A/N: I was just daydreaming abt zombieman cuz I love him so much and thought of this scenario so why not have it with the rest of these guys (and boy)
this can be viewed both platonically and romantically, except child emperor, he’s purely platonic ofc
SAITAMA
When you first call him, and you hesitate a bit while trying to explain you situation since it’s slightly embarrassing for you, he rushes you then gets a bit worried thinking it might be something serious
he then proceeds to say “seriously…?” When you finally tell him why you’re calling: there was a spider in your house and you were too scared to do anything but stand on top of your table, keeping a wary eye out incase the soider tries to approach.
At first he was about to decline and tell you to just squish it with a shoe, or trap it under a cup and throw it out your window, but when he hears the actual fear in your voice, he sighs and puts on his slippers. He’s supposed to save people and stuff after all…
Surprisingly, when Saitama arrives to kill the creature… he sucks at it. It keeps just escaping from him, no matter how fast or strong he was.
Saitama started to grow mad with every passing second, trashing your house as he jumped from spot to spot trying to catch the thing, with you pointing and yelling frantically from your safe-zone on the table.
”IT’S RIGHT THERE, NO- NO- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU AIMING AT, SAITAMA?! YOU SUCK AT THIS- OH MY- ITS RIGHT THERE, KILL IT!!!” -You “STOP YELLING YOU’RE MAKING ME LOSE FOCUS.” -Saitama
Your house quickly becomes almost like a war-zone with both of you yelling at eachother from the top of your lungs, you out of panic and him out of frustration.
Saitama eventually squishes the spider…. Then an army of tiny spiders erupts from it.
Saitama tries to deal with them quickly, throwing punches at all of them.
when he’s done, he turns to you with a fulfilled expression on his face but deadpans once he catches you lying passed out on the table and foaming at the mouth.
Ofc he takes you to the hospital though.
GENOS
Unlike Saitama, he takes it very seriously when you call him and tell him the predicament you're in.
He doesn’t quite understand the big issue, it's just a bug… but he can detect when someone is in distress, and either way, he would do anything you ask of him.
When he arrives at your home, he’s already gathered enough information on how to safely deal with spiders to take the best approach he can to this.
he grabs a glass container and a piece of paper, proceeds to efficiently trap the spider, and throws it outside.
He does listen to your instructions though and releases it at least a kilometer away from your home.
He then comes back to check on you and gives you a small, almost pitiful, pat on the back.
”Don’t worry about it, you did good.” -Genos, with his very stoic expression
ZOMBIEMAN
MY MUSEEEE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
Sorry, anyhow, when you call him, your voice is obviously on edge, and you tell him what’s wrong. The first he does is reassure you over the phone, telling you everything will be fine and he’ll be right there.
And as he said, he was right there.
He checks up on you when he first enters the house, then goes to search for the spider.
When he finds it, he ALMOST stomps on it with his shoe out of surprise but quickly remembers how it’ll probably cause a bigger problem, and like genos he uses the good old glass container and paper method and throws it out.
After that, he helps you get down from the table, with his hands firmly holding you from your sides.
If you’re still uneasy even after he gets rid of the spider, he’ll give you a reassuring embrace, with his large build basically consuming you.
He then takes you out somewhere nice to eat.
SPEED-O’-SOUND SONIC
Ahhh, speed of the sounds
Calls you stupid at first, and tells you to just kill it or leave it be, its more scared of you than you are of it.
But not a second later he’s at your door and asking where the spider is.
He REALLY doesn’t get what the big deal is, it’s just a spider. Nonetheless, he doesn’t really question it much and helps out anyway.
He grabs the spider gently with his hands and throws it out the window, then flashes you an unamused look.
Again, he calls you weak but then tells you not to worry so much when you have someone like him around.
FLASHY FLASH
Sassy flash
He’s irked by your call, then hangs up on you
….
He then calls you again not a second later and asks if you’re actually panicking, and when you say yes, suddenly he busts down your door.
He HATES spiders. But that doesn’t mean he can’t deal with them
thanks to a previous encounter he had with the creature, he learned killing them is a bad idea.
So he hesitantly kept trying to get the spider under the damn cup, but every time he did and it would move, he’d dash to the other side of the room instinctively, releasing the spider once more.
It takes him about 10 tries to finally get the spider out of the house.
After making sure that you’re ok, he then tells you to never waste his time on such ridiculous things ever again
he doesn't mean it though, don’t worry, he’d do it again for you
CHILD EMPORER
He is scared of spiders too
Reluctantly he shows up at your house.
He tries to act tough but you can clearly see the sweat running down his face as he uses his robotic equipment to slowly look under the couch for the spider.
When he finally catches it, he screams, prompting you to scream, and blasts the area of the spider with a laser beam.
the both of you stare intently at the area of the blast and let out a sigh simultaneously as the ash clears and the arachnid has been successfully vaporized.
You both give each other a pat on the back for being so brave
Then you offer to take child emperor to a nearby store and get some ice cream together
he happily obliges and you both skip out of the destroyed apartment with your hands intertwined.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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/ Louvca tiene el "don" de modificar su entorno ya sea por su estado de ánimo o por que quiso, hay veces en las que su "don" se sale de control y termina lastimandose o manifestando sus pensamientos de buena o mala manera /
Espero que les guste el dibujo tanto como a mí, fue mi primera vez haciendo un fondo que está decente xD y descubrí que me gusta dar brillo con colores saturados @w@
✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤ ¡¡SI REBLOGUEAS Y LE DAS 💟 ME AYUDARÍAS MUCHÍSIMO!! ✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤✮✤
The leader of the squad. Decent leadership potential, but his military future was tempered by a strange anti-authoritarian streak. Genuinely cares for the soldiers under his command.
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Imagine a crack fic which is literally... Puri-Puri's dating tips 🌚🌚🌚
"So, you want to know the secrets of picking up unsuspecting specimens?" A clink echoed in the sealed room as Puri-puri prisoner carefully lowered his teacup against the tiny plate cupped in his contrastingly large hand.
"That is not what I asked-"
"well, sure it was, you've got 'hopeless romantic' written all over you." He cut you short, his posture laid-back as if the interrogation room drew out no sense of panic or worry in him, a normal reaction you’d see on most— if not all your work hours.
You had been called in the late hours of a Wednesday night to interrogate the famous hero for another one of his infamous… incidents, if you will. The hero association granted him extra privileges, noting the finely crafted matching tea set with a plate of tiny sandwiches before him, in the interrogation room, and before you: the esteemed detective of this case.
You were almost positive that if he wanted to, he could slip past these allegations with a few pulled strings from the H.A., but, from what you’ve heard from your colleagues, the fine hero wanted to be judged fair and square for his crimes in the name of ‘justice’.
(your colleagues heard him mutter something about how ‘his lovely boys in prison must have missed him’)
You certainly had your work cut out for you tonight.
"Quite the assumption, Mr puri." You spoke firmly. "But let's focus on the matter at hand."
"Your single-ness?" He brought the teacup to his lips.
"Your crimes." You countered.
“Oh, I get it now!” He perks up slightly, his large build straightening as he peered down at you. “You need dating advice.”
He leaned down a bit and winked.
“no-“
“You just got dumped, didn’t you?” He looked at you with something akin to sympathy.
“Mr. Puri. My personal matters do not concern this.” You said with an involuntary twitch of your lip.
“There’s no need to be ashamed. We’ve all been there.” He places the cup down and flashes a prideful smile along with a fiery flex of his triceps, causing his sleeves to rip to shreds. You covered your eyes and squinted as a bright light shone from him. “But don’t fret, you’ve come to the perfect lover-boy for advice!”
You blinked in disbelief. ‘Lover boy..?!’
“You’ve gotta take care of yourself, in general really. Making sure that your mentality is clear and confident, and is only emphasized further by your outward appearances, guarantees that your partner will stay head over heels for you.” He interjected anything meaningful you were about to say.
“People like confident lovers, not sulky ones, unless you’ve got one of those mentally ill partners— Stay away from those, they’ll ruin you.”
“You better maintain your shimmy too, make sure to maximize your assets.” He flexed his arms again, the exposed muscles bulging with veins. It made you grimace. “If nothing else works, you can always flash em’! Sometimes you’ve gotta show them what they’re missing out on.
“That much can be said about my dear boyfriends. They can be so silly at times. How adorable.” He let out a dreamy sigh and shook his head with a smile. You could’ve sworn you saw a few illusions of tiny pink hearts fluttering around him.
“right…” you coughed into your fist. “So about—“
“Don’t forget to love yourself, you can’t expect anyone to appreciate you if you can’t even appreciate yourself.” He winked, one hand pointing at you while the other rested over his chest.
“That’s real sweet.” You responded rigidly. Before you could attempt to stir the conversation back to the case, an alarm blared from outside, causing you to flinch.
“That’s my queue!” He shot up from his seat. “Better go make sure no cute boys get attacked by any monsters, that would be such a tragedy!”
“hey, wait! You can’t just—“
He busted through the door. Before he left, he turned to you with a charming smile.
“don’t forget: love is a battlefield, with strength and courage, and a bit of assets, you’ll be sure to win!” He gave you a thumbs-up, then he was gone before you could even process his words.
FEMALE!reader, and you've never done it with any of them
A/N; I don't know??? I really don't??? Im rlly bored.
You and your precious friend Yea Miko, were having a normal conversation like any other set of friends, but then the seemingly usual friendly conversation had turned into Miko daring you to do a rather hilarious thing in her perspective, and you being the daredevil that you are, you accepted the challenge rather gleefully.
—Arataki Itto
"I'm pregnant, and its yours." You blurted, holding the most gunt expression you could muster.
"Woah, dude, no way! I'm gonna have an Oni son!" A wide grin stretched across his features. "I'm gonna be an Oni dad!" You blinked at him, not expecting his rather non-cholent reaction.
"No! Arataki, I was joking!" You laughed, abandoning your facade. "We never did it before how can it be yours?" He cocked a brow in puzzelment.
"Did what before?" He asked. You let out another laugh, thinking he was simply messing around, but when you caught the look on his face that only displayed genuine confusion, your laughter ceased.
"Haha... You know... It. The... uh baby ritual...?" You awkwardly stated, your smile fading as the perplexed look on his face stretched. His eyes blew wide and his features contorted into one of surprise.
"There's a ritual to make babies?!" He exclaimed, almost excitedly.
"No... yes... When the woman gets her egg and the man gets his... thing fluid thingy..." You murmured. He gasped.
"You guys lay eggs?!" He said. Your features twisted into one of pure disbelief. "That's cool! Can we do that too?"
'This literally can't be real.' You grimaced.
—Gorou
"Hey, Gorou." You walked into the almost inhabitant bar, sitting beside your oblivious victim.
"Oh, hello! Good to see you again." He perked up at your presence. Something close to bitterness pooled under your tongue, and perhaps the slightest hint of guilt. You cleared your throat and put on your distressed front, getting into character.
"I have something to tell you..." You looked away from him. He frowned, confused by the rather dramatic act.
"Yeah?" He said.
"I'm pregnant." You let out, turning to look at him rather dramatically. I almost laughed when the bartender flashed an almost-knowing look.
"Oh. Congra-!"
"It's yours." You were almost astounded by how quick his face morphed into a look of sheer, utter horror. The air stilled and the atmosphere fell silent, the only sound heard wLas the bartender's uncomfortable coughing. You masked your laugh with a fake sniffle, pulling out a handkerchief from your pocket and drying your imaginary tears with it.
"HUH!?" He yelled, backing up in his seat. "It can't be mine! We never...!"
"We did!" You exclaimed, covering your face. "We were both drunk and-"
"What!?" He yelled again, backing up even further. "No no no I don't do that, I don't get drunk."
"But it's true...! We were both sooo drunk, and then you picked me up- bridal style- and took me back to my home, then you started taking off your-"
"Enough!!" he fell off the chair, his face growing pale.
"Oh, but Gorou dear-"
"This can't be happening." He muttered, staring at nothing.
"Oh, dear... Can you fetch me a glass of water, please?" You turned to the bartender, who looked mildly concerned but decided it was best to mind his business. He quickly retrieved a glass of water and placed it on the counter as you kneeled down next to the Gorou and helped him up, using all your strength to quill back your chuckle.
"Let's talk about this sensibly.." You muttered as you passed him the glass of water. He quickly snatched it from your grasp, his eyes looking anywhere but at yours with his face completely flushed.
"We both made a terrible mistake that day, and... made something else in the process..." You didn't miss how he tensed up. "But we must bare responsibility for it!"
"Right... You're right.." He sighed, his gaze still averted from yours. "But are you sure you're pregnant? and are you sure it's mine!?!?" He desperately asked.
"Yes, I am sure, I haven't slept with any other man." You confessed. "Anyway, onto the matter at hand, I've already decided what we're going to name it!"
"Huh...?" He gawked at you, telepathically asking if you were being serious. "B-but we still need to figure out other things!! Like- do we get married!? and if we don't what do we tell the others!? and- oh archons... what am I going to tell her excellency...?" He clutched at his hair.
"Oh, that's just unnecessary details." You waved your hand dismissively at him.
"But-"
"So I was thinking, if it's a boy we're going to name him, 'You've been', and if it was a girl we'd name her 'Pranked'."
His mouth fell agape.
—Heizou
"I'm pleased to have you invite me to your humble abode, but I do have some business to attend to soon so I might have to leave... soon..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Why the long face?" You shook your head.
"Don't worry about it, please have a seat" You patted the empty space on the couch next to you, and he gladly guided himself to his assigned seat. You pulled both his hands in yours prompting him to properly face you.
"Heizou, I have to tell you something very important." You stated, giving him a stern look.
"Go right ahead, I'm all ears." He flashed you another one of his charismatic smiles.
"I'm pregnant, and it's yours." His expression sure did change, but you couldn't tell what thought laid behind his deadpanned eyes.
"...Um? Heizou?" You snapped your fingers in front of his face.
"Ah! Yes! well... um..." He pursed his lips together as glanced at something behind you.
You gasped as he jumped up from his seat and sprinted past you, leaping out of your window and scurrying away from your home.
"YOU BASTARD!!" You yelled out from your window. "This makes me think like he's done this to someone else before..."
—Wanderer (In other words, Scaramouche)
You sucked in a breath as the man covered in striking blue attire stared at your form, his expression full of disdain. He doesn't appreciate his precious time being wasted by some mortal, however, he doesn't hold much resentment toward you to shoo you away.
"Thank you for hearing me out." You said.
"Yeah yeah, just get on with it." He clicked his tongue, crossing his arms.
"I'm pregnant... and it's yours." You revealed, your eyes downcast. You slowly peaked your eyes up when the infamous wanderer kept silent for longer than expected, and was greated by a judgmental glare.
"What do you take me for?? an idiot?" He hissed, his scowl deepening.
"Whatever do you mean?" You placed a hand over your chest.
"You think I can't see through your facade??" He glared.
"I don't understand-"
"I'm a puppet, (Y/n), for Archon's sake! I don't produce semen." He waved his hand out in exaggeration, showcasing his frustration. Your lips parted then clamped shut, realization setting in.
"Oh..." You scratched your cheek. "I didn't think of that..."
