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Adults of Tumblr: If you are trying to imitate the Youth of Today and you jokingly tell your kids, “I left your dad on read,” please note that verb is past tense, not present!
That is, it sounds like “I left him on red,” not “I left him on reed.”
Saying it wrongly will get you mocked loudly by your children.
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This is gonna sound like really weird advice, but don't do special K and then put a ml of hydrogen peroxide in your ear.
Learn from my fail: do not unscrew a heavy glass lampshade above your head while propped between a stepladder and the wall in extended puppy pose. Cos what you get, right, is a heavy glass lampshade and about twenty years' worth of dust, plaster and spider-moults to the face.
🌵UPDATE🌵 Does anyone remember my poor, sunburned aloe? It’s doing much better now!! 💚💚💚 . . . . #beforeandafter #oneyearlater #aloe #indoorgarden #indoorgardening #growyourown #growyourownmedicine #cautionarytale #LFMF #succulents #plantpowered #plantbased #plantmedicine #helpfulherbs #garden #gardening #garden2018 #onelove #intention #awareness #naturalmagic
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"This painting was salvaged from the paint flood of '09. As you can see, the damage reached up to four feet, but we just couldn't part with this picture of meemaw."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Microwave
Microwaving a pie that is not meant to be microwaved is kind of an exercise in stamina, because what emerges from the microwave looks kind of like a hard boiled jellyfish without tentacles.
i got fed up with the signup process for my po box and all the dumb security questions they asked so i made up a bunch of bullshit answers and long story short just always put answers you’ll actually remember instead of being a smartass
Goddamn
The amount of quality control checks I've done on these fake nails is fuckin' ridiculous - Test the top coat on the water transfer - Test the base colour - Test the base colour on the nails - Test the bendiness of the fake nails - Test the sellotape on the base colour - Test the nail glue - Test the nail glue on my hand - Test the amount of pain the nail glue inflicts on skin - Test the amount of swearing this causes - Test the amount of water needed to make it better - Test the nail glue on my actual nail The things I'm doing for these nails Least they look good tho
