solution yet. And honestly I feel a little ashamed and shy after telling you this stuff. But this is part of who I am. Part of my problems. Part of my disability as Autistic person. Part of my sensory problems.

And the more people speak about it, the more easily the next generation of Autistic kids would find a solution for such problems.

(Abu Aziza with a flowers)

Support post for Autistic and Multiple people whose parents don't believe in their diagnosis.

Your condition is real even if your parents don't believe in it.

Our culture is about “parents support” in many ways. Parents are often portrayed like a Saint. Or at least as a person who knows their kids and wants everything better for them.

But in reality everything is more difficult.

Parents could be abusive.

Parents could hate their kids.

And even “good, loving parents” could be bigots.

Your parents could denied it because of their own

ableism, or because it helps them to believe that they were doing everything right, that they don't make some big mistakes in communication with you.

Most of the time this denial is not about you, but about them: about their convenience and their stereotypes.

This is not your fault.

Maybe after some time or after some new arguments they would believe you or your doctor and they would say it out loud.

Maybe they would believe or have some suspensions but they would continue to deny all of it openly.

Maybe they would never believe you and would prefer to live in an “imaginary world”.

But whatever.

Because anyway; it couldn’t make your conditions less real.

Accept yourself = accept that you are part of the System.

Not because System life is always amazing. Sometimes it’s not.

The stuff that you more likely couldn’t know when you find out that you are a System.

At least we have some times to figured it out:

✅Sometimes you don’t know that you loss part of your memory.

✅You co-host could change your memory or erase it. Not all co-hosts, but some of them.

✅Other alters could use you. They could have their own goals and agenda that they could hide from you.

✅Sometimes you couldn’t stop or even notice an abusive alter.

✅You couldn’t always control switching.

✅You couldn’t always choose co-hosts (and even for doin it you need some skills). And someone could come in co-front when you don’t want to.

✅Even in co-front you couldn’t fully control the situation.

And this is OK. I mean, this is sad, but this is true,

And better to accept it and keep in mind and be prepared.

If only we knew this stuff from the beginning our life would be much easier.

-Abu Umar.