#firefly.

@damned--irony

Can a machine really be grateful enough for its existence that it’s allowed to feel? Before Firefly’s world was demolished, that was something she asked one of her sisters. Them two full of wires, not allowed to get out of their SAM suits without directly disobeying orders, asking each other if their system is competent enough at being alive that they can be grateful? Is such a thing possible for a computer, even one that looks like a girl?

Firefly is a confusing mixture of organic genetic material and wires. Metal. Computer parts, synthetic ears and vocal chords. Taking the fallibility out of humanity, though their aesthetic was nice.

Ren isn’t human, so she doesn’t have to worry about him trying to make her feel better falsely. There’s no gooey honey to his voice, no: you’re human. She wasn’t asking if she was human. Ren knew that. Understood her.

Firefly doesn’t have to watch her facial expressions as much around him. She knows what he sees himself as—some amalgamation of truth, mixed in with falsehoods, coming back with tight threads that he threatens to escape from. Some amount of flesh without soul. It is.. reassuring. She’d never tell him so, that this combination of lies he lives and has to endure reassures her of herself. That she is capable of being both.

He shouldn’t have to endure suffering for her to feel real—and it’s not that, but it is. Ren makes her feel real. More than a weapon. More than a soldier without orders. More             than             a             walking            tombstone. one day meant to die as her world died, in flames.

She feels his jacket fall on her shoulders and resists the functional urge of tears beyond their original purpose. It’s to clear debris from the eyes,  and yet she feels the sting of them. Ren makes her heart ache.

❛ I feel more real with you, Ren. Like I’m… more capable of it. Of truth and reality. ❜ She loves Penacony and its winding passages and roads. She loves to watch Ren navigate them with precision. It always surprises her, this place, its depths. There’s always another secret. She tugs the jacket closer to herself. She’s incapable of being cold, but if she imagines hard enough, it could almost be true.

❛ I know the first thing that’s real is.. important you are to me, Ren. That’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt. ❜ and fear.

i have been afraid.

My attempt at a Chinese-American union flag, inspired by the Alliance from Firefly. Tips for improvement?