#iresine

It is crazy to believe that 2 years ago in October I lost my stepdad. He was living in Guatemala, and I was here in the central coast of California. Last time I saw him was in 2017. He was battling COVID in saturated hospitals for weeks without a way to see us. When he passed, my mind shut down. I buried the news deep inside. I couldn't even cry, I just felt like a mini bomb was ticking...

I thought I got it though! Until, the last days of December or first week of Jan 2021. My dad living in LA went to the hospital with COVID (The mini bomb started ticking faster). He was hospitalized for three fucking weeks, none of us couldn't see him either. The final week was the worse, I could tell deep inside that was it...

I had a lot of regrets, anger and unresolved issues with both of them. The last day of my dad, oh gosh. I call the hospital and they tried setting up a zoom meeting, but their wifi was not working well that day. He offers to call directly from the phone and put it on speaker for me... My last words to my dad, not even knowing if he could hear me, were on speaker phone. I just wanted him to know that I forgave him and that I'm sorry my anger took over me and stop me from being closer.

I didn't have the same luxury with my stepdad unfortunately. I never had a chance to talk to him, and for that I'll cry for the rest of my life.

So yeah, from October to February every year my soul turns like a red blood leaf... Like blood coming from a painful wound. A dramatic, sad but still beautiful soul.

Year 2 - hurts as much as year 1. 🤕 But the pain is now deeper within you, feels almost normal and everyone around you have moved on.

Anybody agrees?

Who’s That Girl? It’s Mary.

Iresine Cerifera 🌱👽 

🔸 floral alien 

🔸 born of iresine (flower) with additional graft 

🔸 high-ranking scientist 

🔸 team leader (Ire, Scilla, Sylvan and Flax) 

🔸 pissed off 24/7 

🔸 will chokehold you