#dramatisation

we are the rats, mcr want to be the rats, we are the rats that are going to destroy the garbage that is capitalism, we shall feast upon the flesh of the rotten up top

- Note = I’ve mentioned before about my dislike of negativity, but I promise that this three part release will get gradually more positive. I love Terry Pratchett and I adore the original Going Postal, and that’s probably why I can’t be positive here. But the second will be kinder and the third will be praising the topic.

I watched part one of the Going Postal mini-series today, which is the first book in the Discworld series to cover Moist Von Lipwig (and yes, everyone reacts to the name), good natured conman. After many long years of conning he is eventually arrested and hanged, only not to die.

   See, technically it’s his alias Albert Spangler who is hanged, giving Moist (played by overacting yet endearing Richard Coyle) a chance to start anew as a reluctantly honest civil servant. The ever-amazing Patrician (Charles Dance who may be perfect for the role) has him become the new postmaster general for the city’s long decrepit post office, a positively final position.

   Moist learns this when he meets Adora Belle Dearheart, played by Claire Foy, (a surprisingly good choice actually) when she rather callously tells him about the “curse”. So Moist is trying to survive the postal service, woo the harsh Adora Belle and avoid getting murdered by Reacher Gilt (David Suchet).

  No, this isn’t an overview, I just wanted to give a little context and show you the actually very good cast, because that’s probably the best part.

  Going Postal starts off pretty strong, if allowing for necessary changes, ignoring frequent overacting and the abuse of Moist’s character. Actually no, let’s not ignore that one.

   Moist is not a violent man, always talking instead of fighting. He’s charming and smart and manipulates the people around him with but a word. Movie Moist throws a bloody tantrum and it’s a while before we see any charm or wit. That’s very disappointing.

   It is disappointing precisely because it can be included. There is no reason not to include the dialogue that Pratchett has already written. Time? Well they replace his charm with tantrums so no, runtime clearly wasn’t a factor.

  I’m going to overlook the weird costume choices of bright colours and oddly plastic-looking clothes because I’d rather focus on the story, and that’s what is so far the most troubling.

  I know full-well that turning a book into what is effectively a two-part movie means you have to cut things out, and to change certain bits. It has to flow, and it has to fit a time-limit…

   But, well as I said at the start, technically it’s the alias Albert Spangler who gets hanged, and they actually call him by that name. Once. But Moist is definitely called by his real name while imprisoned and at the noose. Heck, he even signs the damn rope. Why? What was the purpose of that change?

   Anyhoo, there are a great number of changes that don’t make sense as the story continues. Terry Pratchett’s genius is less in his storytelling and more in his world, characters and humour. By changing these characters they are sacrificing both character and humour.

  I’m- I’m tired of whining so let’s wrap this up. I didn’t expect the movie to be very good; I actually expected it to be a pretty bad rendition of the story, but I thought that the important bits would still be there.

   The important bits are not there.

   The screenwriters of Going Postal went postal on the story, making changes that they then had to work around to get the film back on track. They turned a brilliant and original piece of work into a very uninspired story that any Hollywood hack could throw together.

  You may notice that I didn’t give any constructive examples like I normally do and there’s a good reason for that: there’s already a fantastic example that I can’t match.

The premise is that time moves differently on the island of Murano, where the protagonist takes up making beads to save her family after her father dies.

It's a good idea but, at least in this version, the outside world is barely there (unless you count Venice, which apart from a mention that it is sinking, doesn't seem to age much either) and functions simply as a place to receive beeds and lose the love of one's life to. I wonder if there's more mention of the outside world in the book.

I loved her descriptions of the detail of glass-making, the relations between the makers and the merchants and her annoying, coddled brother.