Dec 7, 2024
first signs the Ts working is hella acne and RAGE. was kinda hoping for a dick or leg hair, but alright.
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first signs the Ts working is hella acne and RAGE. was kinda hoping for a dick or leg hair, but alright.
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07.05.2020 - 10:00, Do
Today i had my appointment with a Surgeon because of my Hysterectomy, Kolpectomy & Clitpen OP. She said i will have two catheters and one of them for 3 Weeks, and the other one for 9 days. I will stay about 10 Days in Hospital, Essen. I spoke to my Therapyst and he said he will write me something to submit the application for my health insurance company, so that i can apply in September then.
“Brovaries”
***Trigger Warning: Menstrual Cycle***
So up until Sunday I was two weeks late for my "monthly visitor" or "that time of the month". My period... My period was late... Now, for some stuuupid reason I assumed my body had finally caught up with my brain and thought oh yeah I'm supposed to be male so I shouldn't bleed every god damn month! if only it were that simple. So when "shark week" did inevitably arrive it hit me like a tone of bricks, like, it normally does but this time someone threw in an extra ten or so bricks. I'm not saying periods are all happy and rosey for women but I'm male... My body shouldn't be bleeding every month like not only am I sat here in my bed at exactly *looks at time* 2:21am(!) with unbearable lower back pain and stomach cramps I also want to rip out/off any "female" part of my body. It makes being transgender 10 times more mentally draining than it already is like HELLO I don't have any use for this body part so if my “brovaries” could stop reminding me they're there and please leave this instant I would highly appreciate it!
p.s. I’ve added the word brovaries to my dictionary and you should too... (:
almost 6 months on T now: I forgot to update because nothing really changed in the last few weeks. I still got the problem with my itchy skin and I am still taking meds because of it. My Doc who gives me the T wanted me to stop taking it for 3 Months but I didn't wanted to. He didn't even listen to my problem and just said that it's from the T and that i could die if i continue taking it and that i just should go home, just to make me stop wasting his time (This guy is from f*cking hell and doesn't like/understand trans people at all.. for all german trans-people out there who happen to live in cologne: Do not ever go to Dr.Kaulen). Also: not T related but I finally officially changed my Name and Gender on my documents and ID and stuff like that. Another thing that other people noticed is that i am way more agressive than i was in the last few months.. i myself didn't notice that at all, so i'm not sure if i'm able to change this and i'm scared to ruin my friendships.
Does anyone elses dysphoria get so bad that you feel like vomiting? Today is one of those days for me
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I deadass desrcibed my dysphoria to my therapist as "mild" once. I was sitting there with three binders on, like "eh it doesn't bother me THAT much..."
well it sure is bothering ur mf ribs dipshit! take that shit off and BREAVE.
about 3,5 months on T now: my voice keeps dropping and people notice. I have to shave my face once or twice a week now. The problem with my itchy skin got worse.. I've got "hives/urticaria"-like symptoms, jet this is not the case because given medication isn't effective- so my doc is sure that this is somehow the cause of T. I also got more hair on my legs and my skin got worse again, especially on my back and my shoulders. Apart from this i don't really notice anything new.
Trans realisations #1
A few years ago i would call myself a gay girl instead of a lesbian and i had no idea why the term made me so uncomfortable. Now i get it