#midnightdiary

Dear Diary,

Its sad to realize that at the end of the day, we still cant get enough emotional support from anyone. Even with your closest one.

We just dont get the exact support we need.

Maybe thats 'cause people are just human. And human has flaws and is not perfect.

So maybe, we just have to accept it the way it is. After all, we still have ourselves. Our best support system is ourselves.

Hugs,

03/02/2022 00:18

For the last few months, I have been feeling like a ship floating around without an anchor. Lately, I have been asking myself, if there are other ships like me and for how long can I float till I reach the end of the world? Is there an end to these endless waves? Or are they endless like my thoughts and questions?

It feels like I am trying to look for the bottom of the lake with my toes. I am stretching my body out, puckering my lips for air while my toes desperately search for the sand I should be feeling. Instead, I feel the cold of the water seep into my skin. The deepness of the lake feels cold and frightening because I do not know what could be swimming beneath my feet. 

I truly believe

with my whole being,

that I was made to love

You and me

my friends and family

i believe with my whole heart

that i’m made out of love

for the world and nature

for the lights that dance in the night

the clouds that caress the sky

for the flowers that slowly open

revealing the sleeping bees

i believe with my whole body

that i am made to laugh

and sometimes even to cry

that i was made to feel

that i was made to live

and float across the world

i was made to meet people

and to get to know them

even just for a little

I believe in me

that is am allowed to be here

-AMC

originally written in Dutch

17/06/2024

ik geloof met heel mijn ziel

dat ik ben gemaakt

om te houden van

jou en mij

van mijn vrienden en familie

ik geloof met heel mijn hart

dat ik gemaakt ben uit liefde

voor de wereld en natuur

voor de lichtjes die s avonds dansen

en het gras dat danst door de wind

de wolken die de hemel zachtjes verwennen

voor de bloemen die langzaam openen

en de bijtjes die daar zachtjes slapen

ik geloof met heel mijn lichaam

dat ik ben gemaakt om te lachen

en soms ook huilen

dat ik ben gemaakt om te voelen

dat ik ben gemaakt om te leven

en zweven door de wereld

ik ben gemaakt om mensen te ontmoeten

en leren kennen al is het maar voor eventjes

ik geloof met heel mijn lichaam in mij

dat ik hier mag zijn