Exercise: Look in the mirror and read yourself the following statement:
“There is a chance that I am transgender or non-binary.”
What are the voices in your head saying?
My own voice: No you’re not, you liar
What will your wife think?
They are the voices of doubters, critics and haters
You would look ridiculous in make-up? Is that what you what?
Feelings that came up and may linger:
Fear. Disgust in myself. A knot in my stomach - it was there when I woke up and now it’s so much worse. This will probably linger for most of the day, and I will feel guilty when I inevitably don’t talk to my wife about it.
I almost felt disembodied, outside myself. It was bizarre, like the face in the mirror and the voice saying the words wasn’t mine.
I usually cope with these feelings by masturbation or sex, which for me numbs the feelings long enough to have a drink or go to sleep. Not that it’s constantly on my mind, but still. I have been withdrawn recently. I was snappy this morning.