Sep 14, 2018
Mr. Carson: You called Mrs. Hughes and not me?
Mr. Bates: Well, when you have a crazy theory, you don't call the voice of reason.
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Mr. Carson: You called Mrs. Hughes and not me?
Mr. Bates: Well, when you have a crazy theory, you don't call the voice of reason.
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Thomas, dramatically sprawled out on the floor: No one loves me...I deserve death.
Thomas, approximately 5 seconds later, on a skateboard with a caprisun and sunglasses: Lmao that was wild, anyway, anyone wanna give me attention?
Thomas: You gave me a plant.
Anna: Yes.
Thomas:
Anna:
Thomas: I can't even take care of myself, how do you expect me to take care of a plant.
Thomas: Bad news - Alfred forgot his keys inside.
Thomas: Good news - we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
Thomas: Bad news - Jimmy finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks and tried to unlock my tragic backstory. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because when I was thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress hot people.
Thomas: Good news - a hot person saw me do it.
Thomas: Bad news - it was Jimmy and since he’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because a fawn was too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, he’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. He knows.
William: Hey, Thomas, can I have your phone number?
Thomas, visibly texting: I don’t have a phone
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Thomas: I don't do relationships
Jimmy: *exists*
Thomas: Shit
Jimmy: do u ever just see something that changed ur life and ur just huh
Thomas: I saw you
Jimmy: honestly thats so gay and sweet and it really makes this awkward because i was gonna show u a photo of a drawing as Ryan Reynolds as a turkey
Someone: [insults William] Thomas: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Someone: [insults Jimmy] Thomas: (ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง