“If I tell you to leave you would gladly stay away, no questions ask. And in a week or two, you can move on easily.” She continues and picks up some pebbles and throws one at the lake.
“I envy you for that. You can leave any time. You can forget everything. You can forward without looking back. And I wish I could do the same, throw everything we had like these pebbles in my hand. How it’s so damn easy to throw these pebbles because it has no use. Because it meant to throw away.” She trembles with too much emotion but controls it.
And she adds, “I would do anything just to be you when it comes to our relationship; cold-hearted, uncaring, and most of all detached. So I wouldn’t be the one who will cry in the end, who will be the wrecked one, who will be the one who doesn’t know what to do just to move forward, and who will be left behind with nothing but pain in her heart. I don’t want to be the weak one, but truth be told, I am the weak one. I hold on to us, or should I say the idea of us. I am still holding our rope for the both of us since you stop holding it a long time ago, it’s as if I was the one who tied you with that rope when in the first place both of us weaved it around us, but what had happened when suddenly it was kind of tied at your neck and I was pulling it? I don’t know what happened to us, the more I hold on to the rope the more chance of you getting suffocated, but when I let the rope go I will probably descend into oblivion. But you know what, whatever wish I would do, I will never be you. I am not cold-hearted nor uncaring nor a detached person. And I will not be. I will not hold and pull the rope anymore. I will set you free from our rope. And I would rather choose to fall behind than to see you suffering. That’s the difference between us, I will choose you over me. I will always choose your sake over me, but you cannot do the same. You will never do the same.”
