#mr barrow

Like when he insists everyone calls him Mr Barrow, it’s for a reason, he’s had a promotion & it’s a mark of respect that they should adjust as such. Just because someone like Anna doesn’t do it (which is mostly to prevent confusion anyway) doesn’t mean he shouldn’t?

I’m not saying he isn’t rude with it. But if Carson was in the same position - he would blow a gasket & do the exact same.

Does Thomas take this behaviour too far? Yes. He outright bullies William but he also is just doing what he sees Carson doing - William is a little late? Tell him it’s unacceptable. (Yes they are basically in the same position but Thomas is still that little bit senior.)

Like… Carson tears a strip out of William for having a split seam in his livery - I know Carson is in charge but is that behaviour not the same?

I think it’s pretty clear where Thomas learnt it.

THOMAS BARROW vs FIRE 🔥

For what it's worth, I'd have very much liked to have had a friend like you, when I was at my lowest point. And at other times too (even though I probably wouldn't have helped you scheme against Mr Bates)

I'm a good cook, so I might have enjoyed life Downstairs. Being Upstairs is a little too stressful, if you ask me.

dear reader,

If it is worth anything, there are times where I could have done good having friends to support me as well as tell me not to do some things. I have done some questionable things in my time here at Downton.

For what it is worth though, if you still need a friend. I am always here to lend an ear or a shoulder. I'm sure Mrs. Patmore would even let you join her in the kitchen to cook for the family, should you need some time away from your family.

I await to hear from you,

you friend,

-Thomas Barrow x

Been rewatching Thomas and Richard's scenes from DA1, and a bit of dialogue stuck out to me. Then it all clicked.

After the police station rescue, Thomas says, "I'm not sure I've shown enough gratitude for what you did," and it hit me like a bus. He was expecting Richard to now hold this rescue over him as a way to control him or get favors. He was waiting for Richard to claim this "gratitude." Looking back over the show, whenever Thomas was close to someone, it was always because that person was using him in some way: the Duke, especially O'Brian—I'm blanking on the others—But whenever anyone did something nice for him, he always thought that kindness was done for the sole purpose of building his debt to that person.

All through his scenes with O'Brian, it was always a, "do this thing for me, and I'll help you out here, so you can later help me out there." There was always a tally of who's done what for who. They would help each other out but only so they could hold that favor over the other's head. It was a toxic relationship that Thomas always seemed to get the wrong end of. Then into season three with Jimmy, Thomas didn't even dare ask for Jimmy's friendship until he had gotten himself beat up for the kid. He was physically beaten for Jimmy and only then did he feel comfortable reaching out for that friendship.

When Thomas met Andy, he kept trying to do favors for him in hopes that he'd get his friendship too. But it was always because Thomas was doing something for Andy. This is literally the only way the poor man knows how to make friends!!  Later with Baxter, he couldn't understand why she was helping him after he had been so mean to her. It just didn't register in his little traumatized brain. He pushed her away until he finally had to accept that she was genuinely being kind to him, and that was a behavior people could have towards him.

Jumping back to DA1, Thomas meets this really nice fellow who's fun to hang out with then bam! now Thomas is in his debt because of the police station thing. The pattern is already laid out in Thomas's mind: this man only did this so he can get something from Thomas in the future or use him. Thomas is uneasy, knowing Richard is going to hold it over him now, but then he just doesn't. Thomas is waiting for the, "oh yes, actually I'll be expecting favors from you in the future, because you are in my debt. I OWN you because I helped you." But instead, Richard just dismisses the whole thing with his, "we have to stick together, men like us." It's so cute seeing Thomas's mindset go from, "oh no, what do I have to do to be even with him again," to, "oh, oh wait, he doesn't want anything in return??? We're really just two blokes having a conversation??? Have I just made a FRIEND?!" And he needs that. so much.

...

However as a queer person who until recently was in the closed, I understand. Having to hide such a large part of yourself from the people around you is so difficult, and it can make you a really bitter person, and I'm living in a time/place where being me is legal, thomas wasn't.

He had to live with the fear of being discovered while constantly having to hide his true feelings, all whilst being constantly told he's disgusting, wrong and lives in a repulsive world, to quote Carson. So maybe he was cruel to everyone else, especially in the earlier seasons, but really cruelest to himself.