#feeling again

So first off, I just kicked meth and quit cigs (also I'm at about a year with alcohol)

I've been like hungry AF since I kicked, all 18 days of it, and just a moment ago I became food satisfied.

How much I’ve questioned God about feeling disconnected in myself and in my relationships with close friends and family, and how much I miss that feeling of connection with others outside of myself. I guess that was all before my trust was betrayed though. Not sure if your trust fully comes back!! 😕

All I know is I’ve been coming out of the ‘numb feeling’ a while now, and I’ve been feeling all the pain that I swallowed so deep down years ago when he first ghosted me. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

I don’t have all the answers yet, but I know we can’t give up and rather than sweat about everything, just keep dancing and allowing yourself to be free again! 💃🏻✨ Sometimes I feel stiff and like everything is so pent up, but when I start dancing around the house, then I can just laugh and just feel myself releasing all these pent-up complex emotions!!!!

Obviously, everyone is different, and I hear a lot of people say to go be in nature, but I’m not a nature person lol. I’m a homebody that likes to be indoors where it’s comfortable, and I’ve always connected with music on a spiritual level, and that’s why dancing to music is such a great experience for me. You just have to find what works for you because everyone is different.

I'm looking up at the sky

With that same sparklw in my eyes, I had back then

&&&

This strange feeling, I vaugley remember having, way back when...

Did it feel like we were back then?

Did you replace the feeling all together or just the body you decided to fill my space with?

Did you miss me at all or just when you didn't have any more promises to keep?

Did it occur to you that I ache every night at 3am?

Did you feel? Did you ever feel what I felt?

Did your heart ever beat at the same rhythm as mine did? Did you? Did you?!