#hiddenself

The slow night

passes by.

Leaves me

guessing

aching.

Time has passed.

I know.

But still

I wish to gently touch

your face

and kiss my ghosts goodbye.

I tried

to give

my best to you

(to) leave you

loved.

But this night

is not

for you.

This night

I feed

the grief.

The most important aspect of Self-Love is the ability to accept your shadow self (also known as ego/inner mean girl/inner beotch/devil on your shoulder, etc).

It is one of the toughest aspects of life, to admit to yourself that there are things you need to forgive yourself for -- and to actually do it!

Self-forgiveness is hard stuff. Especially the longer you’ve been ignoring it and pushing it down as deeply buried as you can.

So, we finally got to talking about everything that has been bothering me. And the funniest thing happened, you touched me and I felt a fire again. It was small but it was there and it made it known to me that right now I’m going through something and it’s not you. It was literally the best realization ever. To know that even though I felt as if maybe our love was no longer there , it was there all a long and I just need a moment to myself to put manage my personal situation. December has been hard for me the last 8 years going on 9 and this is the first time I have someone who is in love with me and understands that it’s ok for me to step away for a moment to just breathe and take it all in. I will never forget this moment and I will cherish no matter what happens between us.

I don't know what happened. I don't know where it started or better put, how it ended. All I know is that one day I was madly in love and the next I wasn't. I used to look at you with so much love and fire inside me. I used to look at you with dreamy eyes of our future together. I used to love the way your embrace felt. But "used" is past tense and today I'm still with you. I have no reason to leave. I have no reason to not love you. I do not know if it is me. I just feel numb inside. My heart feels hardened and locked. I can see a door in front of me, but I cannot find the key. Is it you that has built this door or is it my past coming back to haunt me? I don't know what happened. I don't know where it started or better put, how it ended. All I know is that one day I was madly in love and the next I wasn't.

-by: the-hiddenself @the-hiddenself (12/12/17 5:16PM)