#mydiary

the problem is, as i've found, you can't always trust critics or internet randos or even close friends to tell you how you're gonna feel about a work of art before you experience it. positive reviews across all those sources usually mean you'll have a good time, but not always. more importantly, works with middling or negative reviews are sometimes transcendentally great

in fact, i think it's hugely important to find your personal favorites outside of the general consensus. it's a sign of a healthy art diet to have your album or movie or whatever. something obscure, odd, and generally regarded by those aware of it, as a perfect 5/10.

falling in love with a work like that marks you as a real human being, who has developed a complex palette and a deep understanding of the genre and medium. everyone knows lord of the rings is a masterpiece. it takes an individual, dare i say a connoisseur, to claim that nine princes in amber deserves the same description

more, it gives you a connection to the artist. making art takes a lot of love, and a lot of work. you need to really believe in what you're making. you hope that someone else believes, too

the sieve of time filters out the overwhelming majority of art from any given era. that means if you like something right now, and it exists outside the purview of either pop culture or universal critical acclaim, odds are it'll be forgotten pretty fast. it's up to you to love those obscurities

i'm already hitting the age when i can look back on high school and realize most of the weird alt subcultures i lived in as a teenager are basically gone. the tiny indie bands i loved, the music scenes i was a part of, the short stories my friends wrote, are in the past now. who else, what critic, will love those things as much as i did, and still do?

·˚ ༘ yesterday today was april fool's day in snowdrop! ·˚

the town was filled with clownery in the air. everywhere i went my villagers would be telling me big lies. all day.

.　 ۫ · i was excited to meet blanca today since it was my first proper april fools' in acnl. after talking to blanca, they disappeared. at first, i was perplexed since they vanished out of thin air, but turns out they go into the villagers houses for the pranks!

₊˚⊹ the first victim villager was etoile. i've never seen her so mad like this before (lol). i got her picture! (yay)

˖°. the next villager was rudy. the motto for rudy in japanese threw me off and unfortunately, i didn't get his photo :( (boohoo)

it took some time waiting for the other villagers though, but luckily i got everyone's photo... well.. except for rudy (｡ᵕ ◞ _◟)

it was fun seeing them wipe their faces (or at least blanca that is) idk why hopkins looks goofy here from behind ꉂ (´∀｀) haha (his face screams goofy. i love him)

๋࣭ ⭑ here's wade giving me his photo and saying "eheheh~ this is my photo~" shyly. (how adorable♡)

.˚₊ ⊹ ruby was the last villager for the day. after blanca left, she was like "oh yeah, there's a rumor that next year blanca will come back again?! but you know that could also be just a rumor~"

i have a feeling that one's not going to be a lie.

This is a pretty fucked up position. I've been saying the same shit every night for at least five years, more like fifteen years. Can't get my feet under me because I'm sick. Can't get anyone to care about me being sick. Can't get anyone to do anything to make me not sick. Can't get any kind of accommodations to make being sick easier. Because I've always been sick, and because I have no family to speak of, and no ability to support myself, I'm just sort of stuck in the drowning machine. Just get kicked in the head 24/7.

Before I left for Washington, I was in a good direction. I really wanted to get into a trade. Then my health went to hell. Now I'm worse off than I've ever been.

I got a lot of questions about my imaging. Last time I asked the neuro about it, he told me he doesn't really know about interpreting imaging enough to address my questions. Maybe I'll shoot him another message saying I had a really shit day and I've noticed a couple things I got questions about. But the circulatory shit is also freaking me out. My PCP doesn't really care a ton about that. Come to think of it, I described an episode to my PCP a while ago where my bp dropped and it got really hard to think and I got unbelievably agitated, along some other symptoms like a pressure in my head and shit. He didn't really care. I think I need a new PCP. I think I need to go to fucking Mayo, but I've already tried twice and they won't see me.