#practice makes perfect

Risa & Shade

Conversation ensued

And I want to do so many things to you

The camera goes off. A bright light causes a temporary malfunction of your vision. You blink it away. Each slow closure of the eyelid bringing you closer to reality again.

You examine the photo - hair not right, smile to fake, arms too flabby - and nod thankfully at the person who took it.

Flash.

Another photo.

You examine this one closely having fixed all the previous flaws. It should be perfect. And yet - thighs too thick, stomach too bloated, cheeks to chubby - this one too gets pocketed.

Flash.

The final photo.

This has to be it. You turn the camera over in your hands, excited to see the outcome , and squeal!

Some monster is looking back at you with your eyes. Their hair is thin and fading, their arms and legs as frail as twigs, and their cheeks have sunken into the skull.

You overhear a conversation, "She used to look so beautiful, I wonder what happened?"

And what did happy to that low self esteemed young woman? Unrecognisable, even to herself, she hid away from the world and regretted her choices. If only she could go back and tell herself she's okay. No more than okay, that she is beautiful and gorgeous, that she doesn't eed to change a thing.

If only this were a magic camera that could take her back to that day befofe everything went wrong. If only she could save her younger self... if only...

They're telling me to write more smut 👀

most of the time, i want to temporarily expand or remove the boundaries on what we can do to each other. S&M gives me insight on my specific talents and lets me practice them:

oh cool, i can make someone feel [X] by doing [Y] or [Z]

so that's how i metabolize pain at my limits

how would i manipulate this specific person to work against their own interests?