#lets talk

Disclaimer: here I am talking about things like shows, music, series, books, and not idk like HUMAN RIGHTS OR POLITICS. I know those things are intertwined and can be questioned too (which can be very interesting discussion), but here we are talking about things that can be argued and not idk if you are a fucking fascist.

So now that you read my disclaimer we can focus on the things we gathered here to talk about.

And just like that let's set one thing straight. People are different, in the sense of opinions, in their likes and dislikes. We are not the same, because we do not live the same lives and we do not experience the same things. Our livelihood depends entirely on socioeconomic, cultural and demographic context. That's why in the cause of discovery, people, or mainly, sociologists, such as myself, study subjects one by one. By subjects, I mean, cases or any other fancy word you think is adequate to apply to your study.

By studying or learning new information we have to accept that we read perspectives, we do not only read facts (except maybe exact sciences and even then not all of them), we read opinions, and we choose which opinions are relevant to us. In sociology, while studying different aspects of different things we do not tend to moralize the study subject, which is from time to time is extremely hard thing to do.

And even then, most of the sociologists choose their area of research and stick to it as it's not easy to be opposed or questioned almost in everything. So, that's why in this paper we will stick to the chosen position from the get go. My main point is to discuss what happens to us, humans, when we hear, someone close to us, someone we care about, not liking something that we chose to like. Something that we invested a lot of time in, something that makes us smile. From the research that I have done online there is not really a clear response to what should we or should not do.

Do we have to justify our opinion? Do we seek validation? Do we find the root of the problem, and try to argue it? What would be a correct response in that situation? How do we even react? From what I have seen online there are various steps we should take in order to what? Not to care anymore? But would that be a correct response? What if something that our friend tells us he dislikes in our interest is completely true? How do we deal with that?

And just like that, not taking anymore of your time (a lie) we shall dive deeper into that.

I, from what you probably already gathered, I do not like to be incorrect in my opinions. Not as a sociologist but as a human being. But as you grow old, there is something that you learn. You are almost never correct, because you are almost always know nothing. Of course it variate from person to person, but you get it. We are small beings in this world and even smaller in the whole universe. Lets go step by step:

We like something, we liked it for a very long time, we know our interest from the front to back and from the back to the front. We even know the negative points because we can't stay ignorant, because in our current world it's not something we can't afford to be. __ Are you following? …Good, good. Do not forget about how small we are.

We acknowledge the negatives in our interest. We do not dare defend it, because it is true and you don't want to seem morally wrong or you, yourself can't accept to be morally wrong. We know the faults, we do not excuse them.

And here comes the argument "but …….. but ………. but" from people.

What should be made out of our position. Everything starts with the way people talk to us. We may seem careless or maybe even weak in conversation but we do not let anyone take advantage of that. We try but it's hard, because you do not want to seem defensive but you know something is wrong in the discussion, you just not now what yet. We fear the worst. And let me tell you what fear it is.

We fear being stupid, looking stupid, we fear them being smarter we fear them being right. And so, in the grand scheme of things nothing like this matters. If you know you are going against your values, and you have no arguments to give, you should quit your interest. It is not worth stressing over. But if it gives you comfort that you can't find anywhere else. Read carefully, it is not your job to make someone like the same things you like, it is not even your business if they don't like something you like. You do not need validation from people who argue just to seem smarter. You do not argue with people who consider themselves morally high. I know you already thought it through in it's entirety, weighting the good and the bad, so stop feeling guilty for someone's feelings because if we reach just a bit deeper we find something that can break us down. We find hate. And if we find hate, we start hating. And there is just no coming back from there.

I'm an artist and a writer -- and thus always doomed to eventually fall into a rut of inspiration. Can you relate?? Perhaps in a bit of rut yourself mayhaps????

I've started to come across blogs already that will certainly help with keeping my creativity flowing buttttttt as I'm sure anyone reading this because of the tags can appreciate, real inspiration always comes from our interactions with other people. Meaningful ones.

Soooooo, we should chat. <3 (21+ only, 30, 40, 50+ preferred please.)

Started reading House of Psychotic women by Kier-La Janisse, and its full of amazing pictures and posters from the horror movies she writes about. I was thinking to upload my favorites here as i read the book, maybe u guys will find them as cool as i do.

Hit me up if u wanna talk about the book!

This contains spoilers for the [Amazing Digital Circus movie] and it also contains images from such movie so if you didn't watch it...GO AND WATCH IT BECAUSE ITS FREE ON YOUTUBE - also this contains some misspelling (probably from my autocorrect) and fluid cussing now and then....it also contains theories an my own thoughts about Jax as a whole so if you don't agree with my perspective it's ok!.

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Ok, this was your last warning for spoilers so, here I go.

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*First of all I will go with Jax with (She/her/he/him) pronouns since I think Jax is more gender fluid in my opinion despite the creator saying their fully trans but character wise it doesn't feel right. So I will go with such pronouns for Jax when referring to them. Cool? Cool.

(Jax in my perspective with some gaps)

So, Jax. From the movie we all know the signs and what others pointed out that was clearly EGG coded (EGG stands for being trans but not fully coming out of the shell) - like when Jax was forced to wear the maid outfit by the win of votes and acted like it was the end of the world, bullied the only women in the circus because the women in the circus were supper comfortable being themselves and Jax couldn't understand why these ladies were confident in their own way despite looking "ridiculus", when Jax said her tail was the EPIDEMY of masculinity but when she wanted to show it off it vanished which could go both ways...rather she lost her tail hense she isn't so masculine as she wants to present herself to be or it's just a silly gag at the moment (because some theories say "losing the tail = no more virginity / she got surgery" which is wrong in my eyes, if they are copies of the person in the moment how could a character suddenly have surgery if the copy is not the same as the actual Irl person??? Also yall were too horny for Jax when those theories came out wtf).

Jax also has signs of PTSD, toxic masculinity, low self-esteem, parental issues, depression and some form of masking.

When Jax was arguing with their mom he probably did tell her "so what if I don't want to be a man?!" Or something along those words because most trans folks do lash out like that without realizing it (I've seen it happen before) and it could be possible that his mom didn't understand and kept mocking Jax until she calmed down seeing Jax break down and did try to hug him either it was a genuine hug or not, Jax did say his mom hugged him despite the arguing and barrating after Jax told her "that personal" thing. Which I believe Jax expected her to hit him or something but when he received affection after years of barrating and mocking Jax totally would've freaked out. Imagine being bullied and barrated all your life with barely any physical contact and suddenly after an argument that was personal to you, your parent hugs you for the first time affectionately? Yeah, that would freak out any regular person and be taken it WAY BACK. It was a normal human reaction that escalated into an eccident.

So, what I also realized that Jax's dad left when he was young without saying a word according to his memories which did think "nobody should care about me because they leave eventually and abandon you" mentality....(which was a bit close to home...yikes!!!)

Also how old was he when he pushed his mom?? I imagined him between his teens or entering her young adult hood because-

I mean he could've been, look at this image.

Jax didn't have that much of a long hair when the accident probably happened or was growing out their hair since then before he was enlisted into army/camp...

Besides Jax had slightly long hair, he probably used the excuse "it's an easthetic" or "It's just part of the culture!" Since she's emo...she would be also teased and bullied by his piers and own mother.

Besides Jax masking thinking this is all a game because that's how his brain/copy copes with - It could also be the reason why he bullied Gangle so much since she is quiet and timid which Jax reminded him of himself IRL which his head probably he wanted to separate himself from his "pathethic" version of himself...which he thinks Gangle is Pathethic and he thinks Ragatha is too much and thinks that Zooble is nothing but anger issues aaaanddd thought that Pomni only wanted to be his friend to use his past against him or something. Which he did get paranoid about when he DID open up to Ribbit and started to bully her via ignoring her and being self destructive. Maybe someone outside (could be his mom or ex friend) that he probably told a big secret and that secret got exposed to the public which could explain why Jax got so paranoid when he opened up.

But in the end of the day Ribbit didn't say a word, besides if Jax didn't care he panicked when he first saw an Abstraction and cried when Kaufmo was next because those two were his CLOSEST friends so far.

It could explain her self-destructive issues and self esteem issues. Sure, but Jax doesn't apologize except for pomni in his own way and finally let's someone in for real.

But those are the POSITIVE things I could say of Jax, some of them are theories sure and just me thinking about scenarios that could be posible...BUT-

(My issues with Jax and the fanbase)

Sure, Jax is a representation of the creator since Goose did confirm on her Twitter than Jax is a self insert.

When Jax was confirmed to be trans everyone wanted to point out "W-well he was mean to Gangle and all the women so that's not good trans rep!" ARE you serious?

Not everyone's Transition/ EGG shell crack moment is - "Wow I'm trans, I'm gonna wear boy/girl clothes YIPPIEE IM SO HAPPY TO BE TRANS ITS SO SIMPLE!!" It's not...it's not that simple to come out as trans.

It's a damn journey for a reason, a lot of trans people started LIKE JAX; being an asshole towards the opposite or same gender, being an asshole towards confident / "losers", being an asshole towards people from LGBT communities. Not every person that is or comes out of the closet is an angel - do not infantalize the community as being "pink fairy glitter slay!" Because it's not like that.

Gay men bullied men that painted their nails and realized down the road that THEY themselves are gay.

Shit, I myself had to go though this myself, i was an asshole towards genderfluid people and bisexuals for no reason until I MYSELF REALIZED "oh wow I am pansexual and nonebinary" having that mindfuck moment myself. It could take YEARS it could take a day it could take a WEEK OR TWO for people to realize why they are bullying that community until they realize them themselves are part of such community all along.

And Jax being a jackass towards the only women in the circus, plus Zooble. Of course he would have issues with that! He would probably bully those who are comfortable with their body if Jax had the chance! If Jax didn't abstract and decided "fuck it, I love myself!" Moment in the movie Jax would've been happy and expressing femininity for the first time without people judging him...besides everyone in the circus wouldn't judge for that reason and would've been cool with it - but Jax is also SELF DESTRUCTIVE especially with their trauma...and no I am not defending Jax, it doesn't matter how traumatized you are it's no excuse to bully / harras people just because you are traumatized. I get it.

But we need to stop babying Jax as if he did no wrong, Jax bullied his first actual friends to abstraction, bullied Gangle since she got there and Gangle didn't even pick her own name, kept requesting violent adventures just to see people suffer and laugh at it, bullied those who were confident in the circus with their own body / selves, threatened Ragatha to shut up or else (which I imagine he threatened Ragatha with physical violence or something similar), called Kaufmo Crazy multiple times before Kaufmo abstracted, bullied Ribbit into ignoring her and never talking to her again to the point of Ribbit abstracting, never apologized to anyone else or owned to his mistakes, didn't bother to know those in the circus except place them in stereotypes of "the crazy" "the sad" "the angry" etc, blamed everyone for HIS ISSUES even tho the other people in the circus didn't have anything to do with it.

And yes that's the bad I can find so far about Jax as a person and people seriously need to STOP babying that full grown rabbit.

But seriously do not also justify yourself to be transphobic or homphobic towards Jax or anyone who went through a similar transition. If Jax owned up to hismistakes an genuinely made an effort to fix those mistakes maybe JUST MAYBEEE Jax could've been a redeemable character with an intresting upcoming. But no...

Also crazy how people over sexualize Jax when the FIRST episode came out...wtf?? It's just weird, if you ship yourself with Jax I don't mind I don't care that's your ship do whatever you want with it. But for those who said "Oh Jax is totally me because I'm an edgelord like him HAHAHA" are you genuinely ok??? I just think there kids commenting those things but seriously no, tmfull grown adults commenting that about a character who bullies women to prove their "masculinity" and have control that they are "still a man" before the movie came out.

Because how can you genuinely look at Jax and say "oh they are totally me" and be the complete opposite? - I'm not saying you should bully others to be like Jax. I'm asking like genuinely did you even watch the same show?...if it's for being a "edgelord" I understand and pass it but if you genuinely see yourself in Jax as a asshole who can't take accountability and could send people to harm themselves I am putting you in a watchlist...

But if you see yourself in Jax as a trans person that's cool too because it probably reflects how you came out or how you felt because knowing you were trans.

Going to my last point I wanted to talk and ramble on-

(My headcannons for Jax)

Somethings were left in the show, sure.

Again, Goose confirmed that Jax was her self insert because Jax was HER coming out journey, which again some trans people did come out like Jax and started exactly like Jax at some point in their life.

So, I wanted to headcannon as Jax as gwnderfluid better than fully trans (Besides genderfluid is under the trans umbrella terms) - Jax as a character would be genderfluid as seen by their behavior.

Maybe they want to be masculine for a couple of weeks, then fem presenting once in a full moon and nonebinary at random. Jax would probably say shit like "I feel like a guy, no fuck I feel like a girl...nevermind I don't care anymore" all the time trying to decide what they wanted to be for the day / week / month.

It would also be more hinted in the show that they do lack confidence and is really questioning their gender and having some sort of gender crisis of some form even if we don't hear Jax say it out loud to let the audience know that "Hey something is up but I'm not spilling the beans" type of narrative to keep the fans on their toes and have their fan theories.

Also since the characters in the circus are MWNTAL COPIES of people I imagine human Jax coming out as Genderfluid or trying to figure out in a healthy way after he stayed at his friend's house for a long period of time. I also imagine Human Jax that they genuinely did change while the copies are lacking to realize they need to grow and be comfortable in their own skin to genuinely stay in the circus without abstraction.

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But that's all (so far)!! If I missed something tell me down bellow of course and I could give my honest opinion about it or give me some headcannons lol.