Alfred: Girls are so hot.
Thomas: Guys are hot too, man.
Jimmy: Why is everyone so hot?
Bates: Global warming.

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Alfred: Girls are so hot.
Thomas: Guys are hot too, man.
Jimmy: Why is everyone so hot?
Bates: Global warming.

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Thomas(walks into the servants hall): Pants down Kent.
Alfred: .....
Thomas: Didn't see you there Nugent.
Someone: [insults William] Thomas: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Someone: [insults Jimmy] Thomas: (ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง
Carson: I spy with my little eye someone who needs to shut the hell up. Thomas: Is it me? Carson: It's always you.
Carson: So, basically, we’re completely swamped. All hands on deck. I need anyone with a pulse and a brain to pitch in. Thomas: Do you need help with anything? Carson: No, we’re good, thanks. In fact, you can head home early.

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They don’t know that we know they know we know.
Thomas explaining their tactic on taking down O'Brien to Mr.Bates
Every lonely monster needs a companion.
- Thomas about Andy to Anna and her husband at some point probably.
Thomas: If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and O'Brien, I would shoot O'Brien twice.