#floyuu

twst au but everyone is in love with prefect

part 1 [probably], pt. 2

(Can be read as a stand alone but is written with CG!Yuu in mind)

Content warning for talk of weapons, violence, and implied nsfw

Team Heartslabyul

Riddle: Soldier

• Is what Soldier thinks he is

• The self-appointed leader of Team Heartslabyul

• More suited for Demoman but his mom thought a Soldier would be more respectable (originally wanted him to be a Medic but that spot was already taken)

• Will never admit how much he enjoys rocket jumping

• Make him mad enough and he'll go full Trolldier on you

• Salutes to a portrait of Rick May every morning (rest in peace o7)

Ace: Scout

• Annoying little shit, as all Scouts are and should strive to be

• If he wasn't so good at flanking, Riddle would've gotten rid of him after his first day

• In love with Yuu Pauling (unrequited)

• Thinks Yuu has a thing for Deuce and is carefully observing him to figure out why (will deny there is any other reason for wanting to be around him so much)

• Lowkey more terrified of Trey than of Riddle

Deuce: Engineer

• Battle Engie

• Sought out as a Scout because of all the delinquent stuff he was doing. Surprised everyone by signing up for Engineer instead

• Goes delinquent when his buildings get destroyed

• Frequently not helped at all by his team

• Was born with two hands and still has both (for now...)

• "Why does it always get so hot when Ace is staring at me?"

• Doesn't often call for a Medic because he's been in enough back alley fights that he can take a couple hits and patch himself up with medkits. Figures Trey is probably super busy with everyone else anyway and doesn't want to bother him

Trey: Medic

• What the fuck is he doing here?

• You'd think someone as supposedly normal as this guy would pick literally any other profession other than "kill everyone who isn't wearing the same color shirt as you. Don't get shot or blown up or pissed on."

• Too much drama in the Heartslabyul base for him –_–;

• Only goes full Medic when it comes to teeth

• Currently experimenting to see if sweets exposed to the Medigun will promote better dental hygiene

• If he hears someone screaming for a Medic one more time he will actively pray there is a Spy nearby to kill him (or, in Jade's case, give him a nice distraction)

Cater: Sniper

• Somehow managed to rig his scope to take a picture every time he takes a shot. Posts his successful headshots on the internet for a surprisingly large audience of fans (Magicam is a wild place in this au)

• Emotional constipation central

• This random owl just landed on Cater's shoulder while he was streaming a q&a one night and has been visiting him every night since. She doesn't do anything special while she's there, but Cater's followers absolutely loved her just for existing

• Gets scolded by Trey for smoking (who's more concerned about his teeth than his lungs)

• The remorseful creator of the Bazaar Bargain. Traumatized himself and everyone else when he literally blew someone's head off their shoulders (Floyd and Eyelander took this as a challenge)

Team Savanaclaw

Leona: Demoman

• Can be really good at his job, but too depressed and jaded to bother unless he's up against Diasomnia. Half the time he ditched the job entirely

• Coping with Scrumpy

• Lost his left eye to the Bombinomicon. It's been replaced a couple of times, but...

• So fucking rich. Uses his wealth to spoil his team (will never admit to it, through)

Jack: Heavy

• Protective boi™

• Has sacrificed himself more than once to keep an unfazed Leona from dying

• Is willing to share his sandwiches with those who need them, unless you steal it instead of asking him (Ruggie)

• The bane of Deuce's existence. He's sent this poor boy to respawn so many times that he's actually starting to feel kinda bad for him ("Where is this guy's team? Why are they not backing him up?")

• Ace, on the other hand, gets no remorse. Even he'll admit putting a stop to that loudmouth's cheap flanks every now and then feels pretty satisfying.

• Lowkey hogs the gym. Sneaks Epel in and thinks Leona has no idea (he knows)

Ruggie: Sniper

• Lives in a van down by the river

• Will take any opportunity to steal a sandwich off his opponents or teammates

• Saw jarate and thought "what if that was a gun?" Proceeds to create the Sydney Sleeper (Leona is very amused)

• Really good with the poor kids in Teufort equivalent town nearby (the only people he shares food with)

• Most of his income goes to his grandma

Team Octavinelle

Azul: Medic

• Supposedly the leader of Team Octavinelle by merit of intelligence and skill (Jade and Floyd do not care)

• Blackmailed Crowley into letting him open up a restaurant under the base.

• Sells homemade products and cosmetics in exchange for both money and illegal animal parts. Has banned the tweels from using this service because they keeps trading their products for rare mushrooms and random crap Floyd finds interesting (this has not stopped them)

• Wants Jamil on his team so bad. Would order a hit on any of his teammates (except Jade and Floyd ofc) if it meant freeing up a spot for him (Jade would take on a different class if this happened)

Jade: Spy

• All the terrible voice impressions

• Has learned how to be every class and knows how to use all their weapons. This does not mean he's perfect with all of them (rocket/sticky jumping)

• Will occasionally disguise himself to sneak onto a battlefield where his team isn't fighting just to be a nuisance (or to entertain a very special Medic)

• Sneaks into bases as well. Could steal their intelligence at any time, but doesn't. Instead, he just leaves random crap around and maybe slightly rotates the briefcase in its box to screw with people (he really just wants to hang out with that Medic)

• Has a pet crab whom he occasionally sets loose with a knife

Floyd: Demoman

• Run

• You never know what kind of playstyle he's gonna go with. Sticky spamming? Demoknight? Just smacking people with a frying pan? You'll never know until he kills you

• Wears an eyepatch just like Leona. Only difference there's nothing wrong with his eye, he just wears it because it looks cool

• Found Eyelander in a viking shipwreck and brings it everywhere he goes. Eyelander did not agree to this

• Yuu's real love interest (he lets them blow stuff up when they're having a bad day)

Team Scarabia

Kalim: Pyro

• Does not know he was hired as a mercenary (yet)

• Wears a full gas mask with Pyro vision goggles so he has no idea he is committing atrocities with a flamethrower (YET)

• Basically the Asim family got targeted by someone (probably a robot army), so they sent Kalim to Team Scarabia so he could be under Jamil's protection. This involved protecting his identity by concealing his face with a gas mask and equipping him with Pyro vision to keep him complacent until he's totally alone or with Jamil

• He's not entirely oblivious to the situation. He's aware his family is in danger and is not allowed to show his face to his teammates other than Jamil. As far as he knows, it's basically witness protection. He just doesn't know about all the mercenary stuff (YET)

• Pyro vision for Kalim isn't nearly as infantile as it is for regular Pyro. Kalim basically sees a normal job that happens to require a gas mask due to working with harmful chemicals (probably something like pest control idk)

Jamil: Spy

• "PLEASE JUST LET ME DO MY JOB THAT'S ALL I WANT I DON'T NEED ALL THIS EXTRA BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE!!!!!" - Jamil, internally, every single day

• Loved his job until he was stuck with Kalim again ("I took this job to get away from you and your family what the fuck")

• Jamil's priorities before Kalim joined the team: 1) Make money for family until they have enough to escape servitude 2) Complete the objective 3) Azul go away

• Jamil's priorities after Kalim joined the team: 1) Keep Kalim from dying 2) Keep Kalim's identity concealed 3) AZUL GO AWAY

• Has learned to understand what Kalim is saying through the mask. Is now the designated Pyro translator

Team Pomefiore

Vil: Spy

• Often absent for large stretches of time due to his acting career, leaving Rook in charge. Still checks in daily to make sure the base is still operating to his standards

• The only spy who wears the ski mask so none of the mercs find out who he is (Rook would obviously figure it out immediately, though). Owns a shit ton of masks that he switches out after assignments

• If you dare get blood on his suit, you will subjected to his 3 day long torture program until you can be a proper gentleman and not a barbarian running around with a gun. A.K.A.: "SEDUCE ME!"

• Azul's number one illegal trade customer

• Was supposed to be blackmailing Rook to keep his identity a secret. Ended up falling in love with him instead (they're fucking *gets backstabbed*)

Epel: Scout

• Single-handedly ruining Team Pomefiore's "classy but deadly" reputation (as if Rook isn't pissing into jars and throwing them at people)

• Vil makes him wear the lamest cosmetics to make him look somewhat dignified

• Can chug 3 cans of BONK! in less than three minutes (Ace is drowning himself trying to top that)

• Has been subjected to Vil's "SEDUCE ME!" lessons many times with predictably disappointing results

• Hangs out with Jack outside of battle. They like to talk fitness and strength building. Epel is certain that Vil doesn't know about this (he knows)

• Gives Jack special soil for his cacti in exchange for sandwiches

Rook: Sniper

• You ever wondered what a lovechild between a RED Sniper and a BLU Spy would look like? Look no further

• Got out of jail by taking this job

• Advocated for Ruggie to become Team Savanaclaw's Sniper when he transferred to Team Pomefiore

• Yellow belt master of Jarate (much to Vil's chagrin)

• Can instantly tell who's an enemy Spy once they're close enough

• Also sneaks into enemy bases with no intention of stealing their briefcases. He's just a creep who needs to be thrown out (usually through a window)

Team Ignihyde

Idia: Engineer

• His parents run the weapons manufacturing branch of the company that supplies the teams. Gets free early access to all the best stuff

• Will hole himself up in his room/workshop any day he gets off, either to work on his machines or just chill with his games

• Built all the Dr. Grordborg weapons and other weird sci-fi weapons (C.A.P.P.E.R., Batsaber, Shooting Star, etc.)

• Will only talk to his teammates in person if absolutely necessary. Otherwise, you're only gonna hear him through the base's PA system or the mini TV mounted on an RC car

Ortho: Heavy

• Idia wished upon a star and his sentry became a real boy (/j)

• Basically a humanoid gatling gun on roller skates. They wouldn't let Idia make him fly because he would be "too dangerous" (can't make a Heavy too op now)

• Super friendly outside the battlefield, unless you say something rude about Idia. During combat, though, no matter how well you get along with him before, you're dead to him now (figuratively, and most likely, literally)

• It's not uncommon to see him dragging Idia out of his workshop when he feels he's been in there too long

Team Diasomnia

Malleus: Pyro

• Got sick of his lonely life in his castle so he became a mercenary

• One of the few characters I'm allowing to have magic in this au, but he's not allowed to use it on the battlefield (because again, too op)

• Still adjusting to life in a mercenary base instead of a medieval castle. Breaks several appliances at least six times every month or so (pray for Team Diasomnia's Engineer)

• His weapons also frequently need repaired because he handles them so roughly. This is why most of his melee weapons are just random junk that he can break with out it costing a fortune to repair and replace

• Can bring Pyro vision weapons into reality for those who want to use to cope after... certain events (Kalim)

Lilia: Heavy

• He's been at this mercenary shit for a long time. He's got experience in every class

• Used to be on this legendary team but was fired after their leader's death. Took a long hiatus until Malleus joined was picked up as a merc

• Raised and trained Silver to function as any class. Threw a party when he was brought on

• He does not make his own sandwiches (thank God)

• His minigun's name is Lenora

Silver: Medic

• Poor guy constantly falls asleep on the field despite the pipe bombs and bullets flying at him from every direction. He isn't even surprised when he wakes up in respawn anymore

• The birds came along with him when he joined the team. He didn't bring them or invite them, they just kinda followed him there

• Was also feeding that owl for a while before it mysteriously stopped showing up at his window

• Picked this class due to its proximity to the Heavy. He and Lilia are the #1 Über pair, with Sebek being a close second

Sebek: Soldier

• If you even look at Malleus in a way that doesn't communicate complete awe and respect, you're getting smacked in the head with a shovel. He is so Sebek what America is to the og Soldier

• Chose to be a Soldier because that's what his grandpa was during his merc days

• Rip to all of his teammates who wear headset cosmetics

• Salutes to a portrait of Malleus and Rick May every morning (o7)

• Constantly complains about Silver's abilities as a Medic even though he's by far the one who pockets him the most

• Frequently attacked by birds

• Definitely not in love with his freaky ghost roommate

(Read from left to right)

“ the moon is beautiful — isn't me ”

floyuu animatic because i have free will