#functional freeze

I should be doing schoolwork, cleaning, writing, exercising, and many more things. And I bet your to-do list is rather long as well.

Instead of being burderned by the should, I an internet stranger, am giving you permission to do something you enjoy, something you want to do.

Feeling guilty about what you should be doing, but still unable to get up and actually do it, is draining. It's draining and exhausting and you feel so guilty.

Instead, try to let that go. You can do that thing in a little bit. Right now give yourself a timer of 30 minutes and do something you like and then try to tackle the tasks you need to do.

*guides will include also how to maintain the burst of momentum after getting out of freeze (like: supporting yourself when you have no support system, modelling compassion for yourself, moving away from self-sabotage, how to wade through the lows of recovery period)

A cleaner left a sink running in the unit above me. Woke up to bubbled plaster and a flooded kitchen. Maintenance took their sweet ass time to get here as water continued to leak through the light fixtures. I got teary eyed in front of the maintenance man and he was like, “😳…are you ok?” And I told him I was just frustrated because this is the second time my unit has flooded in the last four years. And I’m kind of stuck here because I can only comfortably afford this little unit. Not easy to support yourself, work full time, and deal with a chronic illness. My resources feel like they are always ebbing away and every day I grind my teeth a little harder. Like, I’m ok- I’ve gotten to the point in healing where I’m pretty much always “okay.” But if anyone tells me this is “just life,” I WILL flip a table.