Alright, humes? You know, I've always thought of myself as a bit of a gypsy. I go where I please, I do what I want - and I look rather dapper in an OTT wedding get-up. (I'm not sure I've chosen the right shade of lipstick for today's photograph, though. A coral pink would have been more flattering. Still, you live and learn.)
Because of my "traveller leanings", I felt a certain degree of empathy with the clan in tonight's Big Fat Gypsy Weddings: Life on the Run. The cameras followed a group of seven families as they travelled from place to place in a massive convoy for a year - pitching up in public parks, where they risked the wrath of local residents and officials. I know how they feel. I'm never welcome when I nip next-door for a poo in the flowerbed.
Of course, this being Big Fat Gypsy Weddings, we were also treated to a look at yet another wedding. Helen was marrying David three months after "meeting" him on BlackBerry Messenger. (Don't young humes ever just get off with one another in pubs any more?) Shortly after the wedding scene, I briefly became distracted by a pigeon's ugly fizzog looking through our lounge window. When I turned back to the telly, Helen was expecting twins. Blimey! These travellers are fast movers.
But that's not all! We also got to follow a "big fat gypsy" called Jimmy as he tried to swap his caravan for a nice family home and underwent gastric band surgery. See? Channel 4 certainly make sure they've got all bases covered with these documentaries. Whether you like graphic medical scenes, property-hunting or fancy frocks, there's something for everyone!
Want to help a cat become Top Dog, humes? Help me see off that pesky pigeon Pete on my favourite app, TVcheck. You can download version 2 from Google Play or iTunes. Don’t delay - ruffle some feathers today!