May 15, 2024
wooooo lesbian au body headcanons (everyone cheered)
(small warning for non-sexual nudity)
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wooooo lesbian au body headcanons (everyone cheered)
(small warning for non-sexual nudity)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Hornigoldβs Boys:
Everyone please behold this gorgeous and achingly intimate young Jackedhands art I commissioned from adhdedteach on twitter πππ
What your favorite Izzy ship says about you
Blackhands
Your parents were your only model for what a relationship should look like and you never really got over it when they got divorced
Gentlehands
You're capable of basic media literacy and you can pick up on obvious sexual tension
Steddyhands
You're basic (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Cjizzy
You're not gay as in happy, you're Queer as in fuck you (also you're into some really nasty shit)
Jackedhands
You didn't get to attend any frat parties in college and you don't really regret it but you are curious what they would have been like
Stackedhands
You just really hate making choices
Ouizzy
You've seen those posts about introverts being "adopted" by extroverts and you're still waiting for that to happen to you
Rizzy
You're fascinated by the dialectics of violence and tenderness and the homoerotic undertones of both and also you're really into those posts about soup
Sprizzy
You use the word 'twink' as a synonym for 'gay'
Butthands
You're neurodivergent and extremely sexy
Bellhands
You're so picky when it comes to potential partners that you've decided to give up entirely in favor of an idealized fictional boyfriend
Pucker up our passion's spent
//Every Me and Every You//Placebo//
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
modern au where ed + jack have spent the last several decades buying izzy the absolute DUMBEST shirts for every occasion- its a competition between them at this point- whoever gets izzy the shirt that makes him groan louder wins. izzy complains about this ridiculous tradition but he secretly loves it, has kept every single shirt, and often even sleeps in them (he will kill anyone who ever finds out)
pirate polycule, more like mate-to-lots
@batsarebetterthanpeople hello im now obsessed w the blackhands divorce proceedings. no idea what your plan is for ur comic but in my mind stede is ed's lawyer and ed picked him bc he's been staring at stede's billboard ad every day on his way to work for like three years and he has a crush on him. stede is a personal injury lawyer but ed shows up at his firm dressed as slutty as possible and stede is just like "YES i'll be your lawyer!" and then gives all his cases to lucius to focus solely on the blackhands divorce and he doesnt sleep for a month bc he has to learn how divorce law works
and calico jack is ed's old friend and during the blackhands marriage era he'd roll into town every now and then and ed would cheat on izzy. izzy never had proof but like, he knows and jack is knows he knows but he always plays dumb when izzy confronts him. jack is also a lawyer but he's been temporarily suspended from practicing law so many times he's lost count. his most recent suspension JUST ended right when ed hired stede, so jack goes to izzy and offers to be his lawyer and izzy is like "absolutely the fuck not" but then every lawyer izzy goes to drops him after spending like, ten minutes in izzy's presence, and eventually word gets around and nobody will even meet with izzy. and THEN izzy only lets jack be his lawyer because he has literally no other choice
all four of them have toxic cringefail sex with each other at least once. it is the world's messiest divorce and it drags on for at least a full year