The drinks tonight were well earned. And they didn’t make me sad. I had people around me that I wanted to warmly bid goodbye before my flight tomorrow. I cried still because one of them looked me in the eye and named my wounds, told me she had the same and how she healed them. Then I exchanged le bise with my new French friend (customary cheek kisses) and then we went watched the stars. The clouds were possessive of them and hid a majority but we still spotted a few. And two fireflies too. This is how I want to drink alcohol. To celebrate, to unwind, in a room full of people, a lot of whom I like, with good food and purpose. Not as a self destructive thing. Not to make myself feel more lonely and sad. Not as a pass to do something reckless. There was no guy I wanted to call or text after getting tipsy tonight. I was present. I was laced in joy. I was aware of my own existence. Yes, that’s the only way I want to consume alcohol going forward.
