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seen from United States

seen from United States
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Just wrote down one of the most insane, nasty, disgusting, repulsive, and smutty journal entries I have ever written and then I finished it with “Also we saw the new Minions last night.”
17/10/23
Rambles of a miserable soul.
Nighttime Satin Skies
In the loneliest hours,
My inner ramblings Echo too loud, Reverberating against The confines of pale Drywall of dull shades And aging venetian blinds
Take to the darkened pathways Where shadow play tricks On the ascent cloaked in Robes of gnarled oak And parasols of pine
The dimmed scent of Cedar tincture to my temples
The dead of body, The dead of heart, Passengers in the Transit lounge of memory,
Their faces pressed against The glass leaving smudged Traces outlined in lipstick
Darker and darker becomes The shade as I climb higher and higher
Thicker and thicker, the thicket and undergrowth
The destination I cannot name nor discern
Until the glade opens itself to me
Under the moon’s feral grin, I exhale,
Collapsing serene under nighttime satin skies

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Hardly no time passed from the fireworks gaze to 13 telling Yaz how she feels about her so I hope the centenary episode will start at a point where they have spent a lot of time together since we last saw them, to the point that it’s clearly visible how much closer (physically and emotionally) they are with each other. Going from the beach scene straight to a regeneration episode without giving them more moments together will be very cruel for absolute no reason.
Midnight Diary, passage 1.
03/02/2022 00:18
For the last few months, I have been feeling like a ship floating around without an anchor. Lately, I have been asking myself, if there are other ships like me and for how long can I float till I reach the end of the world? Is there an end to these endless waves? Or are they endless like my thoughts and questions?
It feels like I am trying to look for the bottom of the lake with my toes. I am stretching my body out, puckering my lips for air while my toes desperately search for the sand I should be feeling. Instead, I feel the cold of the water seep into my skin. The deepness of the lake feels cold and frightening because I do not know what could be swimming beneath my feet.
I feel lost and alone, and sometimes it scares me while sometimes I feel at peace. I do not want to be anchored in the sea, set like a stone in a place I can not escape. However, sometimes I wish to find the stability, the stability I feel when I finally reach a place in a lake where I can find my footing. When I find my footing I have time to breathe and look at how far I have come already.
207.
Pacing
Agitation
Tapping fingers on the table
Ice cold, yet red hot
Engaging in small talk to pass the time
Not overthinking overthinking, never
Creating a black hole of endless thoughts
Emerging better than you were before