I have a lot on my mind today but one thing that greatly greatly irks me is the simplicity in which people tend to approach names. Names, for many, fall into the category of given name(s), nicknames, and pseudo-names (such as what one may take up online). Some people change their names, but this isn't a common practice.
Which means that for a lot of people their name is just... their name? There isn't thought or intentionality behind their name, it isn't an active choice but a passive side effect of being born. Which is fine. Because there's a standard expectation of having a personal name or two and a familial name, and those are pieces of identity people use to find belonging.
But! Holy fuck how much I despise the simplicity of that because it lacks any understanding of nuance or seeing how else names are used. In my fostercare experience not only was it common practice for foster kids to change their names (while not treated as such, I always viewed it as a "evolving into yourself" sort of event. Somewhat like persona 5 persona's evolving?). But! That does not mean it is inherently good, nor the message of "your name belongs to you" is present whatsoever.
Because for whatever goddamned reason my full birth name was hidden from me for majority of my life, the only reason I knew my birth last name at a young age was because I accidentally was handed a paper with it on there, and I ran away to try memorizing it as quickly as I could. Why should anyone's name be treated as such a vile secret? Technically, although I'd barely call it such, I was ""adopted"" (officially my social worker just wanted me gone, though I had pseudo-placements after being ""adopted"". They fucking suck) and guess what! Not only did every foster home just ""give"" me their last name, but my ""adoptive parents"" stripped me of all my names. My only records of my life that I have have the names fully blacked out and redacted, because somehow, that's a """parent's""" right!
Names for many people are just a given but they absolutely can be used as a sign of ownership, and it deeply deeply unfair that so many people are completely unaware of this. I hold no claim over my birth names and I reject my adoptive ones, and I have been given several names in my life. I was able to officially change mine again, but last names? Last names are absolutely a sign of ownership, not belonging. There is no community or care in being owned. It only continues to enforce the fact that, fundamentally, you are not a person.
Last names, when given by people who don't veiw you as a full person but as a tool or symbol, are a way to declare dominion over someone. "You have the name, we own you, your actions are now reflected of us so you must obey us". If you cannot reach those stupidly high expectations, ones that inherently deny individuality and frankly quite normal behaviours, you no longer are worthy of being owned, you lose the name, and you're given a new one as you're thrown somewhere else.
It is despicable and cruel to continuously and repetitively remove one's name and forcefully strip them of such. I belong to no one and I refuse to ever be owned in any capacity. I at least was able to change my first name to my own name, but someday I will be changing it all to be reflective of me. I am myself, I have and will fight for that. I will never be controlled by anyone, I have fought my entire life and will continue doing so because there's no worthy alternative
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Flashes of dull colored images flash across Laurens' mind. Men and women surrounded her over the course of days. Over the course of years. Reminders of scars and cries rang through her mind. One specific distant voice shot through her brain and fired through all of her senses. A scream suddenly rang through the apartment as Lauren tossed and turned in her bed. Spencer sprang out of bed and rushed to her bedroom. He flung open the door, his breathing heavy. He flicked on the ceiling light in her bedroom. The warm light illuminated Lauren, thrashing and crying in her sleep. The made bed she was lying on was now a mess. Spencer moved quickly to her side, a hesitant hand landing on her shoulder.
âLuaren, luaren- itâs Spencer. You're dreaming, wake up, y-youâre ok.â his voice was worried and getting higher in pitch as he spoke. He watched as Lauren shot up, gasping for air, her hands flailing to push his hand off of her.
âDon't touch me!â she yelled in the loudest and clearest voice he had heard from her so far. Quickly, he backed away, his hands shooting up in the air to show that he meant no harm toward her. One of her hands shot up to grab the collar of her shirt like it was choking her. Her forehead was shiny with sweat, and her tears combined with the run from her nose at the bottom of her chin. She was still fighting for breath. Spencer moved closer to the side of the bed and knelt by the side of the bedframe.
âI-im not going to touch you, but you need to breatheâŚI promise, I just want to help you,â she said, side-eyed him through gasping breath, she nodded, realizing she had no choice, she was getting lightheaded. Spencer moved his hands to make the motion of air going in and out of his lungs.
âJust try and breathe for me. In for three out for threeâŚgood good.â She did as she was told, tears still streaming down her face. Spencer nodded at her; his eyes were wide, even though he was trying to keep his gaze gentle. He watched as she lowered her hand from her collar and subconsciously reached for the stuffed rabbit that she had set on her bed. Her fingers were slowly rubbing the fabric of one of its ears. The color of that one ear had been worn from repeated touching. His eyes focus back on her.
âAlright, can you tell me one thing you can see?â She furrowed her brows at him. She complied after a few more deep breaths.Â
âT-the dresser,â she swallowed hard after getting her words out; her mouth was violently dry from screaming out. Spencer nodded.Â
âGood! That's good. Now what's one thing you can hear?â he moved slightly closer to the bedframe and rested one of his hands on top of the sheets. She continued breathing and listened for a moment.
âT-the ceiling fanâŚâ she spoke quietly, her voice a little scratchy. Spencer smiled slightly, the concern behind his eyes lessening slightly.
âYeah, yeah, one last thing, ok? W-whatâs one thing you can feel?â She looked down at her rabbit; her face indicated traces of embarrassment, but she answered anyway.
âM-myâŚmy rabbit.â Spencer smiled at her. He analyzed her breathing, which had slowed to a near-normal pace. Her eyes had stopped darting around the room. She looked almost calm, but it was clear to him that whatever she was dreaming about was still at the forefront of her mind. He furrowed his brows together, and a sympathetic frown crossed his lips.
âAre you feeling any better?â he waited silently for her to answer or ignore him. She nodded slowly as she looked to him directly for the first time since she arrived earlier that day. His hair was a tangled mess on his head, his eyes were red from abruptly waking up, and his t-shirt was on backwards and inside out from throwing it on in the dark. His rush to get to her was evident in his appearance. Her lip started to quiver as she swallowed thickly. Spencer grew concerned again as she began to cry, even though she was trying her hardest not to.Â
âI-im sorry. I wasnât trying to wake you up, y-you can go- I-im ok.â She tried to get him to leave, but he sat on the edge of her bed instead.Â
âHey, hey⌠don't do that. You donât need to apologize for having a bad dream; I get them, too. And I knew what to expect. Statistically speaking, about 51% of foster parents report the children in their care having persistent nightmares. So if you think about it, you're not the only one. I-i get them too. Different circumstances, but my point still standsâŚâ he provides a gentle smile. Spencer checks the small alarm clock he put on her nightstand. The clock read 5:30.Â
âIf you want, we can get an early start to the day. Studies show that people tend to exhibit more positive emotions when they start their day earlier. N-no pressure, but it might helpâŚâ he offered as he stood up once again. Lauren was clearly considering it. Given that she had woken herself all the way, she figured she should give his advice a chance. She nodded at him and stood up on the opposite side of the bed, keeping her distance from the tall man beside her. She had gotten up and instinctively held onto her rabbit until she noticed and quickly set him down as if she were embarrassed. Spencer chose not to mention it, but felt saddened by her shame surrounding the item that clearly comforted her.Â
âI can make us some tea if youâd like. You could get ready and meet me in the kitchen,â she clenched her jaw slightly and looked at her feet.
âCould I get a shower?â he was surprised that she felt the need to ask, but simply nodded and gave a tight-lipped smile.
âOf course! Yeah, go for it. You dont need to ask. Do-do you have all of the toiletries you need?â She nodded and grabbed a mall bag off her dresser. She had not stocked the bathroom with her things yet. She preferred to keep them together in case she moved again. Spencer walked out of the room before her, allowing her some short privacy. Once she left the room, Reid moved toward her bed to fix the sheets the way she had them when she initially made her bed. He paused when he went to move the top blanket. It was wet. Lauren had had a nightmare so bad that she presumably wet herself. This itself didn't worry him because he understood that foster children had a higher risk of nightmares, bedwetting, mood changes, etc. What worried him was that more times than not, they were symptoms of PTSD. He frowned and quickly stripped the bed, setting her rabbit back on the bed up against the wooden headboard. Before Lauren could get out of the shower and catch him stripping her bed, he quickly crumpled them into a ball and carried them out to the room and to the washer. He tossed them in without a second thought and washed his hands. He made his way to the kitchen, where he started the kettle on the stove. Lauren made it back to her room, her face dropping when she saw her barren bed. His face grew warm with embarrassment. She was afraid to leave her bedroom, but was worried it would look strange if she just disappeared after her shower. By the time Lauren came out to the kitchen, she was dressed in the same jean shorts and an old men's flash t-shirt with a black long-sleeve t-shirt beneath it. Her long, wet hair was thrown over one of her shoulders. She was tense when she saw Spencer standing at the kitchen counter with a mug in his hands.
âTea?â Spencer asked her casually. Her shoulders dropped in confused relief at his nonchalant composure. She shifted her weight from one foot to another.
âS-sureâŚthankyou,â he poured her a mug of tea and set it on the kitchen island he was standing in front of. He didnât look at her as if he had any idea of what had happened; he simply moved on and slid her mug toward her and set a container of sugar beside it.
âSo where are you thinking we should go?â he asked her kindly, taking a sip out of his mug. She looked at him, confused, she then looked at the clock on the microwave. It read 6:30.Â
âF-for what?â she asked him, hesitantly taking a sip of her very hot tea. He shrugged calmly.
âFor your bedsheets. I was even thinking you might want to grab some breakfast? That diner I told you about is still open. It's 24 hours. My treat,â he smiled once more and stepped away from the counter.
âWell, you think about it. Iâm going to go get ready for whatever plans we may or may not make. There's more water in the kettle if you want more tea,â and with that, he simply walked off into his room to grab clothes and head into the bathroom for a shower. Lauren could feel the tension leave her entire bodyâŚbreakfast sounded nice.
Haven't posted in quite some time and need to catch up on "Foster Sims" updates. It's been a whirlwind over here!!
We're taking in the last two of a sibling group of six (yes, six) within the next week, ages 1 to 12. We bought another vehicle to make this happen. (And because we needed it.) I'm a minivan driver now.
The kids had been in separate foster homes for the last year, and the most recent four were moved to us from a home that is being shut down. Almost everything they brought with them had to be trashed.
If you are able and would like to send items for them, we have a registry we keep open, linked below. Otherwise, thoughts and prayers always appreciated â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
This was written for the wonderful @imagining-in-the-margins family challenge for the months of April and May. I know I'm a little late but I only recently read this prompt that's also the summary and it really spoke to me! While writing I got really invested in the characters so I might write a couple more parts in the future!
Summary: Spencer and his wife have decided to foster a teenager.
Content Warning: foster care, neglect, foster sibling separation, minor mention of drugs, food & food insecurities. Please let me know if I missed something and I will add what's missing!
Word Count : 5.8k
_____
âSpencer, have you checked if the heater is on in their room, itâs freezing outside!â âY/N, I have already told you, itâs warm in the guest bedroom, the thermostat is on too!â âItâs THEIR room, Spence, you need to check what youâre saying, if we want them to feel at home, we need to adjust our language too!â, Y/N chastised while she was running around their house trying to make everything look perfect, although there was nothing left to do.Â
âY/N, can you come here for a second?â, Spencer called out for his wife, softly catching her hand and tugging her closer to him, finally stopping her pacing. He took her other hand into his own and gently squeezed her hands. She looked up at him in confusion. âWhat is it? Did I forget something?â Spencer just smiled down at his beautiful wife. He knew she just wanted to be prepared for this new person who would join their little family any minute, but he also knew sheâd run herself crazy trying to make everything right.Â
âY/N, everything is perfectly prepared for whoever will step through that door in the next hour. We are ready for them, weâve got their room ready, your chilli is on the stove, weâve put toiletries, extra clothes and towels out and got them more snacks than even I could devour in a weekâ, he listed and Y/N slowly but surely relaxed a little. âAnd most importantly my love, we are ready to support whoever will be joining us. You have so much love to give, anyone would be lucky to be on the receiving end of it. Whoever this kid is that will join us, they will feel that love and comfort just like I do whenever youâre with me.âÂ
Y/N had tears in her eyes now. âI just want them to feel welcome, who knows what they have been throughâ, she got out and Spencer pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back. âI know my love. But all we can do now is take it one step at a time, okay? Weâre prepared and it will be fine.â Y/N nodded into his embrace.Â
She knew he was right, they were prepared. After having a lengthy talk, the two of them had decided that fostering was the right decision for them to expand their family. They both felt deeply that bringing a new life into this world when there were so many kids without homes, seemed like the wrong way to go for them. They both felt that family was so much more than genetics and biological relations, they knew that love made family and that they had so much love to give.Â
The decision to welcome older kids into their home wasnât as easy to make. Spencer had some apprehensions, finally telling Y/N that he felt like older kids and teens might not respond well to him and his quirks. It took him a while to see that his own experiences with teenagers from when he was a kid were entirely different from how they would respond to him now. Y/N had acknowledged and listened to his fears and after seeing the statistics on how many older kids never found a safe home and tended to age out of the system, Spencer felt entirely wrong for not giving these kids a chance of a safe haven with them. Given their work schedule, they even decided that they wouldnât be able to take smaller kids and so now they were awaiting their first placement. The social worker had called half an hour ago and only told them that they had a 14-year-old in need of a new placement and that they were going to be there within the next two hours. They didnât even know their pronouns nor their background but they already felt for the teen.Â
The two of them only parted from their embrace when there was a knock on the door. Y/Nâs eyes went wide as she stared up at Spencer. âOh my god, they are here! Spencer, they are here!!!â âLetâs go meet themâ, he smiled calmly although inside he was anything but calm.Â
They opened the door together to find a middle-aged woman and, standing next to her, clutching a plastic bag, a girl with deep-green eyes, long unruly brown curls and a scared look on her face. Y/N quickly caught herself and stopped what she was sure was staring, at the girl.Â
âHi! Come in, come in, itâs so cold outside!â, she ushered the two to step into their home. âThank you Mr and Mrs Reid for taking such a last-minute placement! Maggie is really happy to be here, arenât you Maggie?â, the social worker gushed and Spencer could see the girl anxiously tightening her grip on her bag before she nodded. âWell why donât we go to the kitchen and weâll talk a little more!â, Y/N tried to ease the tension, but the social worker had other plans.Â
âIâm really sorry, but I actually have to go run by another case of mine. Maggie should be fine with you for now, I will check back in tomorrow or one of these days if there are any more questions and send you an E-Mail with any information you might need, itâs the weekend so the school wonât be an issue until Monday!â, she rattled off leaving Spencer and Y/N to stare at her for a second before Spencer was the one to find his voice first.Â
âLet me walk you to the door, I do have a couple of questionsâ, he said, stunned and led the woman to the door, leaving Y/N with the teenage girl in their kitchen. She watched her husband leave the room, stunned as well, before snapping out of it and taking a good look at the girl that was just dropped off at their house like it was nothing.Â
âIâm sorry Maggie, let me do this again: Iâm Y/N and that dorky guy with me is my husband Spencer. Weâre really happy to have you here with us. Do you want something to drink? Iâve also got chilli on the stove if youâre hungryâ, the woman explained but the girl just stared at her for a second before looking back at where Spencer and the case worker had disappeared to. âI know this is all but ideal right now, you deserve a better start than this, Iâm sorry honeyâ, Y/N said softly and before the girl could react to her words they could hear the door shut and Spencer stepping back into the kitchen.Â
âSooo, why donât we show Maggie her room, hm?â, he said encouragingly but Y/N could tell that he was angry. Clearly, the caseworker had not made the best impression on him. âCome on, Maggie, weâll give you a house tourâ, Y/N agreed and smiled at the girl encouragingly. The girl had yet to say a word but followed the couple up the set of stairs to the first story of their townhome. Spencer and Y/N let her look into each room up there, their bedroom, the bathroom in the hall which would be the teenâs and finally, they opened a door and let her step in first.Â
Maggie found herself in a beautiful and warmly lit bedroom with a queen bed, a desk, a sideboard with a TV and a big basket filled with all sorts of stuff. The teenâs eyes grew wide as she took it all in while still clutching onto the trash bag in her hands. âThis.. this is where I get to stay?â, she asked carefully with a slight stutter, looking back at the couple that was now standing in the doorway together watching her taking it all in. âYes, of course! Help yourself to anything you want, thereâs a couple of snacks and drinks and I have some stationery on the desk if youâd like to draw or write, oh and I have a couple of clothes in the closet too, I didnât know what you liked of course so itâs just basicsâ, Y/N rambled along while Spencer watched the teen, clearly a little overwhelmed with it all.Â
âI also got you this blanketâ, Y/N ended her monologue, holding out a soft yellow blanket, still in its bow from buying it. She had heard that it meant a lot for foster kids to have new things that they could keep and Y/N thought there was nothing more comforting than a fuzzy blanket. Maggie just stared at the blanket for a second, still holding her bag with two hands, before she carefully let the bag down beside her and took the blanket that Y/N was holding out for her. âThank youâ, she breathed out quietly, feeling the soft fabric against her palm as she held the gift. A silence settled in between the three and it was Spencer who decided to give the teen a little room to process all of her emotions. He knew what it felt like to be overwhelmed like that and had also learned the circumstances of the girlâs emergency placement tonight.Â
âI think weâll leave you to settle in now. We will be right downstairs in the kitchen and youâre welcome to join us and have a bite to eat any time. You can go take a shower if you want to, there are towels in the bathroom, or you can just stay in here if you want to be alone, whatever you decide is fine, okay Maggie?â, he spoke softly and watched the girl pressing her lips together and nodding. âYes sirâ, she uttered and Y/Nâs brows furrowed in worry at that. âOh no need for the formalities, Iâm just Spencer and this is just Y/Nâ, he continued with his soft voice and the girl nodded again. âOkay, Spencer. Thank you.â
â--
Downstairs Y/N immediately turned around to Spencer and rushed him to tell her what the social worker had said. âYou seemed mad, what did she say? How is she just going to drop a kid off at night and just leave like that? We donât even know what the circumstances are! And all her belongings are in a plastic bag, what the fuck Spencer!â, Y/N burst out and whisper shouted at her husband. Spencer eyed the stairs nervous that the girl could hear them. âI know, I told the social worker the same thing but it seemed like she was overworked too and had a call for another kid that was in trouble, itâs bad, I know, but at least now sheâs safe with us.â âDid she tell you if the placement would be for longer? Where did Maggie even come from?â Spencer nodded carefully.Â
âPolice busted her prior foster familyâs home for drug manufacturing just a couple of hours ago. They found her and another kid in one of the rooms while they had a makeshift drug lab in the basement.â Y/Nâs jaw dropped. âWHAT?â, she whisper shouted once again not believing a word she was hearing. âHow did those people get a foster licence to begin with? Was she exposed to these drugs?â Then another thought hit her. âAre you okay?â, she asked softly and Spencer nodded quickly.Â
âI am, truly Iâm just as shocked as you are. Apparently, they had the drugs and equipment in the basement while the upstairs was relatively clear of any signs of drugs and stuff, still a messed up home though. She needs a permanent place to stay, the case worker didnât say much but her biological family seems to be out of the picture.â âGod I feel so bad for her, the way she called you Sir? I hope sheâll come down to eat something later.â Spencer nodded and pulled his wife into his arms, pressing a kiss on top of her head and rocking them both back and forth for a minute. âWeâll help her through thisâ, he assured.
____
Upstairs, Maggie finally got a moment to sit down and process what the last couple of hours had looked like. She had gotten the fright of a lifetime when suddenly there were people shouting everywhere and her and Lilaâs door was kicked in, revealing two policemen with their guns drawn at the two of them. Maggie had pulled Lila into her bed, pushing themselves into the corner and holding the younger child safely, whispering affirmations into her ears. After the policemen had lowered their guns they escorted them out of the house, putting them in a car and asking loads of questions while Maggie watched the house being torn apart and their foster parents being detained.Â
It wasnât like Maggie liked them or living there but at least they didnât hit them, at least they had a bed to sleep there. Now where would they go? She had been worrying about what they were doing in the basement for ages, watching the sketchy people turn up all the time, really deep down she knew that one of these days it would have to turn bad. After it all calmed down a little they were given trash bags and asked to collect their belongings.Â
Maggie helped Lila in packing everything that might be helpful and grabbed the few things she had that belonged to her in a way. Lilaâs grip on her hand was tight and it only reminded Maggie that they were incredibly likely to be split up. They werenât bio siblings, just both ended up at the same home. Lila was only 9, Maggie honestly didnât know how she hadnât gotten a better family than that so she had tried to make it a home for Lila for the past year and a half. There was no way that a family that would be interested in taking Lila would also want a teenager, she knew that. She was all too familiar with the system, the older she got the slimmer the chances for a safe, comfortable home.Â
Maggie had given up all hope for adoption a long time ago, but for Lila, there was still a chance. So when Nadine came to take Lila, telling her she had found a nice family, Maggie had encouraged the crying child that refused to let go of her.Â
âLila, baby Iâll always always always be here for you okay? You have to be strong now okay? Nadine found really nice people, it wonât be like it was here, okay? You will have a really good time, Li, I promise I will try and visit okay?â, she had tried to make her voice sound steady but couldnât stop the tears from rolling down her own cheeks. âWhat about you?â, Lila asked desperately. âI will be fine, I can look out for myself and Iâll get a safe place to stay tooâ, the teen encouraged but didnât believe a word she was saying. Lila did though and that was most important. Before Nadine could take the girl away she hugged her tight again and then kissed the girlâs forehead. âI love you Lila, you remember my phone number right? I made you memorise itâ, she said and the kid nodded vehemently. âI remember Mags, I can call you?â, she asked and Maggie nodded trying to hold back the tears. âPlease call me when you need me, I will always answer, I promise Li. Love you.â, she said again before the girl was led away, turning around once more and calling back: âLove you too Mags!â
And here Maggie was, alone again. Something she was very used to, so she pulled herself together, wiped away the tears and put up her guard again. Whatever was going to happen in the next couple of hours would decide where her life was going or what it would look like. She was at an age now where a group home was honestly the most likely option and it scared the living crap out of her to be in a home with older teenagers. Maggie could fend for herself but she wasnât as tough as others in the system. She was an easy target, she knew that and she had to prepare herself for that. She was taken back to the police station where she stayed for another hour before a middle-aged woman introduced herself to her as Tanya. Nadine was still busy so she was handed over Maggieâs case for now. Great, now she didnât even know her case worker anymore.Â
âI made a few calls and found a place for you to stay, come on weâre going there nowâ, Tanya had said and Maggie just followed her along. âIs it a group home?â, she finally asked after they had been in the car for a couple minutes without the woman saying more. Maggie missed Nadine, at least she had attempted to make her feel better. âNo, itâs not, youâre lucky, thereâs been a new couple in the area opening up for older kids like you. Mr and Mrs Reid are expecting us any minute now.âÂ
____
And that had been all the girl knew before these two strangers opened up their home to her. Here she was now sitting in a perfect room in a perfect townhouse. She looked down at the blanket in her lap. It felt soft against her palm and the softness in addition to the softness of the bed beneath her made her feel weird. Like it was all fake, it wasnât supposed to be like this. This was all too soft. The blanket, the bed, the light, the warmth, their voices. It was all too soft. This wasnât real. This wasnât how life went for her. She didnât trust the peace.Â
Before she knew what she was doing, she was pacing. Trying to make sense of what it was that was happening here. She didnât want to cry, not again, it would only make it worse, she would only miss Lila worse and the people downstairs could hear her. There wasnât even anything to cry over. This placement was the best place she had probably ever been put in, but that made it feel so wrong, like there was a bomb waiting to go off any minute. That bomb seemed to be her though, she felt like she was going to combust from the pressure that was building up inside of her, threatening to spill over. She had to let it all out somehow.Â
Her eyes fell on the blanket and before she knew what she was doing she grabbed the soft piece of fabric that was supposed to bring her comfort and threw it across the room. It landed against the closet door with a small *thump* sound and then just plummeted to the ground. Maggieâs teeth were clenched together as she watched it do nothing with how she was feeling and quickly she grabbed another pillow off the bed, launching it through the room similarly. Others followed until finally one of the pillows landed against a framed picture on the wall, causing it to come off the hook and fall to the ground with a loud clatter. It was only then that the girl seemed to come to her senses.Â
Wide-eyed she looked around herself, seeing the damage she had done, pillows and blankets were scattered all around the room, the frame was broken and the glass littered the floor between her and the door to the room. Before the girl could do anything to tidy it all up she could hear hurried steps on the stairs and a knock on the door. Shit.
âMaggie, we heard a noise, is it okay for us to come in?â, she could hear the womanâs, worried voice. Had she already messed up this chance of a home? She couldnât get a word out, just stood there and stared. âMaggie, Iâm sorry but if you donât answer me I will have to come in, okay?â, she heard the woman say and it made her snap out of it. âNo!â, she shrieked out but it was too late, the door had already been opened and Y/N carefully peered in, stopping when she saw the damage on the floor and then quickly looking up at Maggie. The teen's lip began to quiver immediately. âI âŚ. I ⌠I didnât mean toâ, she panickedly got out. âIâm SO sorry, I promise I will clean it up, Iâm sorry I just ⌠I âŚâ, she couldnât find words for what was happening.Â
The whole reason for her even beginning to throw stuff around, not wanting to cry, was now senseless because as soon as she realised what she had done, the tears came streaming down her face. She didnât want to leave again already. This couldnât be happening, how did she already blow it up?Â
She didnât notice Y/N ushering Spencer to go and get something to clean the glass off the floor, nor that the woman was carefully stepping around the shards trying to get close to her. âMaggie, Maggie, itâs okay. Itâs all good, itâs just a cheap decoration from Target, itâs okay!â, she tried to calm the girl down. Her voice was steady and soft. Maggie was violently shaking her head and backing away into the other corner of the room, now clutching her mouth with her hands as she stared at the broken frame.Â
âI didnât mean to, please Iâm so sorryâ, she kept saying when she hit the wall behind her. Y/N stopped her attempt to get closer. Clearly, she was scaring the girl, backing her in. So instead the agent kept her distance, holding up her hands to show her she wasnât a threat. âI know you didnât mean to, Maggie, I know and itâs okay, youâre not in trouble, itâs all okay", she said softly. âCan you look up at me please?â Maggie had her eyes shut since she had backed against the wall. She now forced herself to cast her eyes up at the woman standing across from her, she didnât look like she was mad, maybe she was saying the truth.Â
âAre you hurt? Did you get glass somewhere?â, she asked softly and the teen looked down on herself before shaking her head. âOkay, thatâs good. Spencer is bringing up a broom and the vacuum and it will be all goodâ, Y/N smiled at the teen encouragingly just as Spencer appeared again. âI can do itâ, Maggie protested, stepping forward a little. âWe donât want you to hurt yourself, itâs okay, Iâve got it!â, Spencer said with a soft smile on his face as he began to clean away the mess.Â
Y/N looked back from her husband to the teen that was now standing beside the bed, cheeks still damp from tears and arms crossed in front of herself. Y/N chose to sit down on the bed. She softly tapped the bed beside her. âWhy donât you sit with me for a minute, huh?â, she asked and to her surprise, Maggie immediately followed the request. âI want you to know that you are safe here with us and that we understand that you have a lot of feelings going on for you right now. Today must have been a lot and this is all new to you so we get that you might be feeling sad or angry or confusedâ, Y/N said with a steady and soft voice, smiling at the girl and giving her room to take it in.Â
Maggie listened to the woman speak, not knowing what to say. Only after a couple of minutes did a few words slip out. âIt was all too softâ, she finally heard herself speak and she knew in saying that that it didnât make any sense whatsoever. But Y/N didnât question it. âOkayâ, she simply said. âWhat can we do to make it better for you?â Maggie was stunned at the question. What could they do? They already gave her a room and snacks and didnât yell at her after trashing the room. âI⌠I donât knowâ, she said and Y/N nodded. âThatâs okay too. Do you think you got it out a little bit?â The teen nodded. âHow would you like something to eat and a glass of water?â Again, Maggie nodded and Y/N felt a rush of relief that they had finally made a little progress. She looked back at Spencer who had since cleaned up the mess and stood there awkwardly. This had been an eventful first hour.
â--
Together, the three of them went downstairs. Y/N pulled out three bowls and scooped the chilli into them while Spencer got some spoons and glasses and put them out on the table. âYou can sit in whatever spot you wantâ, Y/N explained to the teen who pulled out one of the chairs and sat down watching the two adults carefully. They worked around each other so seamlessly, like a well-oiled machine and somehow they both just radiated calmness and comfort. The girl was still a little shaken up about what she did up in the room, but mostly now she just felt tired and hungry, really hungry.Â
It had been one of those days where they couldnât find anything good to eat in the house and Maggie had given the last of the bread with a little butter and sugar to Lila when they got back from school. Now the room smelled like actually good, warm food and just then Y/N placed a full bowl in front of her while Spencer put a basket with bread on the table too. The two of them sat down too, Spencer filling up all of their glasses with water.Â
âI hope you like chilli, I didnât make it too spicy, Spencer is sensitive like that and I didnât know how youâd like itâ, Y/N explained, but Maggie could already feel her mouth watering just looking at the food in front of her. She quickly looked up at Y/N. âThank you, this looks really deliciousâ, she said politely and as the two adults picked up their spoons she finally started shovelling the comforting, hearty food into her mouth too. She couldnât remember the last time she had had such a good meal. Y/N and Spencer shared the same sombre look watching the girl eat so fast and hectic. It was abundantly clear that she hadnât been getting proper meals for a while now and had arrived hungry.Â
âIs there anything you donât like eating or youâre allergic to Maggie? Just so I know when I do the food shop and meal prep. I thought I could take you with me for the food run tomorrow and you could pick out a few things you likeâ, Y/N started a conversation when Maggie had slowed down a little. The girl perked up at that, surprised by the sentiment. âI ⌠Iâm not allergic to anything I think.â, she said softly, just thankful to eat anything really. âOkay thatâs good to know, and anything you donât like?â, Y/N pushed further. âI for one hate anything with fish or seafood in general, Spencer doesnât like mushrooms, he says theyâre too slimyâ, she chuckled and watched the teenâs lips curve into a small smile.Â
âI donât like mushrooms either, they feel funny, but Iâll eat them, I donât want to be a bother!â, she quickly backtracked. âNo way, you will never have to eat mushrooms here, I will personally make sure of it!â, Spencer now interjected and Maggie chuckled a little at the manâs childish antics. âOkayâ, she said softly. âI also donât really like green beansâ, she added quietly and Y/N beamed at the teen speaking freely. âOh donât worry weâre not the biggest fans of those eitherâ, she assured. âDo you want a second bowl? I think Iâll go for secondsâ, Spencer now interjected seeing the girlâs empty bowl. She nodded. âThank you, that would be niceâ, turning to Y/N she added. âIt tastes really good. Youâre a good cook.â âOh thank you, honey, I donât get to cook that often, so Iâll take the complimentâ, Y/N thanked the girl while Spencer placed their full bowĂś back in front of them.Â
âSo you probably have a lot of questions for us, I imagine itâs a bit scary suddenly living with two strangers, so how about we tell you a little about ourselves and then you can ask us anything?â Maggie looked between the two adults and then nodded before continuing to eat. âOkay, so Spencer and I have been married for a year now and weâve been together for 2 before that. We met at our job. We are both working at the FBI, weâre both agents.â Maggieâs head snapped up at that, and with wide eyes, she looked at the two of them again. THEY were FBI agents? They looked so.. so soft. He was wearing a sweater vest with a funny pattern and she wore fuzzy socks and sweats.Â
âI know we donât look stereotypical FBI right nowâ, Y/N chuckled. âWeâre profilers so really we analyse the minds of criminals in order to catch themâ, she explained and Maggie nodded. âWe usually travel a lot for our job but our boss was okay with one of us staying back with each case so that we can be here for you. We both donât have a lot of family, but we see our colleagues at the BAU as our family and you will meet them too when youâre ready.âÂ
Maggie nodded along, taking it all in for now. Spencer continued after that. âWe both love to read, we have left a few books in your room too, but youâre welcome to help yourself to any book in the house and if you see one youâd like when weâre out just tell one of us weâll get it for you. Y/N also knits while watching her TV shows, Iâm too clumsy for that and I also feel like if youâre gonna watch something you should watch it and not just listen.â That earned him a scoff from Y/N. âItâs called multitasking I've told you before Spencer!â, she defended herself and Maggie smirked at their interaction, they really did seem like nice people. âI can teach you how to knit! Iâve made Spencer a lot of scarves already!â, Y/N now excitedly addressed the girl who bit her lip nervously now that she had finished her food.Â
Maggie shrugged nervously, unsure about what to say to that. âIf I can stay here that might be niceâ, she said softly and Spencer and Y/Nâs faces dropped significantly. The girl had just arrived and was already thinking about having to move on, it made sense, they knew how often that happened, but they werenât gonna let that happen.Â
âIf we get any say in it you stay here as long as you want to, I promise you that, Maggieâ, Y/N said. âWhy?â, the teen asked bluntly. âSorry, what do you mean why?â, Y/N asked, taken aback by the question. âWhy do you want me to stay longer? You could easily foster one of the little ones, theyâre really cute and arenât problems like ⌠like big kids and ⌠and teens..â, she explained herself while stirring in the remnants of her chilli. She couldnât see the cautious and dumbfounded looks Spencer and Y/N gave themselves. Instead, she continued on with her rant.Â
âI just trashed your upstairs bedroom, was really impolite and also, supplies and food are more expensive for bigger kids, teens get into trouble at school a lot more often than little kids and most foster teens above the age of 12 will not find a foster family and live in group homes where theyâre prepared to age out of the system and be self-sufficient and even then 20% of us end up homeless when we turn 18. Older foster kids donât get a chance like this, people like you donât take us, they take the cute ones without trouble, people like me go into group homes or into families that just want to cash their checks. So why would you want me to stay here?â Maggie finally finished her rant leaving Spencer and Y/N speechless.Â
The girl seemed to be shocked by her own words now as her head snapped up suddenly, looking up at the two adults and turning red in embarrassment. She quickly looked down at the table again. not bearing to meet their eyes. They sat there in silence for a moment before Spencer spoke up. âBelieve me, Maggie, I know all the statistics and that is exactly why Y/N and I decided to open our home to older kids like you. You deserve a chance just like the younger kids do, there are safe homes for them but as you said there are significantly fewer for kids above the age of 12 which just isnât fair to any of you. We knew that we didnât like the idea of teens ending up in group homes and ageing out to become homeless. We want to provide a safe and loving home, especially to kids who didnât get the chance beforeâ, Spencer said calmly.Â
âWhat Spencer is saying is true, Maggie. We wanted to expand our family and we knew we didnât want to bring a new baby into this world when there are so many kids who need a safe and loving home. We love kids, donât get us wrong, but youâre still a kid too and what youâre saying isnât entirely right, little kids come with a lot of work too, thatâs not me saying we wouldnât put in all of the work to accommodate whatever anyone staying with us needs, but with little ones, there is a lot of guessing whereas you can talk to us, tell us what you need, what you feel like. It can be a lot of fun to have a teenager in the house, we can talk about books and shows and Spencer and I get to feel young againâ, she joked to ease the tension. âAnd with one of us being on their own from time to time because of our jobs, we also felt like it just made sense to take in older kids and teens like you because you would understand why one of us had to go from time to time, you know?âÂ
Maggie was taking in what the two of them were saying, embarrassed about what she had laid off on them. She never usually spoke up like that, people didnât tend to listen to her anyways but apparently, Spencer and Y/N had listened and Maggie had to admit that what they were saying now sounded sincere. Nevertheless, she couldnât let herself trust this yet. She could still be whisked away any second because of some stupid reason. For now, though she nodded and gathered all of her courage to look up at the two of them and smiled softly. âOkay", she said, deciding at that moment that she would try and hope one more time that this could be it. That maybe these people could be something like family one day.
For this Saturday / Sunday, plus all of next week, each post will be another genre with 10 color-themed titles. Today, we have purple queer fantasy books đđŽđžâŻď¸đ
10 Fantasy Titles: For this Saturday / Sunday, plus all of next week, each post will be another genre with 10 color-themed titles. Today, we have purple queer fantasy books đđŽđžâŻď¸đ ..... View the full summary and rep info on wordpress!
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2. Stop sharing the fact you've adopted and the child's story.
3. Adoption isn't the answer to abortion. Many kids are available for adoption and aren't adopted. We need more health care benefits not adoptions.
4. Adoptive parents shouldn't be seen as saviors. We shouldn't be made to feel grateful.
5. Stop it with the child to grow up to ne the next Lebron James, Steve Jobs, cure for cancer. All of these things require resources and a dedicated family. A child born into certain circumstances will have a harder time just getting a basic education. Also, Simone Biles shouldn't be made the face of adoption or foster care. Being adopted by your rich /parents grandparents doesn't represent all of us adoptees. It's rare in foster care. If her parents weren't rich, they wouldn't be able to afford gymnastics as, from what I was told, many foster parents aren't rich. So, using Simone as some kind of argument against abortion and for adoption is gross. Her family simply had the resources to afford such an expensive sport that has nothing to do with adoption. Plus she's with family not strangers. That's different. Plenty of kids currently in foster care many people don't care about.
6. The system is broken. Adoption doesn't mean better life. Some adoptees were abused or even rehomed aka disrupted from their adoptive homes. Many kids enter foster care and go from home to home until aging out. Some adoptees don't have good relationships with their adoptive parents. It's not a one size fits all.
7. Adoption is hard work for both sides. The adoptee and the adopted parent. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. I often feel I'm not good enough. I'm getting married soon and I have doubts of being a good wife and even if I'll be a good mom. Sometimes I don't like being adopted because it was something I didn't chose and it explains why I'm a control freak. Adoption leaves a huge hole in your heart and soul. My own birth mom didn't want me and that will never change. As I get older, it only gets harder.
Reddit does this thing where they try to crash a charity site by donating too much once a year
TL;DR: here's a super cool charity that gives gifts to foster kids, donate if you can or reblog to signal boost.
The charity is One Simple Wish, where you send money to pay for things for kids in foster care. There are over 500 thousand kids in foster care each year just in the United States, and 22 thousand of those kids will age out alone without stable conditions and with little resources and knowledge to survive.
One Simple Wish helps by allowing you to grant a wish for a foster kid or former foster youth, which could be anything from a new pair of shoes for Christmas to helping former foster youth stock their pantries to bed frames and bikes. And you get to leave them a note that shows how much you care. A lot of these are expensive though, so you also have the option of donating any amount of money you're able to directly to the charity.
Are we going to let Reddit be better at this than us? Sure, we can be known as the site that creates a fandom for a nonexistent movie. That's awesome, and I love it. But we could also be known as the site that was better than reddit at breaking this charity's website by donating so much their servers were overloaded.
This doesn't mean we have to grant every wish possible and spend hundreds of dollars each. If we all rally together, giving whatever we can, even if that's only two or three dollars for you, we can do this. And if you can't give anything, that's fine, too. Reblog and boost this post. Tell your friends. Spread the word.
Most of these kids just want something special for Christmas because they don't have much. Can we help them get that?
And if for whatever reason, you don't want to donate to them, my next reccomendation is @sharonsaysso on insta. She's holding her holiday giving drive, where her followers have donated over 500 thousand dollars to help people in need over the past few days. Her community over there is wonderful, too. Her drive is only lasting a few more days, though, so you have to donate fast for hers.
So what do you say guys? Can we work together one step at a time to make the world a little bit better (and to beat reddit at this)? Click here to go donate or grant a wish.
If you do end up donating, feel free to reblog this or make your own post and tag me, so we can all celebrate each other's contributions, no matter how big or small. So far, I've granted a $100 wish for a kid named Haley to get a hoverboard for Christmas and $50 a few days ago for Sharon.