#heartbeak

Genre: angst Warnings: heartbreak,cheating masterlist

“Jeonghan?”

“Hm?”

“Will you always love me?”

Jeonghan’s hand stilled in your hair, fingers tangled from gliding them through the strands. He shifted slightly to look at you, but you did not meet his gaze. He was quiet for a moment, probably pondering over his thoughts, then spoke.

“What makes you ask that?” he asked softly.

You just shrugged, not knowing yourself why you blurred out that question.

“I don’t know- I just- just forget I said anything.” you mumbled, drooping your head so your hair could cover your embarrassment.

The silence that followed the was so incredibly awkward, you squinted your eyes and shut the tight, hoping to melt into the darkness. The hand from your hair moved away and you felt your boyfriend’s whole body shift in your direction.

If possible, you held your eyes shut tighter.

Jumping from feeling two warm hands cup your cheeks, your eyes unintentionally flew open.

You had expected Jeonghan to be angry with you, to be offended that you would even ask him that question when he had told you everyday for the past 4 years how much he loved you. However, all you could see in his brown eyes was adoration, with a tint of amusement.

“I will forever love you up until the day I leave this world, and nothing will ever change that.”

That was a lie. Something did change.

For the past few months Jeonghan became cold and distant. At first you thought it was stress from work, but after all the times he came home hours after he was supposed to finish, all the mornings you would wake up only to find the sheets next to you cold, as though he never slept there. No more kisses, hugs, conversations that lasted more than a few words.

Nothing.

Even though you felt the cracks in your heart start to shatter bit by bit, you couldn’t accept the fact you and Jeonghan were falling apart. You had a sliver of hope things would return back to how they should be, but that hope quickly deflated.

He came home one night, the scent of lavender following him like a shadow. You didn’t own any sort of lavender anything and you know for a fact that Jeonghan didn’t either. He had told you a while back he wasn’t the biggest fan of lavender, preferring to use the soft scent of vanilla.

You had waited up hoping to be able to see you boyfriend for at least a little while that night and maybe ask him why he had been so distant and why he’s never home anymore.

The sound of the door opening and closing made you look up from looking at your phone, Jeonghan entering. He looked quite tired, his normally smoothed blond hair ruffled, his shirt not tucked in and a few buttons undone.

You watched silently as he took his shoes up, before he looked up and jumped at the sight of you sat on the couch, but he quickly regained his posture and checked his watch.

“What are you doing up?” he asked.

You fiddled with the hem of your pyjama shirt.

“Waiting for you…”

He hummed and nodded before walking past you to the direction of your shared bedroom.

“Um, how was work?” you weakly asked.

“Fine, but I’m tired so I’m going to bed. Night.” he replied, closing the door without even a glance back at you.

You weren’t focused on that though as you gazed at the opposite side of the living room. All you could focus on was the strong waft of lavender when he walked past you.

That night you laid awake staring at the ceiling, your mind not being able to sleep. You tired so hard to convince yourself that someone might have just sprayed lavender on him as a joke, but the more you went over it the more the pieces of the puzzle were being put together.

That explain why he always came home late, and why he never kissed you or hugged you like he used to.

Was he really cheating on you?

No he couldn’t be…

Slowly, you turned your head to look at the sleeping male beside you. No way would he cheat, this angel of a man who you had been with for so many years, the man who knew all your deepest darkest secrets and you his. He couldn’t have…

You let your eyes wander over his face…and that’s when you saw it, reddish bruises in a line going down his neck to his chest.

That’s when you made your decision…

-One year later-

It had been a long emotional year since you had left quickly in the middle of the night, taking your things and leaving a small note.

Deciding to leaving him after seeing those yuckiest was the best thing for you to do. Even if he wasn’t cheating on you, you were certainly not going to be waiting for him for the rest of your life. You needed to find yourself again, and with the help of your family and friends that’s what you did. It was probably one of the most hardest things you’ve had ever done, but you were proud of yourself.

When you left, you did get quite a few calls and messages from Jeonghan but you ignored them all, and after a while, he eventually stopped.

Now, as you were walking down the street, coffee and food in hand for your lunch, you couldn’t help but see a familiar face walking up the other way. It was Jeonghan, a girl on his arm.

He still looked the same, but he had cut his long blond hair short and had dyed in black. You had to admit, it did suit him, but when you looked at him you felt no love for him anymore.

Your eyes met and his lit up in recognition. Both your eyes stayed locked for a second, then you looked away. You walked past each other going opposite ways without saying a word, and you didn’t even have the urge to look back, not knowing he did.

You weren’t all that bothered if he had looked back or not because you did feel anything for him anymore.

My heart is not so broken that it can obscure its own truth.

If I had any love left I would have offered it up to you.

Do you see me offering? It’s no longer yours for the taking, not like it was before.

I do not miss you anymore.”

until the day you decided

that you wanted me again.

But, now I’m scared 

that you never will.