#jasico

Even with his eyes remaining closed, the all too familiar fluorescent lights blind his senses before feeling the draught in his throat. Something is being pressed on his lips and he opens his mouth in reflex as water makes its way to his stomach. He tries to ask for more water but his voice cracks. He feels the glass again and gulps down in relief as he tastes brownies that he and Jason would often eat at Camp Jupiter. He recalls a time when he would taste soup that his sister would make when he gets sick. He no longer remembers the flavour but he thinks of it fondly. 

The nectar soothes his body enough for him to comprehend the noise clutter of the infirmary. He's heard this before. He winces as he recognizes that irritating nagging voice but can't process whatever he's blabbering. 

“—Shaaht hap, Will.” It gives Nico satisfaction that he has enough energy to say that despite being mildly incomprehensible. “Please.” 

Will sighs, “Har har, Nico this is serious.” 

He scoffs. As if he doesn't know that. It's so fucking serious, he might as well pack his things and knock on his dad's doorstep. He looks around because Will's mothering face is pissing him off. It's not necessarily a soothing sight immediately after passing out from hurling his guts. 

He pouts as he checks the vicinity without thought. 

“Don't look so disappointed Nico, He refused to leave your side till I forced him.” 

Nico huffs because being in love is so predictable that he didn't realize he was expecting to see the other blonde. Then he remembers the absolute disaster that was last night. Maybe it's for the best that he's not here, it gives Nico some time to think what possible reason he could say about the coughing, the blood, the flowers, and worse not telling his best friend sooner. He squints his eyes towards Will in suspicion, who crosses their arms in return.

“Hey, don't look at me like that. I'm the one that saves your ass every time this happened.” The doctor got him there and Nico is immensely grateful. Will gives him some ambrosia. They've done this enough times that it's routine at this point. 

“That's literally your job.” Nico points out as he takes the ambrosia in one bite. 

“Oh thank you so much, Will. For healing me despite refusing to do anything to save myself.” Will mumbles in a mocking voice. 

“Thank you.” He mumbles low and Will knows he means it. Despite the rough patch in their relationship, Nico is glad that they're still okay, that they're still friends after everything that went down between them. It was definitely weird for a while but they found their footing again. 

“Nico.” He knows that tone. 

“Will, you know that I can't.” He shakes his head. 

“Jason adores you.” Nico panics and glares at Will at the mention of his name. He checks around the room to see if anyone else could hear them. 

“Yeah, like he adores every single one of his friends.” 

Will groans, “He’s different with you, you know it.” 

Nico purses his lips. Maybe, but that doesn't mean it's romantic. He just has a weird attachment to Nico is all. He refuses to let Jason drown in guilt because Nico isn't satisfied with their already overwhelmingly close friendship. Heck, he wouldn't be surprised if Jason forces himself to fall in love with Nico just so he doesn't lose him. Nico would rather die. He's gone through these thoughts again and again, and had conversations with Will about it again and again. It's making him sick.

Will rushes to him with a bucket. His ear rings as he hurls tiny buds covered in blood. Will is patting his back as he coughs out a few more, some buds sprouting a few little petals. A glass of water is shoved to his face. 

Nico drinks in one gulp, Will pours him another. He stares at the clear liquid because he knows if he looks at the son of Apollo he'll only see pity. 

Will sighs, “You should have seen him, I never knew he could make a face like that.” He takes the bucket and inspects the buds before properly disposing of them. 

“You can't keep this up, Nico.” Will takes a seat beside him. “Your body can't take another physiological collapse and I don't even need to use my powers to see that” 

Nico drinks more water and closes his eyes. He can sense his own aura flickering, he knows he doesn't have enough time anymore... That's a bit disappointing, he still wants to have fun with everyone. 

“Nico, I can't handle seeing you like this.”

“Well, you won't have to any longer.” 

“That's not funny.” 

“I wasn't trying to be.” 

They both stayed quiet for a while. Will starts singing a hymn to his father; another fruitless attempt to rid of the disease but it is comforting. It feels a bit nostalgic having Will fuss over him but he's genuinely like that with all of his patients. A doctor with a big heart. He looks towards Will continuously singing in deep concentration and wonders if they hadn’t rushed into things, if they had started to get to know each other as friends first, if he was less troubled that things would be different. 

“You’ve always had a really nice voice.” Will stops singing and abruptly stands up, startling Nico. 

“No.” Will says firmly, shaking his head. 

“No?” 

“Nuh, we are not doing this.” He makes a gesture between the two of them. 

“Er…”

Will continues to shake his head, “You’ve always had a really nice voice—” squeakily repeating Nico’s statement, “Get the fuck over yourself, Nico.”

What the Hades, he's the one dying here. “Excuse me?” he says incredulously. 

He points at Nico, “You don't get to say that.” Will looks betrayed shifting his gaze to the side, like he couldn't bear to look at Nico “... As if—.” The blonde couldn't finish his sentence. 

“As if I'm dying?”

“As if you've given up!” 

Will drags his hands over his face and clasps them together. “This is actually ridiculous. What are you so scared of?”

Nico lays his palm at the side of his face. “Tight, enclosed spaces… Shits get me claustrophobic.” 

Will frowns because he knows what Nico means. “Stop trying to change the topic.” 

“But it's true.” Nico grunts. 

“You mean everything to him, Nico.” 

“You don't know what the hell you're talking about.” 

“Yes I do! I know cause—”

“Is that how you talk to all your patients, Solace?” Nico's heart races hoping Jason didn't hear the previous conversations, he avoids the blonde’s eye contact in fear of finding out. 

“Oh good you're here.” Will's voice goes back to normal. Nico gives him a warning glare, Will returns the expression. “... And no, I only talk like that to patients who are keen on dying.”

Nico rolls his eyes, “You're so dramatic.” 

Will huffs and crosses his arms. “If you don't tell Jason, I will.” 

“What the fuck?” 

“Nico can tell me in his own time.” 

“If he's got time.” Will grumbles, “Nico, tell him.” 

“It's alright, Neeks. You can tell me when you're comfortable.” 

“Oh don't pretend you weren't begging me to tell you what happened yesterday.” Will says unimpressed and looks between them, “I'm tired, I'll give you some privacy so please talk.” He massages his temples before turning to leave, giving Nico one last pointed look. 

“Thinks he knows what's best for everyone.” Nico mumbles, “Just because he's the son of Apollo, passed med school,  has healing powers… annoying ass sunshine.” Nico sighs as Jason quietly takes a seat next to his bed. 

He feels the tension, for the first time the silence between them doesn't feel comfortable. “Just ask. I know you want to.” 

“I don't want to force you if you don't want to tell me.” 

“No, you should… you deserve to know.” Nico pushes himself to finally look at Jason, somehow he doesn't look as bright as he usually does. He knows it's because of him, he wouldn't deny that. 

He doesn't even know where or how to start. “I’m… I— this is difficult to say.” 

Jason reaches for his hand and Nico squeezes it to ground himself despite the immediate irritation he feels in his throat. He needs this. “I don't—” it comes out dry and he laughs which was more of a cough. Jason rubs his hand with his thumb soothingly. Will is right, this is fucking ridiculous. “... Maybe I should let Doc. Solace explain haha.” 

“I wanna hear it from you though.” Jason pouts. 

“What difference does it make?” 

“I'm your best friend.” 

“Yeah… you are.” he says, opening an old wound. Nico wonders if Jason can feel the weight behind those simple words. The first time the blonde had told him. Nico had been so happy he’d choked on his own saliva out of embarrassment. Maybe that was also the moment he had swallowed this seed of unrequited love. The thought makes him cringe. Nico lets Jason's hand go. 

“I have Hanahaki.” He says, not so much as ripping off a bandaid but more of it falling on its own after days of wearing. 

Jason, his first best friend, his first love, and his last heartbreak. 

“Every inch of my body just wants to run into the comfort of the shadows.” He turns his head away from Jason, he's not sure if it's of shame or of fear, “But I'm back again, fucking up. Returning to these old habits because it's so hard to lie to you or keep you from the truth.” His voice shakes but miraculously there's no itch, no cough, no floral disease blocking his confession. It's on him, no excuses. “This would be so much easier if you were mad. I wished you would be a little more frustrated with me. I wish you wouldn't be as patient so I can have an excuse to fuck off.” He laughs, hugging himself because he doesn't trust his body to not reach the closest shadows. 

“I-I'm your best friend,” He damns himself and that's just it, if it was anyone else maybe Nico could have chosen himself instead, maybe he could follow doctor's orders, confess or take the surgery. It's not anyone else though, it's Jason. 

End

NOTES: Posting this here before I rewrite it and add more for Jason because I feel like the tone is too doomed right now. Just wanted it to be somewhere while I rework it as something I'd put up on my AO3. I also wanted to check if it's anything people would read but I'll continue working on this anyway! I miss Jasico dearly <33 and thought since every ship has a hanahaki au and I haven't read one for them yet hehe