#illustrans

a novel sort of naked --

a nerve laid bare by

the tentative archaeology

of treasuring you

I remember trembling

a beautiful new flavour

of aching

this could kill me,

I’d call the version of me

who wasn’t afraid to love loudly.

Because if the world was ending,

No more

carbon steel skies,

no more

eyeless disgust.

My wrists are cleansed

of my own weight.

I see a single blessing

as a bountiful purpose,

one that keeps my feet

planted

on this shy world.

There are terrible stimuli

that grovel for my focus;

I acknowledge them

and either fix them

or move on

without feeding them

a single crumb

our city hasn’t seen the last

of these april showers just yet

he cautioned us to be prepared

for flooding, when rain hits los angeles

the sky never lets us forget

this city has been my home

for almost too long

next month i turn twenty five and

i don’t know where the time has gone

how dare i still feel like this?

my early twenties will never

be something that i miss

i have never enjoyed living;

happiness is something that i’ve

always dismissed

i can’t believe i still feel like this

why didn’t i try harder not to?