Possibly controversial opinions followed by some Headcanons/fragments because they're fun:
**Sam was accidentally written as an incredible allegory/parallel for gay folx, but also trans women. Lbr, Sam is woman-coded in so many ways.
**Additionally, Jack really does see Sam as his mom. He loves and misses Kelly, but Sam is Mommy.
**Sam tracked down Mia and actually did therapy for Years before becoming a father later-ish in life.
**No way Sam became a cop. He wouldn't last 2 months in a real PD. He's too moral.aybe if he worked for Donna or Jody. But otherwise?? Nah
**Mary Winchester was a lesbian but she and John got shot by the cupids so they could breeeeeeeeeeed. She got off fine with men (like Ketch) but REAL attraction? Real desire? Yeah, no, that's not a man's woman.
**Chuck decided that Sam and Dean needed to be soulmates to keep on plan.
**I genuinely think their continued enmeshment is proof that Chuck won in the end. Like, That's literally why they're bound. They didn't get a choice.
**Dean puts it all together eventually that the only reason he thought he was straight was because he was forced into it. He finds some other versions of himself around the multiverse. Versions where - in that universe - Him and Sam weren't the main characters. To the man they're all gay or bi. 4 of them marry Jimmy Novak. 2 of them end up running a bar in Oklahoma with their partner, Lee. One of them was a merman who fell in love with the lighthouse keeper Castiel. One was an astronaut who fell in love with his spaceship AI/synthezoid , Cas-T1eL.
Needless to say, he uses his "incredible pattern recognition skills" to use to realize he's fucking Queer and always had been.
**Dean definitely made extra money doing sex work. He's surprisingly not WILDLY traumatized by it. Like, a bit yeah, but like...less than he should be? I mean, he found a pile of dead children when he was like, 12, jerking a trucker off for 20 bucks at the age of 17 is nothing. (It's not, but that's how he'd rationalize it, the man is not healthy)
**Also, most of them were women who didn't feel safe with most other people, but a sweet, charming boy who looked like he couldn't hurt a fly? Yeah, they'll spend some cash and get the kid a hot meal and a shower in exchange for some one-on-one time (gross, but it happens a lot actually) Also, it does kind of lean into his mommy issues. Sure his daddy issues are sky high, but he wouldn't easily trust another man with his body, and LBR, if anything happened to him, he would NOT want John Winchester finding him like that. At least not alive. Besides, a nice older lady telling him how good he's doing and giving him food and money and maybe a little extra to take back to sammy? Please.
*Sam is horrified when he's going through an old pawn shop (one final case before he turns it all in before the baby comes) and he sees some sleazy home-spun zine from like 1996 and it's open on the counter and Dean is staring up at him, in all his late-teenaged glory. Sam didn't know he did anything like that. He suspected a few times, but he never had confirmation.
He'll never admit it, but (look he's not a creep, he's NORMAL) BUUUT...he did think that Dean was gorgeous in those pictures. Yes he bought the magazine, no he doesn't jerk off to it, but he DOES look at it sometimes and think, 'we were young once. we were beautiful. I hope he felt beautiful when he did this. Please, god don't let this have hurt him...'
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the fact it’s canon that dean and john were stalking sam at stanford….they’re such pathetic, obsessive creeps
and then if you remember john mentioning (in his journal) how much sam reminds him of mary….no wonder sam’s absence made him so angry & hurt (“your brother and me, we needed you!”)
It was an old thing, white cotton, simple, left behind in a box of things John couldn't throw away. Sam found it one night, rummaging for blankets in the storage unit. He held it up, curious, and John's chest seized.
"Was that Mom's?"
John nodded.
Sam pressed the fabric to his face and inhaled. Closed his eyes. Let out a breath like he'd been holding it his whole life.
"I never knew how she smelled like," Sam whispered. "This is it."
John watched his son stand there, so young and soft and so painfully Mary's. He watched the thin cotton slip through Sam's fingers, watched him fold it carefully, reverently.
That night, after Sam fell asleep, John took the nightgown from where Sam had left it. Held it to his own face. Inhaled.
The scent was so achingly familiar. Mary’s scent. But it was Sam’s too. They had always carried almost the exact same note.
Every time he was close to his son, it was like holding a ghost and a miracle at once. The comfort and the agony all together.
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So, this is an idea born from a convo that @codependency-is-real and I had, the preamise was "Johnmary having sex but they accidentally call their kids names when they cum" and it kinda snowballed from there.
Pls be kind, I don't write all that much and english is not my first lenguage.
It's 1598 words of pure smut so read at your discreation
you can also read it on AO3
Unwanted Revelations
John couldn't believe what was happening, not even in his wildest dreams he'd find himself in this situation. But some how here he was, in a bunker, with his adult sons and his precious Mary.
His, no, their, boys had left them to catch up and they had immediately started making out like they were teenagers, and like teenagers Mary dragged him to her room with all the excitement of a girl about to lose her virginity.
They locked the door behind them and instantly John pushed Mary against it and took control of her mouth, her taste, God, her taste. He couldn't get enough of her, 20 years without his Mary that he was trying desperately to make up for in a single encounter, he couldn't, but he'd try his damn hardest if it killed him.
Mary was in heaven, she must be, nothing else could ever bring her back her John, but here she is with her husband, her husband, he's back somehow and she couldn't be happier. He kissed just like she remembered, with all the care of someone who couldn't believe his luck and the hunger of a scared young man that knew he would lose all of it if he ever let go.
Not that Mary was any different really, grabbing at his shoulders, his arms, his face and finally letting her hands settle on her John's head. But in the back of her mind she couldn't let go of just how similarly Dean and John kissed, she tried to forget the night of inebriated passion that plagued her with guilt, tried to chalk up the perceived similarities to just how much she missed her husband but she couldn't deny it anymore, no matter how hard she tried. She kissed him harder.
John slowly moved down towards her neck and sucked on that spot behind her ear that used, and still does, make her go insane. one of his hands moved to tangle in her hair while the other undid the button of her jeans.
He unlatched himself from her neck and fell to his knees is one fell swoop, and with all the care of a priest worshipping his Goddess he slowly took her foot in one hand, taking her shoe and sock off and kissing all over her ankle, he moved to the other side with just as much care and repeated his action, drinking in the heat of Mary's gaze he finally let go and took off her jeans.
John rubbed his face on her panties and took in the heady smell of her, and damn him, Mary and Sammy just smelled so similar, he remembered in the motel rooms in the middle of summer would be permeated with the smell of sweaty teens and how different Sammy and Dean smelled, how even then he's catch a whiff and be inexplicably reminded of Mary and how he finally knew why.
Mary was going insane, her John was on his knees between her thighs and she was rubbing her clit all over his nose, she couldn't help herself, he was there and she missed him so much she would die if he didn't move, she could tell, but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to speak and ruin the moment.
John finally, finally moved his mouth and licked over panties before he removed them as well, he attached himself to her clit and relished is the sigh of relief he heard, he moved to put one of her, now no longer lithe but instead well toned, legs on top of his shoulder and moved his other hand to the juncture between her thigh and hip, he sucked and licked, drinking in the soft gasps and half moans she let out and he moved his hand to her soft folds, letting his fingers circle her hole before pushing in that tight, wet heat. He moaned softly at the feeling and Mary let out a low groan in response to his actions.
She let her head thump against the door in pleasure as John pet into her while his tongue worked wonders on her clit, she rested one of her hands on top of his head and let herself moan fully like she wanted to, like she could only really do with him(and Dean, but she wasn't thinking about him. She wasn't).
John was trying, he swears he was, not to think of sweet little Sammy in their motel room, when Dean was out and he thought that his father was passed out drunk in the bed next to his, and how he moaned so sweet, trying so hard to be quiet but still sounding Just like Mary was now above him, and how hard he was even then. John is a sick, sick man, he made his peace with it, but what he wouldn't give to forget just for a second. Just with Mary
"John, fuck. I'm- I'm close- shit" Mary moaned out and John let his fingers out of her and detach from her clit, but before she could express her confusion or displeasure she felt his tongue at her entrance and his fingers caressing her clit and she lost it.
"De- John fuck so good, so good, always know what to do don't you"
John let her catch her breath but wasn't at all surprised when, after getting her leg back to the floor, she dragged him towards her bed and tossed him on it.
She crashed their mouths together, no doubt tasting herself on his tongue, but she didn't care. They spent way too much time apart for her to care about how disgusting she'd probably find this when they stopped, right now she only cared about good it felt to finally kiss her husband again.
All of a sudden John flipped them over so he was the one on top, he started tugging her shirt up and she helped him getting it off of her before they moved to his clothes. She wanted to cherish him like he did to her, but she also wanted him too much for that. when they finally found themselves naked it was like something clicked and amongst heavy breathing they stopped to catalogue the changes they found on each other's bodies. Years apart had changed them more than either wanted to admit but it couldn't have been clearer than now, with all the new scars on display.
John had clearly not wanted to talk, or even acknowledge, that fact, he was more than content to pretend that they were back in the past, the weight of the world not yet on their shoulders and with all of the happiness that being basically newlyweds had brought.
He attached himself to her nipple, remembering now how sensitive her body had really been.
He closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment, biting slightly and toying with the other nipple with his still slick hand, she had always been so wet, it reminded him inexplicably of how Sammy always leaked like a faucet when he fingered himself, the thought caught him by surprise and he accidental bit slightly too hard making Mary let out a pained moan, he licked at it trying to soothe it before detaching himself and drank in just how debouched she looked, how he made her look.
Mary couldn't take it anymore, she was pent up, John might have taken the edge off earlier but he brought her right back to it with all of his teasing, she reached down and grabbed his dick giving it a firm tug and making him trow his head back in pleasure, he looked back down at her and took a deep breath when she nodded, finally deciding to give her what she wanted and sinking down inside of her.
He always filled her up so good, must've been where Dean had gott- no, no, bad Mary, stop thinking of how good your son fucked you, you're with your husband goddammit.
John groaned at the heat that surrounded him and briefly wondered if Sammy would be just as nice around him. He pushed the thought away.
He noticed the slight change in Mary's face and thought about asking her what crossed her mind, said thought was them promptly thrown out when she fucked herself down on him and he got the hint to start fucking moving.
They lost themselves to the hedonism of it all, a mess of wondering hands that groped whatever they could reach and bodies that undulated in a punishing rhythm that brought them closer and closer to the peak, their mouths crashed and separated in random intervals that they couldn't even pretend to be keeping track of.
"Dean shit I'm so close I'm gonna-"
"Fuck Sammy- fuck, I'm-"
They froze when their orgasms washed over them, breathing deeply and quickly in an attempt to catch themselves, not looking each other in the eyes to avoid the inevitable conversation, but when they finally calmed down and gathered enough courage they found mirrored guilt in them.
An understanding came down between them, the knowledge that the lines that got crossed in their brains was present in the other as well calmed them down, it wouldn't absolve them of guilt, but they could relish in the fact that they weren't alone in whatever fucked up thing cursed them to think that way of their sons.
Right now they could forget all about it, maybe they could talk more later, but now they just decided to find comfort in each other and rest.
