#exploring headspace

I got into headspace and had a look around. Kai was in the kitchen, going through the first-aid kit to make sure everything was still usable.

Keigo admired my new haircut.

Toya wasn't around. I asked them where he was. And they said he was out back. So I went to go see him.

He seemed lost in thought, leaning against the wall next to the door.

I asked him if he was okay, and he shrugged and said he was fine, and that he wanted to go with me to see the canyon again. I told him yes and took his hand.

When we got to the canyon, we walked along the river until we came to the place where it widens. At the end of that section, we saw a mass standing there and rooting around. It raised its head and sniffed the air, and turned to face us. The mass stepped into the sun, revealing itself to be the white, sickly, scarred rex.

It stiffly walked toward us. And when it got to us, it leaned down, opening its mouth to grab us. It was missing several teeth; some were cracked and broken off, while others were just...holes.

Toya's hands lit up as he activated his quirk; he was going to protect me. However, in the blink of an eye, the white one was knocked over. The black rex had it pinned to the ground, holding her neck in his teeth.

They fought for what felt like hours until the white one gave up.

The black rex let her go, and looked at Toya and I. The white rex got up and limped off upriver.

The black rex turned to go downriver at a slow pace, gesturing with his head for us to follow.

The black rex lead Toya and I to a cave deep within Trilobite Canyon. The cave is lined with various gemstones; various quartzes, rubies, sapphires, topazes. Lots of them.

The cave is quite long, and leads to a dead end. At that dead end, the gemstones give way to cave paintings. Paintings of dinosaurs, mammoths, and nautiluses--probably ammonites-- litter the walls of the cave. They're all simplistic, as though they were made by early man. At the dead end itself, a T-Rex skeleton is embedded into the wall. It shows signs of breakage and regrowth, like healed breaks. It's contorted in its death pose.

I asked the black rex who the bones used to be. He leaned down and bumped his nose against me.

"You." he seemed to say. I tried to argue that it isn't, but he insisted. "Though you may be physically here, in your mind and spirit, you are of my flesh and blood--of my tooth and claw. You may not look like me, but you are of my kind."

The black rex then lead Toya and I out of the cave, and walks us back to where the valley meets the canyon. He tells me to go home for now. So, I do. I walked with Toya back to the house, and returned here.

So, I went back to the Shadow Forest this morning to see what had happened after Toya set it alight. Toya, Keigo, and Kai all went with me, since Osprey was likely to be there. We walked out the back door, through Wildflower Forest, east of Turtle Lake, and passed Bear Rock. We went behind the cabin, and neared our destination.

A wide swath of the Shadow Forest was a burnt out shell. Trees were blackened and dead, some of which had fallen over. The grass was naught but ash, leaving deep gray to smother what was left of the greenery. Some spots still had smoldering, blue embers. Just several feet beyond, however, the trees remained untouched. It was surreal--almost dream like.

As we all stared out at the destruction, a large shadow glided overhead. And a gaunt, almost vulture like shape landed on one of the charred branches. It stared at us with cold, emotionless eyes. I knew immediately that it was Osprey.

"Back already?" his voice was as icy as his stare, "I was certain you'd never come back."

I explained to him that I was curious as to how the forest looked after our harrowing encounter. And he replied with:

"Don't you know that curiosity killed the cat?"

"Yeah, but satisfaction saved it." I blurted that out carelessly-- I don't know why. The look of surprise that came to Osprey's face was a little funny, though. So, I suppose it was worth it.

"Well, aren't you smart?" A compliment that Keigo would usually give, cut sharply with bitter sarcasm. I hate that tone. He spread his wings. The flight feathers--or what remained of them-- were charred. Some of them had curled in on themselves. And others fell to earth. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. He managed to jump off the branch and glide to one further off.

I don't really remember most of the conversation after that. However, I do remember the last bit. Kai had taken it upon himself to get to the heart of the matter, and he asked:

"Everyone here has a purpose. What's yours?"

Osprey looked at us, his eyes narrowed. He leaped and began gliding again, "I have no purpose." He disappeared into the remains of the Shadow Forest. And now, I'm back here.

This time, I came to headspace in Kai's office. It's a space of modest size with several bookshelves. The carpet is plush and green, like grass. Most of the books that line the shelves are medical in nature. However, there's a small space dedicated to prehistory. Several dinosaur books dot that space-- my space.

I leave Kai's office and see the guys in the kitchen. I ask them if they wanted to walk through the woods with me. They all agree, and we walk out the back door and into the woods. We pass the red wildflowers, go along the muddy lakeshore -- where turtles sit basking in the sun-- and we enter the clearing on the eastern side. I go and sit on Bear Rock and look around. I see blackberry bushes and apple trees. All heavy with ripe fruit. Then, I catch movement in the corner of my eye. I turn my head to look, and I see a big, white lump in the tall grass. It moves, and I hear a rhythmic *thump thump* as it starts walking toward me. It emerges from the grass.

It's a big, white bear. The bear looks up at me, a glimmer of sentience in its eyes. I come down off of Bear Rock and get a closer look at the white bear. As I take a step closer, it rears up on its hind legs, towering over me. When I'm right in front of it. it places a paw on top of my head, and begins to speak.

"I know you." It says. Its voice is both masculine, and feminine. Light, and heavy, "Yet you do not know me." It stares down at me, a gentle warmth in its eyes. I feel the beginnings of fear inside me. But it speaks again before I realize what it is I'm feeling. "Fear not. For I am hear to help you." It pauses as it stares into my eyes, "You are fearful of what's to come. Afraid of what must be done." She presses her forehead to mine. "Though you are afraid, you must change what you fear changing." It goes back down onto four paws and leads me through the tall grass into another clearing.

There, sits a log cabin, and a small koi pond. "Should you wish to speak with me again, you can enter through here."

At that point, my focus began to falter. So, she walked us all back through the grass, through the clearing, along the muddy lakeshore, and up through the wildflower forest; to the back door of the house. I thank her for her wisdom, and enter. I then go back through the house, to the door that leads to front. And I step through it.

I'm still thinking of the white bear. Her presence was....quite comforting. Like a mother. I wonder if she's a spirit guide, or maybe an ancestor taking a different shape. Maybe someone out there can help me out on this one.