#muggle things

“I didn’t know your family had ties to nobility? Why didn’t you mention it?”

“Pardon?”

“You’re familiar with African nobility? Enough that they send you howlers? And you didn’t care to mention that?”

“Oh… oh yeah that’s… my bad?”

Queue every muggle raised child realizing this opportunity and making eyes that scream “do NOT fuck this up for all of us” at each other before the gossip network does its work.

Anyways I just wanna see Goncharov level of unity because they absolutely would stick to the bit if someone fell for it.

11. ❛ if you called just to get off on my voice, i’m hanging up. ❜

With love,

Lily exposed James to the delights of the Muggle Telliephone on Wednesday and by Saturday he had the things mastered.

"Hello. Lily speaking."

His response was gravelly and somewhat hushed: "Oh good, I was worried your sister was going to pick up."

Lily laughed, twisting the cord around her finger and leaning a bony shoulder against the wall. "She's gone out with Vernon. Can I ask who's calling?"

"Voice doesn't give me away? Nor knowing that you have a sister? Goes by the name Petunia? Dating a hideous lump?"

Another laugh. "Afraid not. Pays to be sure you know, any old perv could be calling."

"Are you calling me a perv?"

"Might be."

She heard the brush of clothes as he rearranged his limbs—probably in indignation—then, in a tone that screamed upturned-chin, said: "Fair enough. Go on then, love, tell us what you're wearing."

She snorted at that. "How do you even know how to ask that?"

"Darling, you underestimate me."

A hum. "That much is apparently true."

He was chuckling too but the resonant twang of his voice denoted the underlying motive. "But really, what’re you wearing?"

"James Potter, if you called just to get off on my voice, I’m hanging up." She very nearly did, pulling the handset away from her ear and going to slam it back on the receiver knowing he'd get an earful of plastic and have to pay to call again.

But he cried, voice all crackly through the distance, "Wait, wait!" and her ear was back against the receiver, turning red then white with the pressure as he gravelled: "I can be over in five minutes. Just promise you won't be wearing anything when I get there."

She was quick to warn him off—but her heart wasn't in it—with a lousy, somewhat nasal, "Petunia will be back soon."

She could practically hear his smirk through the phone. "I can be quick."

Please go follow my main blog @beebox-illustrations for more :)

It begins! Thank you for the idea @sans-clone! It will be done and this is not only the beginning of Draco trying to figure out apps but from this moment on it will be the origin of why he tries to figure out muggle stuff at all 😂. This really inspired me