✧ REQ : here. // this may be horrible because i lost the original version i did, but i did try to rewrite what i had back to the best of my ability!! also, decided to throw in 2 colors to make this easier to read lol ✧
nat and travis who entered a throuple with you post-crash. you noticed nat first, if you were really being honest, but then you began to notice how nat had been noticing travis. and then they got paired together to hunt, and the rest was history. long shared glances, disappearances off into the woods, coming back holding hands, etc. they were together, and you wanted to be happy for them, but something inside you felt empty. you wanted both of them. together, with you. is that even possible?
after about two weeks, you caught nat's eyes on you, soft, gentle, ushering you to come over. it happened a few times, and you wanted to, but you were scared. it was one thing sitting with nat, but nat and her new boyfriend seemed off the roster. until one day, along with nat's longing gaze, travis looked your way, the two of them giving you the sweetest puppy-dog eyes you'd ever seen. and between them on the log was a spot open ... just for you?
nat, before the crash, who would spend time with you on the field and after practice. you wouldn't have called her a "friend" like you might refer to someone you hangout outside of school with, but she was kind and easy to get along with. she liked to check up on you and ask how you were doing. but what really drew you to nat was how he expressed himself. some days, she'd come to school with her hair in a beanie, and other days, he'd wear it long with smoky eyeliner and a plaid skirt. later on, he told you he doesn't care too much for labels, but when it comes down to it, she feels like both. she's always been both—sometimes a girl, sometimes a boy, sometimes nothing at all—and that's just how it is. you look up to his no-care attitude, and she motivates you, personally, to feel the same.
travis who you hadn't known very well back in wiskayok. he'd been a loner even then. but since he was the coach's son, you'd see him hanging around outside the field. and sometimes, if you were lucky, he'd offer you a wave and an awkward smile. he seemed like a nice guy, aside from that brooding, macho persona he skulked around in. but there was something there. an interest. an attraction. you couldn't place it back then. you wanted to know more about him, though.
nat who's all about acts of service. he's not very good at expressing her feelings, so instead, she shows her love through actions and touch. brushing your arms as he walks by. sliding her hands up your neck while kissing. being the big spoon. she loves doing all of this, and the actions, well... she keeps your guys' shared room tidy! after all, besides the attic sleepers, you're the only people with a room to yourself. might as well keep it sorted. he likes to bring you flowers he finds on her hunts (and maybe she'd even ask one of the other girls to help make you a flower crown). she also steals any and all masculine shirts thrown your way because he knows how you feel about them. and yes, she wears every single one, leaving the more feminine pieces of clothing for you.
travis who isn't very good with his emotions either. go figure! except, dare i say, he's worse at it. in fact, sometimes he doesn't even speak at all due to his nervousness:
"you love me?" you ask, a devilish grin appearing on your face. "you looooove me?"
travis nods, but after a few seconds, a side smile tugs on his lips and he's nodding again and again.
he loves me. he loves me not. he loves me. yes, yes, he does!
now, what else does travis do? well, he's great with making you two laugh! he's quite hilarious once you get him out of his shell. shitty magic tricks, constant jokes and teasing. this guy also makes the best funny faces, and he does this specifically when you're in a bad mood in hopes it'll cheer you up. spoiler: it does! he also loves quality time, whether it's just sitting together with you and nat or eating around the fire, whatever it is, he's happy to just be with you guys.
you who do share your feelings. i suppose you'd have to in order to keep everything together between these two. but you're also a great listener and incredibly attentive! you share the most which makes it seem like you care the most, but this isn't necessarily true. you three just show it all in different ways. on a long day of hunting, nat and travis come back to the cabin, and you kiss them both before sitting down on the bench by the fire. instead of asking how their day went (you learned that it's best not to ask), you let them lay their heads on your lap while you stroke their hair, murmuring:
"it's okay, my angels. you're safe. i got you now. take a breath."
and you might have been afraid to act this way in the real world, back in wiskayok, but out here, you can be yourself. you can be however you want to be. and you choose to be loving. this also earns you the title of being the "mom friend" of the yellowjackets, but that's another post for another time.
now, nat has some gender dysphoria, sure, but hers is a bit different to yours and travis's. and nat knows this, so whenever travis, or you, is having a really low moment, he'll find the other. travis's dysphoria gets so bad some nights, he cries himself to sleep. and it has nothing to do with how he looks, but how he feels. there's some things you just can't change, and it gnaws at him. but you? you understand this feeling all too well and love to be the one to comfort him about it. and vice versa, of course!
so, how do you and travis cope? well...
you who will drag travis down to the lake when it's warmer out. this allows him to wade, shirtless, and just feel cold water on his chest, feel how flat it is. it allows him to breathe. and you love to drag your nails up and down his chest, feeling the little hairs underneath your fingertips. coming here gives you the opportunity to try out that bikini you were too scared to wear. no ones here but you two, after all, and it practically makes travis malfunction. so, so gorgeous. in fact, there are two words travis can get out while you hold each other in the water: fucking beautiful.
you three who like to make out together. you do still kiss each other when it's just two of you, but it feels better when you're all there, all sharing each other. you like to swap spit on the bed in your cabin room, you in the middle, one on either side of you. nat uses a lot of tongue, but she's slow and careful, wanting to savor you. travis is rough and handsy, and nat has to remind him more than once to slow down. nat's focus is on your face and your top half—collarbones, neck, any soft spot he can reach—while travis likes to squeeze your thighs and hold your waist.
(let's just pretend this bed is big enough to hold three people because in my book? nobody sleeps on the floor!1!1!)
now, when you three go to bed at night, cuddling is a must! travis always ends up the closest to the door, the little spoon, while nat insists on being your big spoon. this leaves you sandwiched in the middle where it's safe and warm. travis smells a lot like pine and sandalwood, so you enjoy resting your head against his back, breathing him in. and while you're falling asleep, nat will whisper sweet nothings in your ear, his arm around your middle. this does make travis grumble occasionally, though, playfully complaining:
"can you guys shut upppp? tryna sleep here," he'll say in that half-awake tone of voice.
"aww, you're jealous, trav. well, have i ever told you how much i love your sad eyes and floppy hair?"
"stoppp. 'm tireddd."
and you just giggle as you happily listen to them banter.
nat and travis who go out on smoke breaks together, usually in the plane, and will happily invite you. even if you don't smoke, the second-hand smoke is plenty to pretend like you are. but if you do, nat is happy to offer you some of her remaining marlboros and will light up the cigarette for you.
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A/N: ima slightly write it off my experience of adhd but remember that everyone’s adhd experience is different! 🫶🏾
Tom Riddle
You two are a good opposite duo 🫶🏾
He loves how you rant to him about anything really. He’s listening while somehow reading the book he has
When someone tries to tell you to be quiet. Immediately the room feels a chill.
He may not be pda like you, but he shows his caring side in a different light.
Mattheo Riddle
You like shenanigans, he does shenanigans.
You two are a match made in heaven! ☺️💗 honestly when you stim happily and tap your fingers around. Immediately he shows the same exact energy
He knows you can’t focus well, and shit he can’t either sometimes.
But he will always help you!
Theodore Nott
Is always interested in what you like
Could easily be distracted with you, as long as it doesn’t happen in class
He does find it creepy when you just stand there not blinking..for a long time.
Your sudden burst of energy always gives him serotonin.
Lorenzo Berkshire
Always gives you his hand when you need something to occupy yourself.
Your “out of no where mood swings” either of your period or just the random switch confuse him. But he is supportive.
He understands how you space out a lot and just think about things. He finds it adorable.
He understands how you can’t seem to focus. So he teaches you in a way that you are able to focus and memorize other than give up on you like idiots would.
You're snowed in with your partners on your trip home for the holidays: FTM!Reader x Rabbot Smut
Robby and Jack help you work through your holiday worries.
CW: SMUT, MDNI!!, Anxiety, Panic Attack, mention of unaccepting family, holiday drama, miscommunication, PIV, Anal (Reader Receiving), dp, edging, daddy & sir kink, Oral (Reader receiving), face riding (I think that's it? if you see something not listed, please LMK!)
WC: 2,708
Request: @nocturnalro
“Mornin’, baby,” you heard Robby husk, peppering kisses on your neck and face; his beard scratching lightly against your skin. You grumbled in return, rolling away from him, taking the covers with you. You did a full rotation as you burritoed yourself rolling into Jack’s empty side of the bed.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” Robby laughed, voice still thick with sleep, as he grabbed the edge of the blanket and tugged on it hard, forcing you back into your lover’s arms. He straddled your hips, grinning down at you as you crack your eyes open to glare at the affront to your sleep. While you do have boundless love from your partners. Robby was currently the opposition, preventing you from sleeping.
“Baby, we’re gonna need to get back on the road soon.” He reminded you, “You’ll be able to get plenty of rest in the car.”
You hummed in consideration, eyes fluttering shut. The pit in your stomach grew as you felt a spike in anxiety at the mention of going back on the road. You and your partners were currently road tripping to your hometown to spend the holidays with your family. You were on the last leg of the three-day drive. You were only about twoish hours away now; you’d driven five hours yesterday and the day before. Even if you didn’t voice it, your partners were aware of how anxious you were over the meeting. You’d been dancing around the topic since you planned the trip this past October. It was a catch-22, telling them no may risk the end of your relationship if they felt like you weren’t okay sharing your unconventional relationship publicly. While telling them yes made it so they’d have to meet and face possible rejections from your traditional family.
You wish you’d never gotten the letter from your parents inviting you home, or rather, you wished you’d never given Robby the okay to open it up and read it to you while you were making dinner. You loved your safe little bubble in Pittsburgh, where you could freely choose who was or wasn’t part of your life. You just didn’t want to hurt either of your loves if your family shared negative opinions. I mean, fuck, it took them years to come to terms with you being trans. Jack & Robby’s health and well-being were your top priority. You’d do almost anything to maintain your relationship. So, despite your own anxious feelings, you agreed to the trip.
“C’mon, love, if you get up now, I’ll give you a treat before we hit the road.” He wagered, morning wood pressing up to your belly button from his position sitting on your hips.
“You can do more than a quicky,” Jack interjected, making both you and Robby jump as he gave away his position at the door of the bedroom. The carpeted floors of the Airbnb muffled his steps.
“You’re the one who told me to wake him up,” Robby said, confused.
“That’s before I knew about this,” Jack said, crossing the room and pushing the curtain open. You squinted at the light, eyes widening as a snow-covered scene appeared. It was still coming down fast; at least three inches had built up on the outside ledge of the window.
“I thought it was just supposed to be overcast,” you said, confused. You’d all been keeping an eye on the weather, even taking off a day earlier than planned to beat a storm that’d be present on the outskirts of your planned route.
“Wind changed the predicted route. We’re getting at least another five inches; we’re fully in the red zone on the weather map now. The NWS has a shelter-in-place order until tonight.” Jack replied. Even in your position, you could make out the untouched snow covering the road. There was no way, even in Jack’s truck, that you wouldn’t be able to safely get to your childhood home.
“Shit, I’ll call my parents to let them know we aren’t making it today.” You tried to hold back your relief as Robby shifted off of you, and you grabbed your phone off the bedside table. Another day of travel shortened your stay with your family as you all needed to be back in the Pitt by New Year’s Eve.
The call went about as well as it could have. Your dad may have immediately deadnamed you, definitely not adding to the stress of this trip, but agreeing that it was safest to postpone your visit by a day. His casual referring to you as his daughter was just icing on the cake of the thankfully short call. With a quick, “I love you too, Dad,” you signed off and immediately let out a sigh of relief. You felt anxiety build in your stomach as Robby and Jack stopped talking as you opened the door to the bedroom. The shared look they had made bile rise in the back of your throat.
“Everything okay?” you asked tentatively.
“We wanted to talk to you before getting on the road today. We still want to have that talk if you’re feeling up for it.” Robby said in a calm, neutral tone. Jack immediately clocked your anxiety as you white-knuckled the doorknob.
“You’re not in trouble love,” he reassured.
“Okay,” you nodded, barely containing your emotions. You took a calming breath because if you didn’t, you would start hyperventilating.
“We were wondering why you don’t want us to meet your family,” Jack asked, his tone even as he leaned against the windowsill.
“I-I,” you tried to start.
“We saw how relieved you were when you saw the snow, Honey,” Robby added. Fuck, of course they did.
“Is it us?” Jack prompted, “Are you embarrassed?”
“No, it’s not you. God, it could never be either of you. I just don’t want you to be hurt in any way, and my family has a habit of finding triggers and abusing them. I mean fuck, I was only on the phone with my dad for less than a minute, and he deadnamed me and misgendered me in the same breath.” You said, breath quickening. You fell to your knees as you became slightly lightheaded; you could hear your rapid heartbeat in your ears. You tried to focus on your breathing, but the pounding in your ears only got louder. This was it; they were going to break up with you. You were going to lose them because you couldn’t handle a simple home visit. What was wrong with you?
Before you could have another negative thought, your chin was jerked up by Jack as he held your face in his callused hands. He held your face steady, opening your throat to allow for more air to come through than your previous position of chin to sternum allowed. His worried eyes filled your vision, and the pounding in your ears continued. You saw his mouth moving, but couldn't make out any words. Robby had stationed himself behind you, pulling you back into his lap. His arms wrapped around you in a tight hold, acting in place of your normal go-to weighted blanket in your shared home. Jack removed one of his hands from your face, lightly holding your hand as he pressed your palm to his chest. You automatically began to match the rise and fall of his diaphragm, his heartbeat guiding your own back into a safe range. The pounding lessened after a minute, as you were able to focus in on Jack’s words.
“That’s it, atta boy.” He encouraged, “You’re doing so well, that’s it.”
Once you had calmed down enough to be able to breathe on your own, Robby’s grip loosened, and Jack leaned back, sitting back on his calves in front of you.
“Baby, if this trip was stressing you out so much, why didn’t you tell us?” Jack asked in a calm, hushed voice.
“I just didn’t want to lose either one of you,” you admitted tearfully.
“Why would you lose us?” Robby asked, chin resting on your shoulder.
“My family is very traditional, and I just didn’t want either of you to get hurt. At the same time, I didn’t want to make you think that I’m ashamed of either of you.” You let out through sniffles.
“Baby, you’re gonna have to do a lot more to scare me off. I’d cross no man’s land if it meant spending another second with either of you, even if it was my last.” Jack confessed, looking down at you with an expression that could only be described as love.
“Honey, I’d spend twenty-four hours handcuffed to Gloria if it meant never losing you both,” Robby replied jokingly. You let out a wet laugh and shared a smile with Jack. Knowing that Robby’s statement was as sincere as he was able to handle. His defense mechanism of humor came out like clockwork.
“Nothing your family does will change how we feel about you. We love you so much, baby.” Jack reassured, kissing your forehead.
“I love you too,” you said, breathing fully back to normal.
“Good, how about we get some water and food in you and see how we can fill our time til tomorrow morning. Okay?” Jack asked softly.
“Okay,” you nodded, you untangled yourself from Robby and had a light conversation as Jack made eggs. Luckily were planning on making breakfast before you left, meaning, with your road trip snacks, the fridge was stocked with enough food to last until morning.
“Thanks,” you told Jack as he placed your plate in front of you with a bottle of water. You were mostly a spectator as Robby, and he talked.
“You still doing okay, Honey?” Robby asked, nudging you with his elbow.
“Yeah,” you nodded with a small voice.
“Do you want to go to sleep?” Jack asked,
“No,” you shook your head, still feeling a bit out of it.
“You want Daddy and Sir to take care of you?” Robby prompted, clocking your headspace.
“Yeah,” you nodded, face warming at how transparent your needs were to them.
“Finish up your water bottle and two more big bites of food, then we’ll take over. Okay, Sweetheart?” Jack asked.
“Yes, Sir,” you nodded, slipping deeper into that headspace. Missing the loving smile Robby and Jack shared while looking at you. Once you were done chewing and taking the last swig of your water, Robby whisked you away back to the bedroom. He pulled into a soft kiss as he unbuttoned the top of your PJs set. Lips pulling back as he kissed down your neck, refreshing a fading hickey at the base of your throat. You could only squirm against him and moan as he pulled back his tongue, laving over the fresh bruise.
“You okay, with us touching your chest toda-” he was cut off with a moan as you threaded your fingers into his hair and tugged him down to your nipple.
“Fuck,” he groaned, and you mewed contentedly as his mouth enveloped your now erect nipple. You a moan, punched out of your chest as Jack appeared next to you, kneeling to your right as he sucked on your neglected nipple into his mouth.
“Fuck, please, Daddy,” you cried, grinding up against Robby’s growing erection.
“What would you like, Angel?” Jack prompted, popping off your chest while you pulled, moan after moan from Robby.
“Wanna be full,” you whined, desperately.
“You want Sir to stretch you out so you can take me and Daddy?” he clarified, working your sleep shorts off. It took an immense amount of effort not to rip your new sleep set.
“Fuck,” you moaned as Robby cupped your core, “Yes!”
Robby made his way down to your boxer-covered core as Jack disappeared from your side. You didn’t complain, though, too caught up in Robby licking a firm, hot strip up your seam. He immediately zeroed in on lapping up your wetness, his tongue thrusting into you as his thumb found your clit, circling it just how you liked.
“FUCK,” you panted, rapidly approaching your orgasm under Robby’s focus.
“Daddy! Daddy, please, need it so bad,” you begged, you were right on the cusp, when you lost all contact with Robby. You blinked open your eyes, tears threatening to spill as you took in the sight of Jack holding Robby back by the hair.
“Sir,” you whined, tears spilling down your cheeks.
“Baby, did I say you could cum?” he husked.
“No, Sir,” you sniffled.
“And whose pussy is this?” Jack asked.
“Yours,” you groan, his other arm bracing your hips. Preventing you from getting any relief from rubbing your thighs together.
“That’s right, love you cum on my time. Got it?” he asked, pushing Robby over onto his back.
“Yes,” you whined.
“Yes, what?” he asked, uncapping the lube in his free hand.
“Yes, Sir!” you called out.
“Good boy,” he affirmed, “Now I want you to straddle Daddy’s face, Sir’s gotta prep you.”
You rolled over, knees on either side of Robby’s head, your slow descent onto his mouth was interrupted as he hooked his hands behind your thighs and yanked you down.
“Daddy!” you moan, as his tongue once again fills your core. Just as you adjusted to that, you could feel the cool slickness of Jack’s fingers circling your asshole.
“Fuck,” you groaned as his hot spit found your back opening, before he immediately began to finger fuck it into you. You could hear the rustling of him grinding down against Robby. Robby’s moans stimulated your oversensitive core.
“Daddy, Sir!” you cried as Jack’s pace increased tenfold, equally desperate to be inside of you. You were right there again, clenching around both their fingers when Jack shoved you off to the side, once again stifling your orgasm. You blinked up tearfully as Jack before he pulled you in for a desperate kiss.
“Just wait until you’re full. Then you can cum as much as you’d like.” He promised, also climbing off of Robby. In practiced form, they both stripped as Robby found his way up to the head of the bed. Jack guided you onto Robby’s lap as he leaned back against the headboard.
“You’re gonna take Daddy first,” Jack ordered,
“Yes, Sir,” you confirmed, earning a kiss to the crown of your head as you lowered down onto Robby. You bounced up and down, taking more of him in each go, going as fast as you could without hurting yourself. You shared a moan with Robby as you sat flush with him. A gasp escaped you as the head of Jack’s cock breached your back entrance. You could feel your face warm at the loud, slick sound of the excess lube he used to prep you. It only took a few precise thrusts before you were full of him.
“Ready, love?” he asked, staying as still as possible, cock pulsing in your ass.
“Please, please, Sir, I’m ready,” you whine, air is punched out of your chest as their thrusts alternated, jerking you back and forth so that you were never empty. You only lasted a minute tops before your first orgasm ripped through you, still sensitive from their edging. Neither of them breaks pace as they work you through it. Overstimulated tears run down your face as the pain becomes pleasure again. You lost yourself in the sensation of their cocks filling you, your mind fully going fuzzy. You were now just a vessel for their pleasure. No worldly problems could reach you here. A moan cuts through your whines as Robby cums, filling you to the brim. Jack, ignore your shared pleas, as he continued to fuck you, listening intently for your safe words as you kept a firm grip on Robby’s cock; overstimulating him. You collapsed on Robby’s chest as Jack pulled back, releasing his hot load on your back. You couldn’t complain, too fucked out to acknowledge anything happening around you.
It was a blur as you went from the shower to being dressed in a loose t-shirt and boxer briefs to being enveloped by your partners in bed. Sleep took you as they whispered sweet nothings that you didn’t have to hear to know their overwhelming love for you.
The hair care routine he creates for you goes hard, your honor!
Helps you style it in more feminine ways as you start to grow it out, for sure. He’s that dad on YouTube looking up ‘how to do my daughter’s hair’ videos
You both do hair masks together with opera playing in the background, and it’s so relaxing! He’ll even let you braid his hair if you want practice doing styles yourself.
Everything he knows about femininity he learned from his mom, so he’ll get out her old perfume and hair stuff and give it to you. He feels like now that he has a daughter, he can honor his mother in ways that don’t involve wax
You come downstairs one day wearing Trudy’s old curlers in your hair and his heart twists in his chest when you ask him to help take them out. I did it, mama, he thinks, I have a legacy and she’s wonderful
Lester Sinclair:
Okay cool! … does that mean you don’t wanna go hunting with him anymore? :(
Once you assure him that you still want to, and that your gender doesn’t affect that, he’s perfectly happy. Gets you a pink camo “Dad’s Little Deer-stalker” shirt because he’s corny
Teaches you to fend for yourself so you don’t have to rely on any gross stinky boys (his words), but still insists on doing any butchering himself because it’s his job as your dad to provide for you!
He’s only really ever been around men for most of his life, so he doesn’t really know what to do now that he has a daughter, but he tries his very best!
“That’s my girl!” He whoops when you take down a buck for the first time
Bo Sinclair:
Dare I say girl dad? I’m saying it! You’re his little princess fr! One of those ‘my hands look like this so hers can look like this’ type dads
Takes anything he thinks you might like off of any victims that come through Ambrose- perfume, nail polish, makeup, clothes, even a curling iron!
You want to practice painting nails or doing eyeshadow? He’ll be your practice dummy (even though he’ll complain the whole time, he loves you and wants to make you happy)
I think he’d be willing to put aside a lot of his macho shit for you, tbh! Before you came out, he wanted you to be a strong ‘man’, but when he understands that you’re a girl, he realizes he can’t keep doing that to you and risk making you hate yourself as much as he hates himself. Actively works to be a better man for his daughter.
“What’d’ya think, princess? Does your Dad suit sparkles?” He asks, fluttering his eyelashes exaggeratedly because he knows it’ll make you laugh
Tiffany Valentine:
Did someone say girl’s day out? She’s ecstatic! She already has a trans kid, so one more is literally nothing to her
She’ll help you shop for clothes and do your eyeliner because her daughter is gonna look awesome if she has any say in it! Whatever style you like, it's a full wardrobe makeover
You get mani pedis and gossip about boys/girls/whoever before going bra shopping because ‘every young lady needs a proper first bra’. She squares up with anyone who give you weird looks, total mama-bear style
You guys end up overloaded with bags (did you actually pay for everything, though? Uhhh plead the fifth)
“C’mon, baby, we should stop at Ulta before we leave,” she urges with a big smile, already prancing toward the store
Thomas Hewitt:
Immediately teaching you self-defense! He won’t let his daughter go into the big bad world without being able to defend herself!
Sooo protective of you, almost to a degree that’s stifling. He so much as catches a whiff of someone giving you trouble about your gender? Guess what’s for dinner that night!
You want to date someone? Good luck bringing them home, because he has a chainsaw, a cleaver, and a shotgun :)
One of those ‘my daughter can’t date anyone until she’s thirty’ type dads, and if he catches anyone sniffing around you, he acts quickly and without mercy
He may relent if you give him puppy eyes, though, because he’s a big softie who can’t deny his little girl anything!
18+ starts out as male!reader switches to Female!reader in the second half
Evan Macmillian gives 10/10 head to men and only men. Doesn't matter if that man has a pussy or a dick he enjoys the taste to much too think as he goes to town enjoying the masculine musk testosterone gives inhaling deep doing what he can to get more and more of it on his face. He doesn't just want to smell like you, he wants to reek of you. He wants to hear you moaning as your thighs burn from his beard scratch along your thighs he wanting to have you crush him smothering him with your scent hearing you curse his name.
You give him a woman and tell him to make her finish, he'd do it, but he's not hungry. He thinks to much, hesitates with his touch, the smell estrogen isn't his thing. No if you want someone who loves the taste and smell of a woman the huntress is your gal best head a woman could want she's even kind enough to top you calling her good girl as she has you bent in half her strap sliding in and out making you feel good. She's just cooing in your ear whispering sweet nothing in her native tongue.
No this is not me returning this is me being horny for dbd. I don't know if or when I'll even return but I will post randomly.
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I know you’ve done a lot of Ronin comforts for FtM readers with dysphoria but what about the other way around, MtF reader ♥️🐝
Smudged Eyeshadow.
Ronin x MtF!reader, helping his pretty girl with dysphoria, comfort scenario
Words: 1363
Cws: spoilers for Killer Chat, gender dysphoria, transphobia
Your room was a mess. Dresses, skirts and shirts thrown all around the floor, leaving barely any space for walking, some jewelry laying on your desk, tangled and scattered. Talking about your make up kit was useless, it was all messed up, just like the make up you were putting on yourself so precisely just moments ago.
You had a wonderful day, really, nothing was going wrong for you today. At least until you were met with your online interview with one of the top pop stars.
At first the interview was going smoothly, they were nice, answered all your questions, even joked a little. The thing that ruined the interview for you was the sudden shift in their behaviour. From smiling and joking, they started asking uncomfortable questions.
("Do you enjoy pretending to be a woman? Does it help you get off? Is this just a way for you to not feel ashamed of liking men? Do you just want to watch women in bathrooms and this is your excuse? Oh, I can see the signs of your beard, I think you should play dress up better.)
Their words were full of melice. They were nothing short of insults and transphobic remarks. And these weren't even the most hurtful things that person said to you.
You felt so heartbroken, so weak, so disgusted. The comments about your appearance were the worst, the amount of things they pointed out that were not feminine enough in you was terrifyingly large. It made you upset to say the least.
You were obsessively putting on make up, trying out every single dress you owned, brushed your hair and tried to style them.
But that was still a man in your mirror. A man dressed up in pretty dresses with tears running down his cheeks and ruining his make up.
The ache in your heart was too real to just be your imagination. It felt like your heart was being crushed with your dreams. Like the sky had just collapsed and broke all possibilities of you becoming who you knew you were.
A woman.
You were crying on the floor, hugging your dressed to your chest and simply crying your heart out.
What did taking hormones and seeing doctors mattered when people were still looking in flaws in your appearance?
You were weak. A weak naive girl for hoping that others would ever see you as a real woman.
Your phone buzzed suddenly, you sat up wiping your eyes with your hands and ignoring how much you've just messed your already damaged make up.
<goreboy> [13:47]
how's The Prettiest girl doin'?
cause this guy Wants to see his Gf
You smiled a little bit seeing the messages, it was a weak smile, but it was there.
Ronin was one of the not many people who truly saw you as a woman, not just as someone pretending to be one. He gave you closure, understood you, stood up for you and let you be yourself.
"Maybe I should tell him about this... incident too..." You whispered to yourself, grimacing when you heard your voice. It was too low.
<reader.username> [13:48]
I'm not doing well...
<goreboy> [13:48]
spill your Guts baby
i'm here to Listen, remember?
You took a deep breath before hitting the "record" button next to the text box.
"There was this one pop star I was interviewing. They were nice at the beginning, super friendly and all that. But... but then they..." Your voice broke, you were shaking, not wanting to finish the sentence but you pushed through. "they called me all sorts of names Ronin, they fucking hurt. Now," you chuckled bitterly through the tears, "I'm seeing on the floor like a damn mess and cry about all the shit they called me. And the worst part? I, I start to think that they were right."
You sent the message, completely breaking down again. You didn't even see all the messages Ronin sent you after you put your phone on the floor.
<goreboy> [13:52]
that motherfucker
they better fuckin' pray i won't get to them first thing after that interview is out
you're at your place right?
Y/n?
Y/n answer
never mind i'll be there soon
After a short while that felt more like hours, a knock came to your door. You slowly got up from your floor and made your way to the front door. When you opened them, you were greeted by a bouquet of pink peonies and a bag full of your favourite snacks being held out to you.
"A devilish delivery service for a certain beautiful girl." Ronin said, a lazy smirk on his lips.
You were looking at him with widened mouth. "What is this?" You asked, quickly trying to wipe your face to maybe save yourself from looking like a human panda, but you were most likely too late already.
"What? 's for you. What boyfriend would I be if I didn't come by in a red light alarm." He invited himself inside. "You better put these into a vase filled with water." He said and gave you the bouquet, making his way to the bedroom.
You numbly listened, setting the flowers in a vase next to your bed. You turned around and saw Ronin slowly cleaning your floor. "You know I can do it myself later?"
He looked at you and shrugged before hanging another dress back to the wardrobe. "Nah, you went through shit amount of emotional labour already." He said and looked at the rest of the clothes. "I'll clean 'em later." It was more a loud said note for himself rather than something he said to you.
Ronin took some wipes and a make-up remover from your desk, slowly making his way to you. He sat you down on the bed and put some of the make-up remover on the wipes.
"Close your eyes." He whispered, you listened.
This was a quiet moment, Ronin removing the mess of a make up you were wearing and you just sat here, slowly calming down. He set his little make up artiste kit away and lay down on your bed, pulling you into a hug and letting you keep your face in the crook of his neck.
"Tell me, how'dya feel, pretty." He murmured.
You took a long and shaky breath before you started talking. "I feel so fucked up right now. Like someone took a knife and did what those guys in Jennifer's Body did to Jen." You replied, following by Ronin's chuckle after your reference to the movie. "They made me doubt myself Ro. I don't know if I truly will ever be a woman, if I will be recognised as one. This all is so fucking messed up and confusing. I just want to be able to express myself and be free in my own identity."
Ronin rubbed your back with his hand, letting you talk your mind out in silence and when you were done it was his turn to talk. "Y'know, you are allowed to embrace it. The freedom. You are a woman, baby. Pink bows or dirt and blood, doesn't really matter. So what if people can see that you had to shave or that your shoulder are a tad bit wider? Your identity isn't just your body, there's no rules to how you're supposed to look like as a woman. It'd be fucking boring if all people looked in one specific way." He paused, twirling your hair around his finger.
"You're a gorgeous woman, especially when you're pissed and ready to stab me to death." He whispered into your ear, you smacked him with your hands and he just chuckled. "Point is, you are a woman no matter how you look like now. I don't care, Angel, Misaki, V and the rest of the loser squad doesn't care. We see you for who you are for not how you look."
You looked at him, tears gathering in your eyes.
"And you are one beautiful woman, don't let anyone take that from you, yeah darlin'?"
Half Saint half Sinner, but even The Butcher will care about his lady when she's in distress.
